LATEST ARTICLES

Do’s and Don’ts of Long Distance Relationships

Whether you’re heading off to college, relocating for a new job, or traveling to another continent to find long lost treasures, you may have to leave your beloved boyfriend or girlfriend behind. Fortunately, simply because you can’t be with your other half physically does not mean you need to break things off completely. You can always maintain a long distance relationship. Unsurprisingly, the idea of maintaining a long distance relationship is intimidating to many people. Fortunately, here at Monkey Pickles, we care about your love lives. The last thing we want is for our Monkey Picklers to end up sad and forever alone, especially since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Therefore, here are a few “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of long distance relationships.

DO Spam Their Social Media With Cliché Quotes

If you want your long distance relationship to be a success, you need to remind your significant other of your existence on a regular basis. Therefore, it is vital that you spam their social media with cliché quotes day in and day out. Ideally, the quotes should be as lovey-dovey as possible. You will get extra points for quotes that are so cheesy and mushy that they make others gag. You will get even more points on top of that if you can achieve projectile vomiting. The vomit will be a testament to the true love between the two of you. Don’t stop spamming romantic quotes because your significant other’s social media ideally should consist entirely of romantic quotes at all times. If you fail to do this, you can expect your long distance relationship to fail.

DON’T Forget to Call Them Every Hour

Another way you can remind your significant other of your existence is calling him or her every single hour of the day. Not only should you call your significant other every hour, but you should also call on the hour. That way, you can train your significant other to expect your calls. The more you can disrupt the regular life of your significant other, the better. Call him or her every hour, on the hour and it will be like you never left. If you truly want to be effective, you should make hourly calls 24/7. Even when your significant other is sleeping, it is vital that you force him or her to get up from their slumber and pick up the phone every hour of the night. Not only will this ensure that you are always on your other half’s mind during the day, but it will also ensure that you are always in the dreams of your other half. Calling your boyfriend or girlfriend every hour, on the hour is one of the most effective ways to ensure the success of a long distance relationship.

DO Police Your Significant Other’s Life

When it comes to long distance relationships, one of the main concerns is that the couple will grow apart. One of the best ways to ensure you don’t grow apart from your significant other is policing his or her life. After all, if you control every single relationship of your other half and refuse to allow your significant other to see his or her friends on a regular basis, it will be impossible for him or her to grow distant from you. The goal is to ensure you are the only one in your significant other’s life. Your significant other should revolve around your life and you should revolve around your significant other’s life. Friends and family will only serve as forms of distraction. Police your significant other’s life and you will guarantee the success of your long distance relationship.

DON’T Stop Crying and Whining

No matter what you do to cope, long distance relationships are incredibly difficult. Therefore, it’s only natural that you fall into a deep depression and spend all your days and nights crying and moping around the house. Even during times when you don’t feel sad, you should continue to cry and mope. Acting depressed will show your significant other how much you value the relationship and how miserable you are without him or her. Your friends and family will definitely be impressed by your over-the-top display of emotion. The amount of tears you shed on the behalf of your significant other essentially represents the strength of your relationship. Drink at least eight glasses of water a day to ensure you don’t become dehydrated from all the crying that you do. If you ever run out of tears at any point, be sure to have eye drops on hand so that you can produce artificial tears. Believe it or not, artificial tears are far better than no tears at all when it comes to long distance relationships.

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man, Part 2: The Great White Hope

Previously on Tartan The Ape-man, We left Derek Shirtless facing almost certain death after a practice session of Lubutol’s premier Aqua Baseball Team goes awry. Will Derek survive ? Will he be saved by a guardian angel, fairy godmother or mysterious pumpkin uncle ? Or will he suffer a greasy ignoble feline demise ? Click and click again below to find out.   Tartan The Apeman Story1 Page 2 text

Do’s and Don’ts of Sexting

Sexting is a great way to keep the target of your affections interested. Of course, if you’re going to sext, you need to know how to go about it. You don’t want to be like a virgin sexter, all elbows and knees, making a big mess of things. You want to come across as a seasoned sexter, who knows what it’s all about. That’s why you should refer to this handy dandy list of sexting do’s and don’ts before you let your thumbs do the walking.

DO sext really fast

Life is too short to worry about whether or not you have the phone number right. Just quickly, with your eyes squinted, start typing in the number of the recipient and hit enter. Then sext away. That way, you’ll be able to send the maximum number of sexts possible in the minimal amount of time. And… if a sext happens to go astray… don’t worry about it! Look, you’re too sexy to be trapped sexting just one person anyway. Shouldn’t everyone have a chance to get a piece of the action? Might even end up being as hot as some videos from websites such as hd sex video xxx?

DON’T worry about appearances

Sexting is for shedding inhibitions and really letting yourself out there. Don’t sext while you’re thinking that your parents are looking over your shoulder, or thinking you should edit your sexts so they are less… blatant. Don’t worry if you look like a wanton, sex-starved creature willing to do almost anything for a little cellular attention. That’s the fun of sexting! Everybody looks like that!

DO sext to people who are in the middle of serious meetings

One of the greatest things about sexting is you can totally throw the person receiving the sexts. A carefully timed sext to your lover can make them exclaim loudly at a stuffy business meeting, or even get them fired if they actually sext you back while in that same meeting. This is a great way to get someone’s attention really fast, and also to help them change careers. Also, when you sext someone in the middle of a serious meeting, you are actually doing them a big favor. Serious meetings are seriously boring, so your sext could actually save them from being bored to death. Bet you didn’t know that sexting was so important! Sexting should probably become part of the life saving courses they teach at community colleges, come to think of it.

DON’T wear clothes in your sext pictures

Sure, lingerie is sexy and everything, but people can see plenty of that when they look at Kim Kardashian’s Twitter page. They can also find this kind of thing when looking at Babestations Hannah Claydon and, no offence, it may be quite difficult to compare to her in terms of sex appeal. When you sext, you should be an open book. Don’t hold anything back. Show it all. That way, if your lover’s phone gets in the wrong hands, the entire depth of your love will be self-evident, as well as a whole lot more. Besides, sometimes these “accidents” can lead to something bigger, like a modeling contract or something. Clothes simply get in the way of you and your talents. Another benefit to not wearing clothes in your sexting pictures is that you’ll be more likely to get a picture back with no clothes on. In other words, your lover will feel the need to reciprocate in kind. And isn’t that what true love is all about? How do you sext? What are some of your secrets for successful sexting? Have you ever become famous for sexting? Tell us about it in the comments below!

Cranberries

0
WHO NEEDS CRANBERRIES? Never liked those. And they don’t go well with gravy.            

What Should You Never Put On A Hamburger?

0
Some things were meant to go on a hamburger. Those things are, in order: ketchup and cheese. Most everything else is probably a bad idea.

What Should You Never Put On A Hamburger?

Finding Nimoy

Kkhhaaaaaannn !!!

Leonard Simon Nimoy lived long and prospered between March 26 1931 and February 27 2015. He has now boldly transported to the bridge of the USS Beyond and join her crew in their never ending mission of well deserved rest. Logically, he will be missed. Here are a few Nimoy highlights

If I had a hammer I’d smash this record.

William Shanter was infamous for terrible singing but Nimoy was responsible for some notorious tunes too. In particular, If I Had A Hammer and The Ballard Of Bilbo Baggins scar my memories.

Nervous Kiss

Before deciding upon Spock’s trademark attack, The Vulcan Nerve Pinch, Nimoy experimented with the Vulcan Wedgie and The Vulcan Hickie. … Well … maybe it happened that way.

Take the Hellmans Mr. Sprout

Nimoy was a vegetarian, as was Mr. Spock, which made Nimoy the perfect choice to play the role.

Spock Smash!

Mr. Spock had green blood but it would have been a mistake to make him angry because … Vulcans are experts at suppressing their emotions and it would have taken you all day to irritate him.

Is this Tribble house trained ?

After the original Star Trek was canceled, Nimoy opened an exotic pet shop although it is thought that the pets sold were predominately native to Earth.

Waaaah – t ?

Nimoy directed several films including Three Men And A Baby

Bank Right Mr.Spock

For years Canadians have been transforming the picture of Sir Wilfird Laurier ( Canada’s first French speaking Prime Minister ) into Mr. Spock on their bank notes. Since Leonard passed away the practice has skyrocketed in a quirky tribute to the departed actor. Although the artistic transformation does not invalidate the money, the Bank of Canada frowns upon defacing bank notes and points out that retailers may refuse to accept the currency. … Those cold hearted inhuman bankers.

Picture This

Nimoy studied photography at UCLA and was also a published poet.

Science, Baby

Mr. Spock was the USS Enterprise’s Second Officer / Science Officer and not the Baby And Child Care Officer.

11 Minutes

Funny Joke of the Day!

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window. The young man lowers his window. “Uh, yes, officer?” The cop says: “What are you doing?” The young man says: “Well Officer, I’m reading a magazine.” Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: “And her, what is she doing?” The young man shrugs: “Sir, I believe she’s knitting a pullover sweater.” Now, the cop is totally confused.. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a Lover’s lane… and nothing obscene is happening! The cop asks: “What’s your age, young man?” The young man says “I’m 22, sir.” The cop asks: “And her…what’s her age?” The young man looks at his watch and replies: “She’ll be 18 in 11 minutes.” Source

More Funny Jokes Here!

New Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

When it comes to the Great Minnesota Get-Together, most Minnesotans are chomping at the bit to know one thing…

What are the new foods at the MN State Fair this year?

The food vendors at the Minnesota State Fair are well-known across the state for the unique, delicious food they come up with every year at the huge outdoor event. When thousands of people are expecting a masterpiece of edible proportions, you have to give the masses what they want!

Here are the NEW Minnesota State Fair Foods for 2017!

 

Bacon Fluffernutter

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together Grilled cinnamon bun sandwich with a bacon, peanut butter and marshmallow cream filling. At The Sandwich Stop on the west side of Clough St. between Carnes & Judson avenues.          

Bacon Up Pup

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food A Belgian waffle served on-a-stick with bacon in the batter, dipped in chocolate, drizzled with maple syrup, and topped with whipped cream and bacon. At Granny’s Kitchen Fudge Puppies on the east side of Underwood St. between Dan Patch & Carnes avenues, outside the Food Building.      

Bowl O’ Dough

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Scoops of straight-up, raw cookie dough that is safe to eat and available in four flavors: • Brownie Batter Swirl: A chocolate chip cookie dough and brownie batter mash-up. • Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough (gluten-free): A mix of classic cookie dough and chocolate chips. • European Cookie Butter: Made with Biscoff® European spiced cookies. • Lemon Ricotta Cheesecake with Blueberries: Lemons, fresh curd ricotta cheesecake and blueberries blended into a sugar cookie dough. All served with a side of sea salt-flavored ice milk. At Blue Moon Dine-In Theater, located on the northeast corner of Carnes Ave. & Chambers St.

Breakfast Buddy Bowl

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Waffle bowl filled with hash browns, maple syrup, scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese and bacon, topped with a biscuit, country sausage gravy and green onions. At LuLu’s Public House at West End Market, south of the Schilling Amphitheater.        

Brown Ale and Onion-Gouda Tipsy Pie

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Onions caramelized in Lift Bridge Brewery’s Chestnut Hill Brown Ale with smoked Gouda cheese, baked in a pie crust, topped with an onion sugar and drizzled with a sweet beer glaze. At Sara’s Tipsy Pies in the Food Building, south wall.        

Cheesy Nacho Corn on the Cob

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Roasted corn on the cob lightly coated with crushed Dorito® corn chips and nacho cheese. At Texas Steak Out on the west side of Underwood St. between Lee & Randall avenues.          

Cherry Bombs

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Red licorice dipped in batter, deep-fried and dusted with powdered sugar. At Vegie Fries on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Underwood & Cooper streets          

Chocolate Popover with Peanut Butter Spread

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Hot out-of-the-oven chocolate popover with a side of peanut butter spread. At LuLu’s Public House at West End Market, south of the Schilling Amphitheater.          

Cranberry Wild Rice Meatballs

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Swedish-style meatballs with cranberries and wild rice blend covered with Lingonberry sauce. At Hamline Church Dining Hall on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Underwood & Cooper streets.        

Deep-Fried Avocado

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Avocado slices dipped in a lightly seasoned batter, deep-fried and served with chipotle ranch dipping sauce. At O’Gara’s at the Fair at the southwest corner of Dan Patch Ave. & Cosgrove St.          

Deviation Stout Steak Taco Naan

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Steak marinated in Modist Deviation 004 – Mexican Dark Chocolate Stout beer, grilled and topped with shredded lettuce, pico de gallo, queso fresco, cilantro lime and jalapeño ranch sauces, and wrapped in warm naan flatbread. At San Felipe Tacos in the Food Building, east wall.      

Double Dose of Pork Belly

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food 100% ground pork belly burger topped with crisp smoked pork belly, pepper jack cheese, coleslaw and pickled onions, served on a toasted bun. At RC’s BBQ on the north side of West Dan Patch Ave. between Liggett & Chambers streets.        

Duck Bacon Wontons

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Duck bacon, grilled sweet corn and cream cheese combined inside deep-fried crescent-shaped wontons and served with dipping sauce. At Giggles’ Campfire Grill at the southeast corner of Lee Ave. & Cooper St. at The North Woods.        

Fall Guy Breakfast Panini

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Capicola and scrambled egg topped with white cheddar on ciabatta. At The Hideaway Speakeasy in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section.          

Honey Puffs (Loukamades)

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Deep-fried dough balls crispy outside and sweet inside, tossed in a sweet syrup and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. At Dino’s Gyros on the north side of Carnes Ave. between Nelson & Underwood streets.          

Italian Bomba Sandwich

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Beer-braised pork shoulder with prosciutto cotto ham, fontina cheese, giardiniera (Italian relish) and aioli on a grilled ciabatta roll. At Mancini’s al Fresco on the north side of Carnes Ave. between Nelson & Underwood streets.          

Maple Cream Nitro Cold Press Coffee

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Locally sourced heavy cream and maple syrup in a cold brew coffee infused with nitrogen. At Farmers Union Coffee Shop on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Cooper & Cosgrove streets.          

Memphis Totchos

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Sliced bananas and sautéed bacon over tater tots, topped with peanut sauce. At Snack House in the Warner Coliseum, south concourse.            

Mini Sconuts

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Buttermilk scone holes filled with chocolate, marshmallow and Nutella®, deep-fried and topped with a dusting of powdered sugar. (Gluten-free) At French Meadow Bakery & Cafe on the north side of Carnes Ave. between Nelson & Underwood streets.        

Mobster’s Caviar

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Cream cheese dip with crab meat, green onions, fresh red pepper and water chestnuts, served with whole wheat flatbread crackers. At The Hideaway Speakeasy in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section.          

Pie’n the Sky Malt & Sundae

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food A sweet and tart mix of crunchy, spiced “airplane” cookies and lemon curd, topped with dark chocolate drizzle and served with vanilla ice cream as a sundae or malt. At Dairy Goodness Bar in the Dairy Building, south wall.        

Pizzarito

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Flour tortilla filled with pepperoni, Italian sausage, risotto, mozzarella and marinara, coated with garlic butter, parmesan and Italian spices, baked and served with a side of marinara. At Green Mill on the east side of Cooper St. between Randall & Wright avenues, at Family Fair at Baldwin Park.      

Slow-Roasted Pork Mole Tamale

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Fresh corn tamale with slow-roasted pork, mole coloradito sauce and black bean and pineapple relish. At Tejas Express in the Garden, north wall.
         

Sonoran Sausage: ONE.BAD.DOG

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Tex-Mex sausage stuffed with pepper jack cheese, wrapped in bacon, baked and served on a cornmeal-dusted bun with fresh corn salsa and a drizzle of avocado ranch sauce. At Sausage Sister & Me in the Food Building, east wall.        

Spicy Thai Noodles

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Rice noodles and red curry with coconut milk served with kaffir lime, basil leaves, bell peppers, galangal, onions and tomatoes. (Gluten-free) At Oodles of Noodles in the Food Building, east wall.          

Sweet Corn Blueberry Eclair

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Kernza® flour éclair filled with sweet corn pastry cream and topped with blueberry glaze. At Farmers Union Coffee Shop on the north side of Dan Patch Ave. between Cooper & Cosgrove streets.          

Sweety’s Churros

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Sweet potato, cinnamon and nutmeg kneaded into a traditional churro dough, deep-fried and served with a side of chocolate or maple-brown sugar sauce or whipped cream. At Potato Man and Sweety on the west side of Liggett St. between Carnes & Judson avenues.      

Swindler Sandwich

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Honey smoked salmon, cucumbers, capers and cream cheese with fresh dill on pumpernickel, served with sliced lemon garnish. At The Hideaway Speakeasy in the Veranda, Grandstand upper level, northwest section.        

Swine & Spuds

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Bacon-wrapped pork belly and mashed potato croquettes served on a skewer and topped with a choice of homestyle gravy, Korean Bulgogi barbeque sauce or sweet chili sauce. At Swine & Spuds in the Warner Coliseum, northeast corner.        

Triple Truffle Trotters

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Sliced peppers and bacon with black diamond truffle oil mayo on top of waffle fries. At The Blue Barn at West End Market, south of the History & Heritage Center.          

Wild Bill’s Breakfast Bake

Minnesota State Fair Food 2017

Minnesota State Fair Foods 2017, State Fair, MN State Fair, Minnesota Get Together, Delicious Food Scrambled eggs, roasted chicken and chorizo sausage baked and topped with salsa and a mix of lettuce, pickled red onions and cilantro. At The Blue Barn at West End Market, south of the History & Heritage Center.        

Which of these uniquely crafted MN State Fair foods are you dying to try this year?

Source. The Minnesota State Fair runs Aug. 24 – Sept. 3 2017.          

The Camel Lot Mystery

Even in medieval times people got the hump, never more than in the 13th century when Camel Lot was hit by the most severe plague of camels ever to befall the kingdoms. Can you help Merlin and The Knights Of The Round Table round up all the camels? How many camels can you see? If the answer is, “I see camels all the time.”, and you live in Chicago or Middlesborough, then delay your assistance until you’ve seen a doctor for some leaches. If you see camels all the time and your name is M. Night Shyamalan …. Don’t do it. Don’t make that movie. You had your chance. Camel lot

Most Searched For Beers In 2015

0
Most searched for beers in 2015 is probably some of the most important content you could find right now.

More importantly how many of these Beers have you tasted?

What was the most drank beer by your own consumption?

The Adventures Of Sheerluck Jolmes, Part 3: Shrimp & Smoke

Previously, on Sheerluck Jolmes:

Jolmes and Mustrade discovered the body of the head chef, and the waiter showed off his quick-change routine again and again. Jolmes requested alone time at the crime scene with the body and a glass onion, likely to focus his detecting skills in solitude.

Will Jolmes have enough shrimp to last the day? And how will the shrimp feel about it?

sheerluck jolmes, sherlock holmes, cartoon popovers

Come back next Saturday morning for the exciting continuation of the saga!

The Sheerluck Jolmes Series Part 1: An Indisposed Chef Part 2: Too Much Onion Part 3: Shrimp & Smoke Part 4: Takeout Blueberry Pancakes Part 5: Dancing Sea Monkeys Part 6: A Deadly Rotating Bow Tie

Roosevelt Who? Or The Call From A Facebook ‘Friend’

0

J.C. received the phone call from Roosevelt McCarter

around ten o’clock local time, midnight where Roosevelt lived. Why Roosevelt called even Roosevelt probably couldn’t tell you with any certainty or clarity. It was not an important call; as a matter of fact, it was a call that served no real purpose. It wasn’t even from someone J.C. would call a friend. Yes, he shared nineteen(19) mutual friends on Facebook with Roosevelt, but they weren’t “friends” or “following each other” on the social website.

Perhaps it was merely the fact that J.C. had decided

to publicly share his phone number on the ‘About’ page of his Facebook account. He didn’t recognize the phone number that appeared on the screen of his cell phone so he let the call go to voice mail. Curious who would be calling him from an area code near where he came from in the Midwest, J.C. decided to listen to the message. He didn’t recognize the name and couldn’t figure out why the person was calling him. Curiosity again got the better of him, and he did the unthinkable, he called the number back. He spoke with Roosevelt for about ten minutes, listening to the stranger’s rambling, disorganized words without comprehending exactly what the stranger wanted and why. From time to time, he interrupted Roosevelt’s monologue(diatribe?) to ask questions.  

He didn’t get any real answers,

but it felt good to him to ask questions as more of a mental self-defense strategy than in hopes of learning anything. For J.C., it was all very confusing but a fitting way to end this particularly weird Wednesday in Sacramento. But that is another story for another day.    

5 Things That Should Be Scratch & Sniff

I know some headache sufferers growl at the idea of random smells jumping out at them from random places like the hands of smiley salespeople at their friendly department store. I’m bored so I have decided to offer the simple fix to that problem. I think there should be legislation pushing for more scratch & sniff in the world. Just like juicy monkey pickles, these cards stay wrapped up in their own little world until you monkey around with them. On that wise, I was thinking about 5 things that I think should be scratch & sniff. Maybe if we share these on social media someone will get to work on whipping them out in mass.

1. A Classic Book

I can just smell it now; imagine curling up on your favorite hard wood floor with a salty tart and your favorite scratch & smell classic. Here are some suggested readings. First up, why not try JRR Tolkein’s, “The Hobbit” in full odor-o-rama smell. I’ve got a few ideas about how the Orks might turn your stomach. Orwell’s “Animal Farm” would be another great one or how about my favorite in the bunch, Roald Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” oh yeah, bring that one on!

2. Wall Paper

Can’t you just see yourself waking each morning to a wall full of flavorful fruit? How about something like a wall papered room featuring fruit trees that you can scratch & smell anytime you like? That would be way cool, especially for jungle-sick kids and other squirrel ninjas who enjoy climbing.

3. Your Favorite Cook book

This is my best idea yet! I mean just think of it, you’re at home, bored out of your mind and you are starving. If you had a scratch & sniff cookbook you could pull it off the shelf and have a full course sniff meal without lifting a finger—your stomach won’t even have a clue for about 10 minutes. If you are still hungry try to smell a little more the next time.

4. Your Debit Card

Most of us never really see and feel real dollars and cents anymore: for the most part we have gone cashless. So wouldn’t it be cool if your debit card could have the smell of a brand new 100 dollar bill? It’s rarely all about the Benjamins anymore, but a girl can dream about the green.

5. Fake Flowers

Some folks are just determined to play with and decorate using fake flowers. Random thought here—would if help if they were scratch & sniff? I think it just might. This would work really well for the frugal Casanova who wants to splurge on a bright yellow bouquet of FAKE daffodils. All his boo will have to do is give them a good scratch and bam—she can enjoy their lovely, aromatic, and sprayed on goodness. Scratching and sniffing is big fun as long as the laugh is not on you. As I think about it there are a whole lot of things I’d enjoy sniffing; but then again, I’m not like other people, I like wearing red leather jackets with zippers too.

What’s Something You Do Strangely Well With Your Non-Dominant Hand?

0
Most people today are right-handed, but whether you’re a righty or a lefty, you probably use your other hand for plenty of things, too.

What’s something you do better with your non-dominant hand than with your dominant hand?