Behold! I Give You: The Circus Peanut Post!

Jaley3
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Behold! I Give You: The Circus Peanut Post!

I would like to bring up a very important and socially relevant issue: Circus Peanuts. Now I know some of you are shaking your heads and questioning the logic behind a Circus Peanut being important or relevant in any conversation, but just hear me out. We give Circus Peanuts no consideration in the candy aisle. Many of you don’t even notice the fresh bag of peanuts you are passing buy at Walgreen’s and the crystallized sugar tears the Circus Peanut manufacturers shed due to the lack of patronage given to their pride and joy candy product. I feel it necessary to give you some things to think about the next time you shrug off this delectable confection made from the syrup of the heavens. And since it is the holiday season, think of the joy you will bring to your loved ones with a stocking full of Circus Peanuts!!

Let’s start our thesis with a look at the product’s name- CIRCUS PEANUT. The name alone screams:

!! H A P P Y !!

I mean who is NOT happy at the Circus? (Except maybe the elephants, but they do look pretty contented when they are mowing over their abusers on a terrifying rampage!) And yes, maybe there is a clown or two whose face is PAINTED sad, but I am sure they are ALL smiling on the inside!! I know, I know, SOME kids are frightened of The Worlds Fattest Bearded Woman (with lobster claw hands), especially when she is married to The Worlds Shortest Man (who also is tattooed to look like an alien), but those people are happily in love and isn’t this more of a poor social acceptance issue, rather than a “I hate the circus” point? Everybody loves the freaking circus! And speaking of names, for the Circus Peanut to actually be named out of shape alone and NOT ingredient, well, that took a lot of kerbangers I’d say! There is nary a peanut product in a “Circus Peanut” but their trademark shape takes up the slack and fulfils any assumed name requirements. I have never heard anyone complain about the lack of peanut product in a Circus Peanut and yes, children deathly allergic of peanuts can consume this product freely and feel normal for just a brief moment in time by saying: “I am eating a PEANUT and NOT dieing or puffy!!” (I need a minute here, this is a very emotional thing the Circus Peanut has done!) What other product can do THAT??? Circus Peanuts also NEVER spoil, they crystallize, so if you are not storing pounds of them in your hurricane/bomb shelter, then you are missing out on the sustenance worthy of kings and queens and can eat beans for all I care, yes, the ones with the fake hot dog slices. As an added bonus, if you ever wanted to sleep upon a thermapudic mattress but don’t have the financial ability to purchase one, Circus Peanuts make a lovely bedding alternative! They are the same exact consistency as memory foam and release a bonus whiff of sweet, sweet air with every usage. Also, to those of you who have ever had a strange dream and woke up in disgust chewing on your pillow, this would never be a problem with a Circus Peanut Pillow: The outcome is ALWAYS sweet!! I know I have given you a lot to think about and process, I would like to thank you for your time. I sincerely hope that I have opened your eyes to a new world of true confectionery bliss.

And by the way,

The Circus Peanut shape also makes a lovely furniture line!

**Also available: Working “Gumball Machine” side tables!!

Halloween Haiku II

Leslie M
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Halloween Haiku II
 

Restless souls, waiting

for darkness to fall upon

the day.  Sweet rewards.

     

A Guy Walks Into a Bar With His Pet Monkey | Funny Joke of the Day

Monkey Pickles
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A Guy Walks Into a Bar With His Pet Monkey | Funny Joke of the Day

Funny Joke of the Day

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone’s amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table… whole!” “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did just now?” “No, what?” replied the man. “Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!” said the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to crap that cue ball out, he measures everything first now.” Source

Rusty Lake Studios Presents ‘Cube Escape: The Cave’

Monkey Pickles
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Rusty Lake Studios Presents ‘Cube Escape: The Cave’
If you love escape games, you may know of escape game virtuosos Rusty Lake Studios. The Netherlands-based indie app company started a series of escape games called Cube Escape in 2015, and they are now about to release their 9th installment. The new game, titled Cube Escape: The Cave, will feature the same foreboding, delightfully morose atmosphere as fans are likely to expect from the Rusty Lake escape game series- and continue to unfold a story full of shadowy and compelling mystery.

Rusty Lake: An Immersive Escape Game Series

The co-founders of Rusty Lake Studios describe their series of escape games as “surrealistic adventure games,” inspired by the TV show Twin Peaks– a gloomy, dreamlike drama that was as odd as it was captivating. The Rusty Lake Cube Escape series rises above the typical point-and-click monotony of some puzzle escape games, allowing for an immersive experience for any type of gamer. The stories of the Cube Escape games are intertwined with each other and two other Rusty Lake escape games- Rusty Lake: Hotel and Rusty Lake: Roots. While each escape game has its own unique story line and concept, there are some clear (and purposefully unclear) ways that the stories come together as the player is drawn in to the surreal world of Rusty Lake.

Rusty Lake: The Developers and The Eerie Locale

The creators of this dark escape game series consist of two people: Robin and Maarten. The two friends started working on news-based flash games as a hobby, until the pair took their diversion to the next level and started working on the Cube Escape game series, and developed Rusty Lake Studios. The creative duo have a small crew of folks they like to use in their escape games for voices, soundtracks, background artistry, and testing; overall, the bulk of the game’s content comes from the two men and their intricate storylines. The heart and soul of the escape room action is Rusty Lake; a magical, surrealistic, yet earthly location that feels simultaneously comforting and foreboding. Whether or not Rusty Lake plays a prominent role in each escape game, it’s always there; a reminder that you’re never really going to escape its confines. Many fan theories and speculations about Rusty Lake exist, a surefire sign that this escape game series has struck a nerve with the type of gamer who delights in digging deeper into the overarching themes of games.

Rusty Lake: The Cave

For this most recent installment of the Cube Escape series, the Rusty Lake developers are continuing to weave their story with puzzles that unravel clues about the overall story in Rusty Lake. Like its predecessors, Cube Escape: The Cave will be a stylized slow-burn of cerebral, imaginative content with sometimes downright frustratingly perplexing puzzles to solve. Unlike the other Cube Escape games, The Cave has an in-game hint system for those who don’t like to leave the immersive environment of the escape game to seek out a walkthrough video. Since the Cube Escape games are free to download and play, the hints are exchanged for an ad- which may annoy some players, but will hopefully lower some of the monetary losses resulting from releasing a free-to-play escape game.  

Rusty Lake: Where To Start

For new Rusty Lake players, there can be a lot of confusion about the story and how it unfolds: luckily, there is a specific “path” to take in terms of what order to play the Rusty Lake escape games in. That being said, those new to Rusty Lake/Cube Escape games should note that the these escape games may have a suggested order, but it’s in no way a linear journey. We’ve already said too much: download all the Rusty Lake/Cube Escape games to see for yourself!

Rusty Lake: The Cave comes out for iOS and Android on March 23rd, 2017.

Rusty Lake Cube Escape Game Order:

Cube Escape: Seasons Cube Escape: The Lake Cube Escape: Arles Cube Escape: Harvey’s Box Cube Escape: Case 23 Cube Escape: The Mill Rusty Lake: Hotel Cube Escape: Birthday Cube Escape: Theatre Rusty Lake: Roots Cube Escape: The Cave Sources: Cube Escape Wikia, Touch Arcade, Rusty Lake  

What Do You Want To Hit With A Baseball Bat Today?

Monkey Pickles
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What Do You Want To Hit With A Baseball Bat Today?
Is it one of those days? Where you just know you’re going to lose it? Or maybe you already did?

What Do You Want To Hit With A Baseball Bat Today?

Finding Nimoy

SonOfMonkeyPickles
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Finding Nimoy

Kkhhaaaaaannn !!!

Leonard Simon Nimoy lived long and prospered between March 26 1931 and February 27 2015. He has now boldly transported to the bridge of the USS Beyond and join her crew in their never ending mission of well deserved rest. Logically, he will be missed. Here are a few Nimoy highlights

If I had a hammer I’d smash this record.

William Shanter was infamous for terrible singing but Nimoy was responsible for some notorious tunes too. In particular, If I Had A Hammer and The Ballard Of Bilbo Baggins scar my memories.

Nervous Kiss

Before deciding upon Spock’s trademark attack, The Vulcan Nerve Pinch, Nimoy experimented with the Vulcan Wedgie and The Vulcan Hickie. … Well … maybe it happened that way.

Take the Hellmans Mr. Sprout

Nimoy was a vegetarian, as was Mr. Spock, which made Nimoy the perfect choice to play the role.

Spock Smash!

Mr. Spock had green blood but it would have been a mistake to make him angry because … Vulcans are experts at suppressing their emotions and it would have taken you all day to irritate him.

Is this Tribble house trained ?

After the original Star Trek was canceled, Nimoy opened an exotic pet shop although it is thought that the pets sold were predominately native to Earth.

Waaaah – t ?

Nimoy directed several films including Three Men And A Baby

Bank Right Mr.Spock

For years Canadians have been transforming the picture of Sir Wilfird Laurier ( Canada’s first French speaking Prime Minister ) into Mr. Spock on their bank notes. Since Leonard passed away the practice has skyrocketed in a quirky tribute to the departed actor. Although the artistic transformation does not invalidate the money, the Bank of Canada frowns upon defacing bank notes and points out that retailers may refuse to accept the currency. … Those cold hearted inhuman bankers.

Picture This

Nimoy studied photography at UCLA and was also a published poet.

Science, Baby

Mr. Spock was the USS Enterprise’s Second Officer / Science Officer and not the Baby And Child Care Officer.

Do’s and Don’ts of Soldering

Monkey Pickles
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Do’s and Don’ts of Soldering
Soldering refers to the process of using solder to create a bond between two other items. If you’re like most people, soldering may appear to be too difficult and complicated for you. However, the truth is that soldering can be very simple as long as you have enough practice. If you want to learn how to solder, chances are you’ve been referring to websites online about soldering. While these websites can be a great place to start learning about soldering, you may still find it difficult to learn the basics. This is especially true if you have no one to guide you through the process of soldering at least once or twice before you continue to practice on your own. Here at Monkey Pickles, we want to help our Monkey Picklers get the basics of soldering down pat. Therefore, in this post, we discuss a few of the most important “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of soldering. As long as you follow these “Do’s” and “Don’ts,” you should have no problem soldering.

DO Use the Biggest Glob You Can Get

Chances are, you’ve heard of the saying “The bigger, the better.” Well, this saying definitely applies when it comes to soldering. Ideally, you want to use the biggest glob of solder you can get. If you use the biggest globs you can get, you will have a far easier time soldering. Using a big glob will also ensure that the bond between the two items you create is strong and will be able to withstand the test of time. The last thing you want to do is solder two objects together and have the bond breakdown. Fortunately, using the biggest glob of solder you can get your hands on will prevent this from being a problem. Ideally, you should not use a glob that is smaller than a baseball. This is true even if the parts you’re soldering are about the size of a quarter. No matter of the size of the items you’re soldering, bigger is always better when it comes to the glob.

DON’T Drink the Flux

No matter how tempted you may be to drink the flux, it is vital that you avoid doing so at all costs. Just about everyone who has experience when it comes to soldering will admit that it can be tempting to not drink the flux. Soldering flux looks like caramel or a delicious jelly, but you should resist the temptation to drink flux at all costs. Soldering flux is incredibly expensive and you need to save it for soldering rather than consumption. Instead, you should eat actual caramel or jelly. If you’re having a hard time resisting the temptation to drink flux, you should keep the flux under lock and key. Have a loved one hold this key for you. However, be sure not to allow the loved one to even see or smell the flux. Otherwise, he or she will too feel the temptation to drink the flux. If you’ve already developed an addiction to drinking flux, you will be happy to know that their self-help groups that will be able to help you quit this addiction.

DO Apply As Much Pressure As Possible

One tip that will help you when it comes to soldering is applying as much pressure as you possibly can. Not only should you attempt to apply as much pressure as possible with the tool on the PCB, but you should ensure that you apply as much pressure on the parts that you are soldering. Applying pressure will help the solder the parts more quickly. Also, applying a significant amount of pressure will help preserve your tips and prevent damage of the plating. The last thing you want to do is spend money to replace tips and the plating. Therefore, applying as much pressure as possible at all times will help you save money in the long run.

DON’T Replace the Tip

Another soldering no-no is replacing the tip. In fact, you will find that replacing the tip is the most common mistake that greenhorns to soldering make. Unless you lose or break the tip, you should never have it replaced. Simply stick to the same tip for as long as possible. Also, you should avoid cleaning the tip as well. A clean tip makes soldering difficult, if not impossible. In fact, when you start soldering for the first time, you will realize that you will need to make the tip dirty before you will be able to properly use it for soldering. Also, when it comes to tips, you should avoid the fine tips at all costs. Go for the largest and most blunt tips that you can find. Your soldering skills will improve substantially as long as you use such tips.

What Sci-Fi Gadget Should We Already Have By Now?

Monkey Pickles
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What Sci-Fi Gadget Should We Already Have By Now?

Science fiction books, movies and TV shows have prepared us for a glorious and simplified future.

What Sci-Fi Gadget Should We Already Have By Now?

How to Make Silly Putty

Monkey Pickles
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How to Make Silly Putty
Recently, you’ve been finding yourself feeling melancholy. You’ve thought about it, and you’ve come to the realization that your perpetual sad state is because you long to have your childhood back. Ah, those were the days. All you did was play with Silly Putty and horse around on your toy horse. The sad truth is that until someone invents a machine that can reverse time, you can’t get those days back. What you can do, however, is bring Silly Putty back into your life. In fact, you don’t even have to go to the store for this, because you can make your own! All you need for this funtabulous DIY project are:
  • A clean bowl
  • Glue
  • Liquid starch
  • Food coloring
  • Glitter, beads, whatever small pretty things you like!
And now you’re ready to bring Silly Putty back into your life!

How to Make Silly Putty – Colored Glue

The first thing you are going to want to do is pour the glue into a clean bowl. You want the bowl to be clean because…well, do you want your Silly Putty to have nasty flecks of dirt or old food scattered throughout? Unless you want your Silly Putty to have bits of scrambled eggs in it, make sure the bowl is clean. Then, mix it with food coloring until it is the color you want. If you can’t accomplish this with food coloring, you can add in other things, such as beets if you want a natural source of color.

How to Make Silly Putty – Add in the Starch

Without the starch, all you have is colored glue. It’ll probably just end up making everything in your house stick together, which you don’t want. So now, you will mix in the liquid starch. Stir these ingredients and let the mixture sit for a little while. If you don’t have any liquid starch but still just HAD to make your Silly Putty and didn’t feel like delaying the process the 10 minutes it would take for you to go to the store, get the starch, and come back, you can put in powder starch. Or you could totally think outside of the box and use a food that you know contains a lot of starch, like bananas or white bread.

How to Make Silly Putty – Get Creative!

The Silly Putty you remember as a child was pretty plain. You liked it, but it was just a gooey substance of one cool color. But now you’re all grown up. You can do even better than that with all your adult superpowers, which include having money and going out and buying things. Perhaps, one of these times when you’ve gone out and made purchases, you bought glitter or little beads. Think about how much cooler your Silly Putty would be with these things mixed in. And this isn’t limited to these items. You could add in dried flower petals, pineapple tidbits, a teddy bear, whatever you want!

How to Make Silly Putty – Knead It Over and Over

What fun is your Silly Putty going to be if it’s all uneven? You want it to have an even consistency, rather than being all glue on one side and all starch on the other. And of course, you want all of those other knickknacks you have added in to be evenly distributed throughout the stuff as well. So you should just knead it for a while. At least several minutes. If you want to be extra thorough with this, you can do it for a longer period of time. Days, weeks, or months if you want. Kneading your Silly Putty can be your new full-time job. You’ll just have to tell the dog food decorating factory that you’re taking a long vacation.

How to Make Silly Putty – Experience Your Putty!

Making this Silly Putty was so much fun! But now, you have gotten to the best part of all! You get to actually play with your creation! You can slap it on the wall, throw it down the stairs, shove it up your roommate’s nostrils, whatever your childlike spirit desires! It’ll be like you’re a kid again! Of course, there’s the off chance that your Silly Putty will be nothing like what you remember from your childhood and will be full of bits of all sorts of things that you would never want in it, like beets, bananas, teddy bears, what have you. But that’s the reality of adult life. Things never actually end up being like your idealized childhood versions of them.

What To Do When Bored At College

Monkey Pickles
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What To Do When Bored At College
College should be the best time of your life. This is the time when you break hearts the most or have your heart broken into thousands of pieces. This is the time to get drunk, pass out on the walkway and people will actually clap and say how COOL that is. This means that being crazy in college makes feel great. However, there comes a time when students run out of bonkers ideas and end up being as bored as their lecturers. So what are some of the things you can do to lighten up your spirit and make your college life count? Here is a look at the things to do when bored at college.

Sit In A Class You Are Not Taking

Lecturers from famous public figures, historians, and artists can come visiting colleges. So if someone can come to your school to pay a visit and teach, what harm will it do to also pay a visit to a new class and understand nothing? So if you are a medical student, you can attend an engineering class and enjoy the figures and measurements as they fly past your blank head. This is simply the best way you can get rid of a boring afternoon at college.

Go To A Prof’s House For Dinner

Students are as innocent as they are perceived. So no one will judge you when decide to get crush the lecturer’s sumptuous dinner. It is simple, after the lessons are over and all the professors have left the school, it is your opportune moment to strike. Go straight to the lecturer’s door and knock. When he/she opens the door, look lost. Let them notice you are famished while still at the door; here is the trick: make sure your lips are dry and cracked. Look like you haven’t eaten in days. Let them see how much you really NEED the dinner and you won’t even need to ask for some food! It’s pretty nice to not eat ramen for a night, eh?

Film A Video

Friends are the only people who can add some fun into your miserable college life. And there is no better way to have fun with friends than filming a video. It is simple, you can have an already existing script and re-enact or simply improvise. When two or more silly brains are put together, the explosion can be louder than a land mine. The best way to go about filming is recording yourselves recreating a popular music video. This means adding all sorts of crazy stuff in there and being as stupid as possible, like you are being paid for it. This is in fact a great way to bring friends together and get creative. You can add some fun to it by posting it online and waiting for reactions from the public. Video technology can not only used for fun and games while at college but can also be an incredibly useful educational tool. See here to find out how video for education can be best utilized.

Flirt With The Hottest Person On Campus

When you are totally, completely bored, walk up to the hottest guy in the entire campus or the most beautiful lady and flirt. If he/she is way out of your league the better. This is simply tasting the waters. You know you can never win him/her over and so you are simply having fun. This will take a lot of courage, but for SURE your boredom will be cured by your anxiety level rising beyond capacity.  

What’s The Best Thing To Add To A PB&J Sandwich?

Monkey Pickles
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What’s The Best Thing To Add To A PB&J Sandwich?
A classic PB&J is just that: a classic. It’s hard to improve on a classic, but lots of people have tried over the years.

What’s The Best Thing To Add To A PB&J Sandwich?

A Young Boy Got His Driver’s Permit And Asked His Dad…

Monkey Pickles
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A Young Boy Got His Driver’s Permit And Asked His Dad…

Funny Joke Of The Day

A young boy had just gotten his driver’s permit and asked his dad if they could discuss his use of the car. His dad said, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we’ll talk about the car.” Well, the boy thought about that for a moment and he figured it wasn’t that bad of a deal, so they agreed on it. After about six weeks they went into the study, where his dad said, “Son, I’ve been real proud. You’ve brought your grades up, and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible and participating a lot more in the Bible study groups. But I’m real disappointed, since you haven’t gotten your hair cut.” The boy paused for a minute and then said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there’s even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair also.” To this his dad replied, “Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?”

Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

Dr. Masseuse

SonOfMonkeyPickles
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Dr. Masseuse
Dr. Masseuse. I am a masseuse, yes I am I massage your thighs like puckered hams I massage necks, backs and chicken wings Things that dangle, things that swing But not the dong that dings So don’t ask, ’cause the police I’ll ring Just relax, except for your anal tract I’ll work my magic upon your back You may even fall asleep As I massage you deep Tension will melt away As my digits dance and play I dissolve the grind of your working day You’ll wake up and shout ” Wahey! ” And that will end our session You’ll feel great You’ll have learned a lesson … Namely that, You been massaged by a cat Meow!

What’s The Best Way To Prepare Spaghetti?

Monkey Pickles
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What’s The Best Way To Prepare Spaghetti?
You’ve obviously got to cook the pasta, but once you’re past that, spaghetti is a blank canvas, ready for the master strokes of your meal-making!

What’s The Best Way To Prepare Spaghetti?

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