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What A Coincidence!

Funny Joke of the Day!

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!” “What a coincidence,” the farmer said. “This is a special day for me; I am celebrating.” “This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,” said the woman. “What a coincidence!” said the farmer. As they clinked glasses, he added, “What are you celebrating?” “My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!” “What a coincidence!” said the man. “I’m a chicken farmer, and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.” “That’s great!” said the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?” “I used a different rooster,” he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, “What a coincidence!” Source

More Funny Jokes Here!

Kids & Teen Bodybuilding Workout

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Whether your child is an athlete and is looking to improve their skills or you’re worried your child is becoming overweight, we have provided below an awesome workout routine geared directly towards children and the limits their bodies should endure.  Please keep in mind all exercises should be done with weight limits that are comfortable for the child and only allow enough weight to create a challenging  resistance.  These exercises for children are not created to be done with heavy weights.

Monday (Chest & Triceps)

Bench press 5×10

Incline press 4×10

Tricep Extension on cable 3×10

French Press (Skull Crushers) 3×10

Sit Ups 5×25

Aerobic 30-60 min

Stretch

 

Tuesday Aerobic exercise 30-60 min

Wednesday Shoulders & Legs

Seated behind the neck press 4×10

Lat Raises (DB) 4×10

Front Raises (DB) 4×10

Upright Rows 4×10

Squats 5×10

Calf Raises 5×15

Sit Ups 5×25

Aerobic exercise 30-60 min

Stretch

Thursday

Aerobic exercise 30-60 min

Friday Back & Biceps

Pull Ups 3×10

Dumbbell Curls 3×10

Preacher Curls 3×10

Sit Ups 5×25

Aerobic exercise 30-60 min

Stretch

Saturday & Sunday Rest!!

What to Do When Bored At Work

Typically, a workplace is supposed to be a productive environment; hence, many people never like even the idea of making jokes let alone having fun. But let’s be realistic, all that seriousness isn’t healthy. Can you stay all day glued to your desk? Or not getting the chance to laugh a little with friends or even at them? Sure we can feel fulfilled at work in many ways; some of us may feel rewarded by finding ways to improve the structure of the business. One of these ways may be finding a document management software from somewhere like FilecenterDMS.com in order to improve the filing methods within the office and minimizing the use of wasteful paper. Aside from that, it is absolutely necessary that we all have a little fun, here’s how:

Catch Up With Your Partner In Crime

There are some memories you and your work BFF share. Can you even begin to count the number of houses you torched back in the days while playing pranks on each other? Or even kids that had to keep away from you because you broke each other’s arm? Well at times like these, when you are so bored in the office, it’s about time you reminisce these events. Just think of this, you just mentioned how you had your boss fired in the previous office you worked; won’t everyone be afraid of you? How about you always asking for anything, and everyone runs to get it for you. That’s quite adorable.

Clean Your Computer

Cleaning can range from wiping the surface of your screen and the keyboard among other devices to clearing the space of your computer. The wiping can be done with a little music in the background which you can often stand to dance alongside. You can even walk to someone and request them to dance to the tune with you. To make it even more fun, create a dancing competition and see who can dance better than the best dance, in this case, you being the best dancer. Whilst you’re at it, you could clean your colleagues computers too! Although, your workplace probably already has a company such as GREENFACILITIES.CO.UK employed to deal with issues of cleanliness. Either way, its a bit of fun to get your dancing on whilst cleaning! Alternatively, as you clear your space in your computer, as you do this, you may come across some funny clips or even a video you took of someone in the office, at their worst. Send it around, and let people have fun. You may even begin by making them a little curious before posting the clip. Can you believe what the boss does when alone in the office?

Cause Trouble

We must agree that the silence of the office is at times not so comforting neither relaxing at all. Upon getting bored, take a stroll around the office. You sure will get a lot of people so busy to even realize you are around. Disturb them, even for the mere reason of failing to acknowledge your presence; then give them the what will you do about it look. Sure enough, they can’t take any disciplinary action about your actions, but a little payback later can sure serve you right. Make something with the papers, clips, and pins while still passing the time, then go around scaring people, being cautious not to give others a hint of what you are doing; it will spoil the fun. Take a chance to laugh at your colleagues for their reaction, or even capture the moment on video; it can work better if you have your partner with you.

Play Computer Games

With the quickly advancing technology, everything is digitized, and almost anything is available online. Given this digitization, therefore, you can easily access online games and even play with other people in other locations. You sure have your favorite game, and you also know someone else in the office who loves the game. Log into the game and request them to play with you. If this doesn’t work, then take off your headphones and play the game as loud as you can, shouting and sulking. But be sure to create a win and entice them to play the game. You may even name your opponent after them, and this will prompt them to play so as to clear their name. If this still doesn’t work, by this time you have captured the attention of many and anyone can offer to sign up and play the game with you or anyone else in the office.

The Adventures Of Sheerluck Jolmes, Part 5: Dancing Sea Monkeys

Previously, on Sheerluck Jolmes: Having sorted out the opium shrimp, Jolmes and Mustrade were attacked by mechanical geese. But quick thinking, quick-enough reflexes and a good number of pancakes saved the day. But who killed Mr. Carini? And which is better, incense or opium? sheerluck jolmes, sherlock holmes, cartoon popovers, cartoons online, read cartoons online, read comics online

Come back next Saturday morning for the exciting conclusion of the saga!

The Sheerluck Jolmes Series Part 1: An Indisposed Chef Part 2: Too Much Onion Part 3: Shrimp & Smoke Part 4: Takeout Blueberry Pancakes Part 5: Dancing Sea Monkeys Part 6: A Deadly Rotating Bow Tie

Do’s and Don’ts of Recycling

We’re getting sick and tired of hearing all about the need for recycling. All this blathering about everyone having to do their part, make the world a better place for future generations. What a load of hassle. The earth has taken care of itself for thousands of years, and there’s no way that 10 million plastic bottles in the ocean is going to change all that. Besides, recycling is just one big time suck. Since when did throwing something away become so freaking complicated? Now you can’t just toss a plastic container into the garbage bin and be done with it. You have to squint at this teensy tiny little writing inside a weird—and frankly, Masonic-looking triangle—on the bottom of the package and see what “category” of recycling it belongs to. Please. Ain’t got time for that. With that said, here are the REAL ways to recycle – or not.

DO drink water exclusively from plastic bottles

They say that water in plastic bottles is no better than the water from your own tap. But that’s probably just propaganda from the water companies, who want you to use more city water. Anyway, did you know that city water also includes toilet water? So your tap water today might have been somebody’s toilet water yesterday. Bottled water, on the other hand has been purified. It says so, right there on the label. Does your kitchen faucet say “purified?” No. Didn’t think so. So definitely keep loading up on pallets and pallets of bottled water so you can always be sure of drinking purified water from the source.

DON’T bother bringing your own bags to the grocery store

Those cardboard bins that stores have in front where you can stuff your used plastic bags are there for a reason. So you can stuff your bags in, then the store cleaner comes along at night and empties the cardboard bin – into the trash can. They’re all going in the same place. To the landfill. So whether you use 10 plastic bags this year or 10,000, plastic bags will still get mass produced and still get dumped at the landfill. Save your time and stop feeling guilty about not doing your part.

DO pretend to recycle when others are watching

This is called covering your social a*&. You have to be careful, especially at work, to look like you’re an “avid” recycler. Recycling is really trendy right now and if you blithely toss your microwave containers into the trash, you’ll look like a non-conformist. Ultimately, this can cost you a raise. Companies like people who do everything the same. You don’t want to stand out. So go ahead and throw those used plastic sporks into the recycling bin that some bored receptionist placed in the office kitchen. You can always fish them out and move them to the regular trash can later, when no one’s looking.

DON’T buy items that say the container is made with “post-consumer goods”

This means the package has been made from recycled materials, which is totally gross. Just think of all the trash that goes into a bin. A lot of people recycle used tissues, even when they’ve had a cold. So that package of pasta could be made with cardboard that was pressed up against someone’s snotty tissue. Eww. Make a stand with your consumer dollars and don’t buy from companies that use recycled packaging.

Hops & Dreams In San Diego

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How to gain intimate knowledge of San Diego’s finest watering holes?

Why on San Diego Walking Brewery Tour run ( don’t worry … you don’t have to run ) by Five Star Tours. Whether you are a native, or merely visiting with a United Nations delegation you are desperate to impress, this is the tour for you. Sure you can try to soak up this knowledge without the guidance of trained tour professionals but … this is beer we are talking about. … How sure are you that you will get beyond the first bar by yourself ?

Will you succumb to your favorite beer

at the thirst hurdle or will unaware of the nearby 3 hour assault of ecstasy you could be treating your taste buds to ? Be forewarned, however. This is not a tour for lightweights or light beers. You will experience rich IPA’s, beers borne of influences from all over the world as well as hidden gems brewed local.

But there is more …

This is a weekly event. Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday from 2-5 pm. So if you are unsure that you will absorb all the engaging industry secrets there are to offer in just one tour, you can take a 3 day crash course … following which you may need to crash. In a matter of mere hours Five Star Tours will furnish you with the almost supernatural ability to impress your friends & acquaintances with awe inspiring knowledge of San Diego’s most intoxicating drinking establishments. Could this be the factor that impresses your boss into recommending you for that promotion ? We can’t be sure … but is it worth the risk of not finding out?

Is there a banana or pickle

based beer in San Diego ? We at Monkey Pickles can neither confirm nor deny this rumour but the San Diego Walking Brewery Tour is the place to find out. Below are links to street views of some the establishments on the tour so that, if you sample a little too much beer, you will have a better chance of knowing where you are & what is happening to you.

Karl Strauss

 

Rock Bottom Brewery

 

Yard House

 

The Beer Company

 

An 85-Year-Old Man Was Requested By His Doctor…

… for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. “Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”

The Adventures Of Sheerluck Jolmes, Part 4: Takeout Blueberry Pancakes

Previously, on Sheerluck Jolmes: Jolmes and Mustrade took Jolmes’ opium shrimp on several adventures around the city. Jolmes even outfitted them in tailored suits and enrolled them in crustacean college. But the mystery has been temporarily forgotten. Meanwhile, Jolmes has insulted Mustrade by saying he isn’t really French! Will they get past their disagreement? And will they be able to get back on track and solve the mystery? sheerluck jolmes, sherlock holmes, cartoon popovers, cartoons online, read cartoons online, read comics online

Come back next Saturday morning for the exciting continuation of the saga!

The Sheerluck Jolmes Series Part 1: An Indisposed Chef Part 2: Too Much Onion Part 3: Shrimp & Smoke Part 4: Takeout Blueberry Pancakes Part 5: Dancing Sea Monkeys Part 6: A Deadly Rotating Bow Tie

The Truth About Zombie Bananas

There has been an ongoing debate about reviving black, dead bananas, often referred to as zombie bananas. Some believe that zombie bananas can be brought back to life by sealing them in a plastic bag with dry rice for one hour and then slowly heating them with a blow dryer. Others don’t put any stock in the banana resurrection. A better question is whether zombie bananas should be revived at all. Just look at what happened to Nana Peel.

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One evening, Nana was preparing for her six grandchildren to visit the next day. As she was looking through her cupboards for a breakfast plan, she came across a bunch of forgotten bananas. They were black and sickly looking. Nana’s bridge partner (they played bridge together every Saturday at the community center) had been telling her about rejuvenating blackened bananas. Nana decided to give it a try and went to work reviving them. She was quite pleased with the results and set about making plates for the children’s breakfast. She put one banana on each plate and figured she could easily add a homemade sweet roll in the morning. There was one zombie banana left, and she was curious to see how it tasted. Nana giggled as she made herself a “zombie split.” The taste was just a touch off, but not bad for a banana near the end of its life. Tired after a long day, she left the banana peel on the counter and headed upstairs to enjoy her treat while she watched the news before bed. She settled in, her room lit only by the white-blue flicker of her TV. The long day, satisfying snack, and the monotonous voice of the news anchor lulled Nana right to sleep. A loud crash jolted her awake. As she got her bearings, she realized other noises were coming from downstairs. She crept toward the landing and peered over the railing into the kitchen. Nana could not believe her eyes. Zombie bananas peels were destroying her kitchen! The peel from the banana she ate was freeing the last banana from its mushy innards to join the fray. By the sink, two peels were fighting with steak knives, stabbing and slashing at each other. Two peels were doing a bizarre sort of flying trapeze act from the chandelier. Another was slinking its way across the counter, pushing off the breakfast plates Nana had set out. Two zombie peels moved toward Nana’s most precious family heirloom, an antique cookie jar. Snapping into action, she raced down the stairs yelling, “Don’t you dare!” As she ran into the kitchen, one zombie peel slipped itself under her foot, causing her to slip and fall. Her head glanced off the kitchen cabinet and everything went dark. Nana woke to the sound of her grandkids eagerly pounding on the front door. The kitchen was dim with morning sunlight. It looked like a tornado hit, but all was quiet. The zombie bananas and peels were gone. The only evidence they had been there was the mess left behind. No one ever believed Nana’s account of that night. Everyone thought it was a tall tale from a night of too many margaritas. Keep this story in mind when you find your own blackened bananas. You may not want to mess with these zombies.

How To Break Up With Your Boyfriend

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We understand it can be tricky to let him down easy. Even if he knows your relationship is stale and on life support, your boyfriend is likely going to stick around for as long as he can. Unless you are real ugly, a guy will continue his relationship with you even when it is cold and meaningless, just because he fears being lonely. Lucky for him, you aren’t afraid to set his soul free and make him the loneliest boy on the block. For his own good, of course. Here are some tips to make the process effective and permanent.

1. Make It Quick

If it seems like you might possibly be happier without your boyfriend, drop everything immediately! Time has shown us that hesitation leads to pain and suffering. Don’t think twice about breaking up, do it right now! We’ll wait.

2. Don’t Tell Him Why

It can be easy to fall into the trap of explaining the abrupt breakup. Don’t do it. The less you tell him about why you are leaving, the better. This may seem counterintuitive, but if he knows why you are leaving, he will waste his own time trying to be a better person and waste your time trying to do nice things for you. You’re a busy girl. (Or guy. It’s a new millennium.) You don’t have time for his stupid promises and attempts to improve himself. Just cut him loose and get out of there.

3. Find A New Boyfriend Immediately

This is crucial for ending the relationship the right way. Unless you are off the market, he will likely continue wondering if you might get back together. Nope. Find a guy — a friend of his, if possible — and start dating. If you can, move in with the new guy right away. Let your ex-boyfriend know that you are shacking up with his best friend Kris and throwing all his crap out on the porch. That will encourage him to literally “pick up the pieces” of his life and move on, rather than moping and feeling sorry for myself. Himself. Whatever. By shacking up with his best friend, you are doing the right thing: granting him a brand new life. A fresh start. Good for you!

4. Keep The Dog

You picked the dog out together. That means he is yours. The fact that the dog likes you less doesn’t matter. He’s yours. Keep him. For maximum effect, send pictures to your ex-boyfriend whenever the dog looks sad or tired.

5. Let Him See You In Public With Your New Boyfriend

Be sure to hang out at your ex-boyfriend’s favorite bars and restaurants, or maybe even his friends’ houses or his place of work. Bring Kris with you and don’t forget to engage in plenty of public affection. This may seem unnecessary, but it is a very important part of teaching your ex-boyfriend how to behave without you in his life. Show him how happy you are without him so that he can feel happiness vicariously through you. He may think he is angry at first, but you and Kris know what’s best for me. I mean, him. We hope that these tips will prove helpful when dumping your boyfriend. You are done with that guy anyway, so do him a favor. Set him free! Don’t worry about his long and lonely nights with nothing but the buzz of crickets and his own thoughts to serenade him. He won’t even care. Really.

If you liked this, look out for our companion piece coming soon: How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend.

Walks Into A Bar Jokes – Funny Jokes

A Man Walks Into A Bar Jokes

You’ve heard ‘a man walks into a bar’ jokes forever, even before you were of legal drinking age. Walking into a bar is apparently hilarious. Actually, it isn’t, BUT the punchlines derived from ‘walks into a bar’ are! The setup is so simple: the punchline is usually a play on words combined with many other variables, like the ‘man’ that walks into a bar can be a woman, a sandwich, or a unicorn. It doesn’t matter as long as the old-school setup of ‘walks into a bar’ is the same distinct theme. Here are our favorite ‘walks into a bar’ jokes!

A Drunk Walks Into a Bar…

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!”

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!”

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom liked it!”

Finally the guy interrupts. “Go home, Dad, you’re drunk!”

Source

A Man Walks Into a Bar…

The bartender says, “Congratulations, you are our thousandth customer! Enjoy this complimentary beer.”

Man: “Hey, thanks!”

Bartender: “Of course, and it’s only five dollars!”

Man: “I thought you said it was complimentary?”

Bartender: “It is.”

Beer: “You have beautiful eyes.”

reddit/user/Ayru_

A Gorilla Walks Into a Bar…

A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, “What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.” So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can’t believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.

So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he’s standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, “Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything.”

So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn’t say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can’t take it anymore.

“You know,” he says to the gorilla, “we don’t get too many gorillas in here.”

And the gorilla says, “At nineteen dollars a drink I’m not surprised.”

reddit/user/Zs2k

A Duck Walks Into a Bar…

Says to the bar tender, “I’d like to buy some peanuts.” Bartender says, “Sorry, don’t sell peanuts.” The duck leaves.

Next day, duck walks into the bar, “I want to buy some peanuts.” Bartender replies, “I already told you I don’t sell peanuts!” The duck leaves.

Next day, the duck walks into the bar, “I want to buy some peanuts!” Bartender yells back, “I told you, I don’t sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I’ll nail you to the wall!” So the duck leaves.

Next day, the duck walks into the bar, “Do you have any nails?” Bartender says, “Sorry, don’t have nails.” Duck asks, “Do you have any peanuts?”

Source

A Man Walks into a Bar…

He tells the waitress, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.”

When she returns with his drink, he asks “Still servin’ breakfast?”

When she says yes, he replies, “Then I’ll have two eggs- runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon ON END- well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee.”

Indignantly the waitress says, “We don’t serve that kinda stuff in here!”

The man says, “Funny… that’s what I had in here yesterday…”

Source

A Man Walks Into a Bar…

Goes up to the bartender, and asks for a beer. The bartender stops him, and says “Well, before you order, let me tell you about our special.”

He directs the man’s attention down to the end of the bar, where there are two huge chunks of meat hanging on meat hooks.

“If you can run down to the end of the bar, jump up, and take a bite out of one of those pieces of meat, you get to drink free here for the rest of your life. But I’ll warn you, if you try it and fail, you have to buy all of the drinks for the rest of the bar all night.”

The man replies “Well, let me think about it. Mind if I take a look?” The bartender lets him, so he saunters down to the end of the bar, and takes a nice, long look at the hanging meat, before turning around and coming back.

“Nah, I think I’ll just order a beer.”

“Alright, but just curious… why aren’t you taking the challenge?”

“Buddy, the steaks are just too high.”

reddit/user/catsfanuk87

A Man Who Just Died Is Delivered To A Local Mortuary…

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Funny Joke Of The Day

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary, and he’s wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.

She gives the mortician a blank check and says, “I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.”

The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, “Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?”

To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, “There’s no charge.”

“No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit,” she says.

“Honestly, ma’am,” the mortician says, “it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I just switched the heads.”

Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

 
(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

Do’s and Don’ts of Slow Cooking

Cooking is great! As you grown into your own as the primary chef of your home and life, you’ll want to explore more and better ways to cook. Now that this curiosity has lead you to slow cooking, you have to wonder if there are any important newbie mistakes that could ruin the whole thing. Slow-cooked meals are supposed to be a thing of beauty, so how can you hit that note from the beginning and skip bland or underwhelming meals from the start? As always, Monkey Pickles has you covered with a few simple do’s and don’ts. Some lessons from traditional cooking will cross over (like always use heat to do the cooking), but others might feel counter-intuitive. That said, here is what you need to know.

DO Unwrap Food Before Throwing it In

One of the great advantages of slow cooking is that it opens up a whole new range of foods to your diet. Unfortunately, slow cookers aren’t advanced enough yet to tell food from packaging. You’d be surprised how easily a layer of plastic lining can ruin an otherwise perfect pot roast. For the more advanced slow cookers, this extends beyond common packaging. Produce sticker labels are also best removed before cooking, and in most cases you even want to avoid a foil wrap. It turns out, those innovative crock pots really change a lot of the rules. So, even though you might prefer to bake or grill unwrapped foods, when you use the slow cooker, you want the raw ingredients only. As wasteful as it might feel, the packaging and wrappings belong in the garbage this time.

DON’T Eat Before the Meal Is Cooked

Some days this will be easier than others. Remember when we talked about the aromas of slow cooking? It’s more powerful than you might think, and those pleasant smells begin wafting long before your food is fully cooked. If you happen to be home for the entire process, you might find it a bit tortuous, which is why the best bet is to plan your slow-cooked meals for days when you won’t be home. Once you get a feel for the process, you can really push things and slow cook meals when you’re gone for a weekend, or even an extended vacation. At the highest level, you’ll start a meal on the day you move out. This technique is a little more expensive, as you’re out a slow cooker, but it’s totally worth it to spare yourself from a lifetime of overwhelmingly savory flavors tormenting your nose with longing.

DO Experiment Heavily

Slow cooker recipe books are an excellent tool to help you get started. Slow cooking is its own thing, and breaking into that world comes with certain discomforts. You’ll never really shine, though until you take off the gloves and get creative, and this extends way beyond having fun with the spice rack. Did your honey-glazed chicken please you last time? Great! You can take it to another level with a cup of ketchup. If you like a scoop of ice cream with your pork tenderloins, wait until you’ve had them together! Naturally, some of your experiments will fair better than others, but the beauty of the slow cooker is that you can mix almost anything. On top of that, you get to enjoy the savory aromas that fill the house before you dig in. You may have invested in the slow cooker because you were too busy to cook such exquisite meals through other means, but you’ll come to love it for the way it opens your pallet to dimensions of flavor you have yet to even imagine.

DON’T Forget to Turn it On

This is trickier than it sounds. The imperative word in this business is slow, and that can make it easy to miss when everything is left off. If you don’t catch it right away, you might miss hours from the cooking process, and then, regrettably, you have to resort to fast cooking. Yuck. The solution is as simple as it sounds. Always double check the power cord, heat setting and indicator lights before you walk away. Once you get this down, you’ll graduate to rechecking a half dozen times until you can smell the cooking process (admittedly, getting older also helps with mastering this technique). The good news is that once you get it down, you won’t have to worry about cold, uncooked dinners anymore.

20 Funny Words That End With -ing

20 Funny Words That End With -ing

Cracking

Let’s get cracking, that’s cracking good. Cracking is the new adjective for everything that’s good. If you can describe it as being cracking, well then, you’re on to something really cracking brilliant.

Guzzling

“Look at him guzzling that beer.” If you’re guzzling anything, it must be super great. After all, there aren’t many things you’d even want to guzzle. You’d never guzzle water. “Boy, she’s really guzzling that water.” Not. Of course you might have a gas guzzler of a car. But you yourself wouldn’t want to guzzle gas, right?

Muddling

Let’s be honest. If you’re muddling through something, you’re not exactly giving it your all. I mean, you’re not really pushing yourself to the limits if you’re muddling through that presentation.

Plodding

Okay, you’ve muddled your way through the presentation and managed not to get yourself fired. Now you’re plodding your way along until you can make it to the Christmas holiday where hopefully your boss will give you that bonus you’ve been counting on to pay for your kid’s braces. Keep on plodding, bro.

Kidding

Who are you kidding? You’ve been plodding along, trying to keep in the background, while all along, you know it’s just been a charade. Don’t try to kid a kidder. Funny, though. An actual kid is a child Billy goat. Is that you? A Billy goat in disguise, trying to fool the powers that be.

Mucking

Well, it looks like there’s been some real mucking up. If you’ve mucked it up, there’s a real mess that you’ve left behind. Muck is muck. It’s muddy, wet and messy. If your boss tells you at your six month progress report interview that you’ve been mucking it up, well, it’s time to cut back on that cable television package, I’ll tell you what.

Meddling

So, you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night. A couple of your wife’s friends are coming over to play cards and shoot the breeze. What could possibly go wrong? Except that you took it upon yourself to tell one of your wife’s friend’s husbands how he shouldn’t let his wife walk all over him the way he has. How he should stand up for himself! Now, the wife is at your house, in your living room, standing in front of your chair telling you how your meddling has ruined her marriage. Your meddling. What a puddle of a mess.

Pop The Cork …

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Pop the cork, clink the glasses, pucker up – Happy New Year, everyone!