Loving It
Do you have today off of work?
For June 12 is Loving Day
National Month Of Broken Promises
Ryan Seacrest’s ball just dropped.
You steal a kiss from someone, take a drink of whatever alcohol is handy and then you say, This year, I am going to …- Lose a hundred pounds?
- Quit smoking?
- Go back to school?
- Take up fencing?
- Learn to speak Arabic?
- Marry Halle Berry?
Of course by the end of January you have gained fifty pounds.
You drove past the school but have never gone in it. You ended up slicing off your big toe off with the sword and quite swordplay. You tried speaking some Arabic at work and the jerk at work turned you into Homeland Security. Then you got put in jail for stalking Halle Berry. To top it all off you already bought your third carton of Camels just to calm your nerves. All your resolutions and promises, broken. Just like your front window when Homeland Security busted in and arrested you. Arrested twice in one month. 2014 is not off to a good start.Just my opinion, but instead of making promises
for an ENTIRE YEAR that we know we won’t keep or at the very least will slip up on some time. Only to make ourselves feel like miserable, lousy failures. Why can’t we make resolutions by the month. This month I resolve to quit cursing so often. For the month of March, I resolve to not leave the toilet seat up and let my wife go buttocks diving in the middle of the night. Things like that. Simple things for a short period of time. If you make it to the end of the twenty eight to thirty one days, you could possibly beat an annoying habit. If not then try again the next month or try to do something else. This way, one is not struggling with one or more difficult promises to keep for an entire year.Drunk As A Skunk Or Sly As A Fox?
Minutes earlier, he had crossed the downtown street,
walking carefully not only because he was obviously drunk at seven in the morning but also so he didn’t drop his precious cargo in the plain brown paper bag. He made it to the safety of the bus shelter bench and sat down for a moment to gather his thoughts. The man was not alone for long. He was soon joined by a woman, not so obviously drunk, but someone who had seen many years of steady drinking. At least that how it looked to the observer watching her approach the bench and sit down next to her friend. They talked in loud, drink-slurred voices for a few minutes. They hardly let the passing back and forth of the bag and taking drinks from the container in it cause an interruption to their conversation. It was a chilly winter’s morning in the California capital(only about 40 degrees), and the two people on the bench tried to draw warmth from the conversation and the drinking.A public transportation bus pulled up to their location.
The front and back doors opened to allow the arriving passengers to exit through the rear and new passengers to board at the front. The bus was a few minutes ahead of schedule so the driver left the doors open until it was time to leave. The man saw the open rear door of the bus and whispered something to the woman. She shook her head and nodded her head towards the front of the bus where the driver sat. The man chuckled under his breath and urgently whispered again into the woman’s ear. She shook her head again. The man shrugged his shoulders and, not so unsteadily, got to his feet. He looked quickly towards the front of the bus to make sure the driver wasn’t looking. Quick as a flash and to the amazement of other commuters and passersby, the man entered the bus through the open rear doors and took a seat inside. He looked around nonchalantly, like he had every reason to be innocently on the bus.His friend on the bench and everyone else who had witnessed the events watched in awe as the bus doors closed,
and the bus pulled away. It moved about ten feet down the road when it came to a sudden stop and the doors open. Onlookers could see the driver get out of her seat and walk to the back of the bus where the man sat. Through the windows of the bus, the drama was on full display to everyone on the street. The bus driver and the man having an animated conversation. The bus driver pointing an accusatory finger at the man. The man pleading innocence. After five minutes of this back-and-forth bus drama, the man stood up and walked off the bus. He returned to the bus shelter bench and sat back down. He and his lady friend went back to their conversation and their drinking. The bus doors closed, and it pulled away with its legitimate passengers on board.A Professor, a CEO, and a Janitor Are In a Forest When They Discover a Magic Fairy
Funny Joke of the Day
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy. The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.” The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up. The CEO says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze” so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up. The janitor says “I’ll be an artist” so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever. The janitor says “I got a masters degree in art.” Joke SourceDo’s and Don’ts of Blogging
DO Constantly Ask Your Friends and Family If They’ve Seen Your Latest Post
When it comes to blogging, you definitely want to constantly ask your family and friends if they’ve seen your latest post. After all, family members and friends are your biggest fans, so they will always be more than happy to read your blog posts. No matter how insignificant or lackluster a blog post of yours is, don’t be afraid to share it with your loved ones. In fact, continue to pester your loved ones about your latest post until they get around to actually reading it. The truth is if you want to grow your audience for your blog, the best place to start is with your loved ones. If you have a few family members and 10 or so friends, you can expect to tack on at least a dozen or so views if you pester your loved ones to read all your posts. Every little bit counts and it’s always best to start small. Once you’ve convinced your loved ones to read your blog on a regular basis, you should move on to the next step, which is befriending new people for the purpose of gaining new readers for your audience. If your family members and friends attempt to offer constructive criticism, don’t even think about actually heeding it. Your loved ones should be your biggest fans rather than your biggest critics.DON’T Write About Boring Things Like Your Family Or Cooking
Now, if you want to have a popular blog, it is important that you write posts about an interesting topic. This brings us to one of the major “Don’ts” of blogging. No matter what you do, avoid writing about boring things like your family or cooking. Believe it or not, absolutely no one wants to read about your award-winning recipes or your adventures with family. Not even your family will want to read about themselves. Instead, you want to blog about out-of-this-world things that no one will be able to relate to on any level. The more outlandish a blog post of yours is, the more views and readers you can expect to get.DO Write About Topics You Know Nothing About
Another surefire way you can grow your audience of readers for your blog is by writing about topics you know nothing about. If you read the advice of more than a few blogging gurus, chances are you’ve come across the idea that bloggers should always strive to present a new perspective or idea on an old topic to readers. Undoubtedly, the best way you can do this is by writing about topics you know nothing about. While every other blogger will be writing about their perspectives and ideas derived from their knowledge or experience, you can simply come up with a fresh and brand new perspective out of thin air by making it up completely. If you’re afraid your readers won’t see you as credible because you don’t know anything about the topics you’re writing about, don’t worry. Your readers won’t care at all.DON’T Write Short and Concise Blog Posts
A common mistake that bloggers make is writing short and concise blog posts. Making such a mistake will cause your blog to fail, guaranteed. Instead, you should strive to write blog posts that are long and winding. Nowadays, the vast majority of readers have long attention spans, so you can be certain that they will thank you when you bless them with blog posts that resemble a novel more than actual blog post. In fact, the Internet has caused the average attention span to be longer than it was just a few decades ago. If you strive to write the longest blog posts known to man, you can be certain that your readers will love you for it. As a rule of thumb, a blog post should be no shorter than 10,000 words.A Man Dies And Ends Up In Hell – Funny Joke of the Day
Funny Joke of the Day
A man dies and ends up in hell. Satan shows up and walks him down a hallway, explaining that he would choose his torment from a selection of doors. The first door opens up onto a vast expanse and millions of people standing on their heads on concrete. This doesn’t have much appeal so the man moves to the next door. There he finds a similar scene but everyone is on their heads on rough hewn wooden floors. The man moved on as that looked worse. The third door revealed a vast chasm with far fewer people, all of whom are knee deep in sh#t drinking coffee. The man thinks to himself that he could get used to the smell and hey, free coffee, so he chooses that door. He gets settled in with his cup and his personal plot of shit and starts to relax a bit, when suddenly an inhuman voice booms through the area, “Alright everyone, break’s over, back on your heads!” Funny Joke SourceMore Funny Jokes!
10 Funny Words That Start With M
1. Madwoman
A madwoman is a crazy old bat. But the magic of this word is that you can instantly turn any female into a madwoman just by calling her one. Just say “You’re a madwoman!” and watch the sparks fly!2. Maestro
A maestro is an eminent composer or teacher of music. Technically, your kid’s school music teacher could be a maestro, but from the way they were plunking those piano keys at the last music recital … probably not.3. Maledict
This means to put a curse on someone. Be a good witch and don’t do it. Remember … karma.4. Moronic
I was wondering. Can you be a smart person and still do moronic things? Or can morons only do truly moronic things? Maybe smart people can just do regular dumb things? Or is this a case of “When geniuses act like morons”? Either way, it would probably be better to be called a dumb person than a moron. Moron just sounds stupider.5. Muffin Top
This is such a mean word. You take a muffin, and you know the top is the most delicious part. I mean, a whole Seinfeld episode was dedicated to muffin tops. But all of a sudden it’s an insult simply because some women wear jeans with too-tight waistbands and their middle bulges out. Yes, it’s an eyesore. But can’t we call it a muffin puffin? That would be soooo much nicer.6. Munchies
Residents of Colorado and several other states know exactly what this is, because marijuana is legalized and they can smoke pot. This causes the munchies. The rest of us only know about the munchies from reading about it, because pot’s not legal in our states, so how would we know?7. Mmmm
What you can politely say without opening your mouth when you chew.8. Mazy
This is an actual word that means something having lots of twists and turns, like a maze. So the next time your little toddler says something is “mazy,” don’t correct her, because it’s a real word. So there.9. Mane
You can substitute this word for “hair” if you really want to elevate your compliment about somebody’s locks. “Wow, you have a glorious mane!” If they reply, “A main what?” Then you can say, “Main head of hair.” Because in that case, they had no idea what you were talking about, so you have to talk down to them.10. Massive
Massive is one in a chain of words to describe something big. It goes like this: large, big, huge, gigantic, massive, gargantuan. See? Massive is almost at the top of the list, but not quite. Be really careful how you use it, because if you describe something as being massive when it’s really just big, you look like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Kind of like that moronic “mane” girl with the muffin puffin.Lick a Puffer Fish with Zoku Fish Pop Molds
Features
- SIX UNIQUE DESIGNS: 6 different molds create a variety of under-the-sea creatures including a shark, clownfish, octopus, whale, puffer fish, and a ZOKU scuba diver; about 1.1-1.6-fluid ounces each
- EASY TO USE DESIGN: Silicone molds easily release your pops from the polypropylene base, no inverting required; simply pull out your fish pop and enjoy; no need to run under warm water; each mold includes a stick with drip guard for mess-free enjoyment
- GREAT FAMILY ACTIVITY: Mess-free fun for kids and adults alike; create unique and healthy treats with fresh fruit and juice, or decadent desserts; perfect for families, parties, an after-school snack, or as an addition to the other ZOKU character pop shapes
- MIX AND MATCH: Try out different combinations of molds and tails for fun and surprising results; uncover amusing skeletons of the sea creatures as the pops are eaten
- BPA-FREE AND PHTHALATE FREE: Simple to clean with warm water and soap; do not wash in dishwasher; clean with mild soap and water; designed in the USA
Kylie Jenner’s Big Lip O’ Suction Challenge
5 Cool Gifts for The Doors Fans
The Doors were active from 1965 to 1973, a short eight year run, but quickly became one of the most influential bands of the counterculture era and a largely controversial band due to Jim Morrison’s erratic behavior. Morrison took the band’s name from Aldous Huxley’s book on mescaline, The Doors of Perception, which in turn referred to a line in a poem by William Blake. The Doors were perhaps one of the most unconventional Los Angeles bands of the 1960s because they didn’t fit into the surf-music scene or the folk-rock craze. Influenced more by jazz than folk music, it was a hard-edged band, led by Morrison’s vocals and Manzarek’s soaring organ riffs. The Doors had 48.2 Million in certified sales.
YOMIA Tin Signs for Rock Band Posters Vintage Wall Decor for Cafe Bar Pub Decor 8 X 12 inches
Features
- . Material: Tin/Metal
- . Size: 8x12 Inch(20cmx30cm)
- . 4 Holes for easy mounting, has drilled holes for hanging
- . Each metal sign has four pre-drilled holes at the corners for easy mounting on your walls. Please note that this set does not include screws
- . Classic vintage decor,these retro collectible tin signs are a fun and attractive decoration for your home, office, bar, restaurant, dorm, man cave or garage
Pyramid America The Doors Live at Hollywood Bowl Jim Morrison Classic Rock Music Band Retro Vintage Cool Wall Decor Art Print Poster 24x36
Features
Part Number | 894490 |
Color | Poster |
Size | Large |
The Lords and the New Creatures
$11.39 in stock
57 used from $1.48
Features
- 1971 Original Touchstone. wraps
Features
- silent sweeping clock hands
- 100% real re-purposed vinyl records
- conversation starter
- unique art/gift
- small USA based company - owned, operated and made
Jasongamo Jim Morrison The Doors T Shirt Men's Cotton Crew Neck Comfort Short Sleeve Graphic Tees Black (Large)
Features
Color | Black |
Is Adult Product | |
Size | Large |