The Job Interview
Funny Joke of the Day!
Two years ago, I applied for a job at a major company. They called me in for an interview with the board of directors, and it went pretty well. The next day I got a call… it was the vice president on the line! “Listen, sir”, he told me, “you left me very impressed yesterday. But we’re still left with another candidate with very similar education and work background, impressive interview… it’s practically a tie between you two. So, the Board of Directors has decided to have you both come in to answer a ten question test about our company. Whoever gets the higher score will get the job”. So the next morning I went to the his office. The other candidate was there – he looked really too smart. So we were told to sit down at two desks, side by side, and were given the test. After we finished the test, the vice president calls me back into his office. “Listen… we’ve scored the tests. You both got nine out of ten, and both missed question #5. But unfortunately we’re going to have to pick the other guy.” “What? Why?” I asked, shocked. “But we got the same question wrong!” “Yes,” he answered, “but it had more to do with your answers to #5. The other candidate answered, ‘I don’t know’, and you answered ‘Neither do I’.” SourceMore Funny Jokes Here!
How to Play Chinese Checkers
If you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost your marbles, chances are you may actually be able to find them in a game of Chinese checkers. Or, depending on how the game goes, you might actually end up losing even more marbles. But what a way to lose them, right?
You may think that you know everything there is to know about this fantastical game, but there is so much more to Chinese checkers than meets the eye.How to Play Chinese Checkers – History and Background of the Game
Fun fact: Chinese checkers is not checkers. If you’ve ever played both games, you’ve probably noticed that even though there are similarities between the two, the game boards and pieces are completely different. There is a chance that you may not have noticed this, but that’s a problem to be sorted out between you and your optometrist and has nothing to do with understanding this game. Another fun fact: Chinese checkers is not Chinese. It did not originate in China or any other area on the Asian continent, for that matter. It was actually invented in Germany of all places. In 1892, it was created and given the name “Stern-Halma.” There was already an American game that went by the name of Halma that employed a square shaped board, and “Stern” is German for “star,” which not so coincidentally is the shape of the board used in this game. Of course, as is the case in so many situations, marketing ended up playing a role in how this game is known. The name “Chinese Checkers” came to be associated with this game in the United States, another country that is not China. Bill and Jack Pressman came up with this name as part of their marketing plan for the game in 1928. In fact, had they had their way, this game would now be known as “Hop Ching Checkers.” And after all that, the Chinese were among the last to actually play their namesake game when the Japanese introduced it to them.How to Play Chinese Checkers – Game Setup
It is actually quite easy to set up this game. All you really need is the game board and the marbles that come with it. The board comes with six sets of 10 marbles. Usually, they are separated by color, but if you so choose, you can replace the sets of marbles with your own marbles. Perhaps you would like them to be separated by what type of insect can be seen on the inside, or which type of cute fuzzy animal is depicted on the tiny little photo trapped inside the marble. It’s up to you what types of zany marbles are used in your run-throughs of this game. After each player has chosen a color (or other distinctive characteristic of a set of marbles that may apply here), you will all put your set of marbles into a corner of the board. The goal of each person in the game will be to get all of his or her marbles into the opposite corner, otherwise known as ‘home,’ before anyone else does. What you should remember, however, is that you need to have an appropriate number of players in order for the game to work. Since the objective of the game is to get all of your marbles to the other side of the board, it really wouldn’t be that much fun if you only had one person. You will need two, three, four, or six people in order to play this game the way it was meant to be played. Plus, if you only have one person, you’ll miss out on the best part – fighting with other players after someone else has made a wrong move. You can always fight with yourself, but where’s the fun in that?How to Play Chinese Checkers – Game Strategies
Oftentimes, the strategy will depend on how many players are a part of the game. If you have six players, for example, all six corners of the star will be filled at the beginning, and you will be able to move your marbles into ‘home’ only after it has been vacated by your opponent. Basically, you get all your marbles across the board by doing the following with each turn – either moving them into an adjacent space or hopping over one of your opponents’ marbles. But it’s not as simple as it seems. A big part of winning is being able to hinder your opponents as well. You want to make it hard for them to get into their home corners. You can do this by moving your own marbles in such a way that they create bridges that will force your opponents to take longer paths. Or if you want to play dirty, of course you can try to impede your opponents’ concentration by other means, such as the “look, a bird!” tactic or spiking their water with tequila so their brain capacities will hopefully be diminished. Of course, you can also employ the time-honored strategy of shoving all your opponents’ marbles off the board and onto the floor, but you should be warned that you are likely to lose a lot of friends if you do this on a regular basis.How to Play Chinese Checkers – Variations of the Game
There are few different variations of this game for those who want to try something new once in awhile. Here are a couple of the most popular ones:Fast-paced or Super Chinese Checkers
In this version of the game, players can hop not only over pieces in adjacent spaces but any piece anywhere on the board. You basically just hop over the piece of your choosing and end up at the equidistant position on the other side.Capture Chinese Checkers
In this version of the game, players are not assigned a specific color of marble. Players just take turns hopping over other game pieces and “capturing” the poor hopped-over pieces in their bins. If you are playing the capture version of Chinese checkers, you’re only allowed to move by jumping over other pieces, not by simply moving pieces to adjacent spaces. When it is no longer possible to jump over other pieces, whoever has the most captured pieces is the winner. Of course, you can make up your own variations of the game too. The limits go as far as your creativity does when it comes to variations of this super-fun game! Here is a quick visual tutorial for How To Play Chinese Checkers:Chinese Checker Boards and Accessories:
How To Play Bridge
Bridge has always brought together friends for an exciting night in together. It is challenging and requires concentration to win at the card game. Older crowds may instantly recognize the game, but younger people could use a primer. Learn how to play bridge and win during each deal. A typical game will include 4 players sitting on opposite ends of a table. That will allow the dealer to hand out cards to each individual player as needed. Players may form a partnership based on the direction in which they are sitting. In a standard game of Bridge, the partnership is North-South and East-West during the contest. Each game will typically feature three distinct phases: auction, play and scoring. Master each phase and try to negotiate the best hand possible. That could give a player the inside track and help them win out at the end. Advanced players may look for Bridge in a casino or club setting. Take the opportunity to introduce yourself and chat with other players. Many friends enjoy the partnership aspect of the game and even depend on one another. Players who score the highest are deemed the winner at the end of the Bridge game.
Look At The Hand And Bid
A hand may be noted by a specific suit, which should be familiar to card players. Aces, Spades, Hearts and Clubs are all valuable if they are a high card. Try to arrange cards in pairs or greater hands for higher point totals. Communicate with the partner to get a better overall bid when possible. When each player has drawn their cards, they may have up to 13 cards in hand. That will give them plenty of cards to form pairs or greater matches. Players will get their turn to bid and play as the game moves around the table. Turns will be assigned one player at a time until complete. Each player will take a turn in a clockwise fashion until their hand is done. Players may end their turn by saying the phrase “pass”. In a partnership, one player is assigned the role of a “declare” during bids. The other player will fill in the role of a “dummy” during the same bid. Stay competitive by trying to fulfill a contract assigned during the deal phase. Winning tricks played should go towards fulfilling that contract at the end of the game.The Goal Of Playing Bridge
Bridge is effectively won by the player with the best hand. Try to play as many tricks as possible to score big points. Tricks will be scored according to the high value cards (HVC) and their relationship in a pair. A pair or better will be required during each scored play. Keep track of the tricks played with a particular hand. The high value card could come in handy for a player with the winning total. Compete with other people at the table and earn bragging rights as well. Develop a strategy and get to know how bridge is really won or lost. Those strategies and subtle tricks could give players the inside track. It could even elevate a player to casino standings if they are good enough. Remember that each player at the table will need to take a turn where they deal the cards. Be ready to assign points and keep track of the total. Bridge was designed to be a friendly match and will test the smarts of everyone involved. Follow suit if the right cards are in hand. But players can also opt to take a trump suit if they are missing a card.Bridge Roles And Guidelines
Players need to be ready to take on roles in a match. Bridge requires that someone has to deal and score points. Other players will be the declarer or the dummy if they positioned right. Get started by dealing out 13 cards successively to all 4 players at the table. Make sure to deal out the cards face down by going around the table. A variant known as Chicago bridge will limit the deals to just 4 per game. Rubber and duplicate Bridge will have players deal unlimited cards to one another. Remember that high card value will determine the points that players receive. As expected, Ace and King cards have the highest value. Queen and Jacks will round out the face cards with the higher value. All other cards need to be paired well during a bid to receive decent points. Each bidding session ends when all players perform a trick and then say “pass”. That will initiate the next round of plays for the dealer to consider. The dealer will have the first chance to bid during a game. Turns will then proceed in a clockwise fashion until everyone has played.Variants And Bonus Levels
Trump and no-trump Bridge are fairly common variants to expect. Players may commit to a style of play from the start. Be warned that a variant could change the way that cards are dealt or scored. Be ready and adjust a play style to adapt accordingly to the experience. Savvy players can adapt to the variant and even place a bet whenever possible. Tricks may be noted with a trump move by the player. The trump could be higher valued than all the other cards in a given suit. That could give a player a high scoring bid and enough points to win the match outright. Bonus levels may include a concept called slam. Collect all cards of a kind across each suit to make a slam. Form a partnership with the opposite player for even more points. Scores up to 37 or 33 are common with the slam level. A grand slam may be noted using a trump card during the play. Other bonus levels include the games, which challenge players to show a trick. A series of tricks may be awarded additional points per contest. Commit to making the tricks and get rewarded with points.How To Play Bridge Video
Procrastination, ’tis The Season: Top Five Tech Gifts
There’s about a week left before Santa comes riding into town…sheesh time flies. I’ve been lucky enough this year to be in Florida for the Holidays. And yes, I’ve been busy enjoying palm trees and 80 degree days so please forgive me if I completely mistimed Christmas.
Or maybe I have “purposely sub-conscienceless-ly” put it out of my mind to skip out on all that Christmas shopping. You know with Black Friday craziness, the crowds and all those lovely customer service folks.But here were are a week away and I’m not about to Grinch the season. I love Christmas and family time. So I’ve put together a top five list of some techy gifts that you can get online RIGHT now and still get them by the 24th. (hopefully)
5. For the kids or that old school gamer in the family: The Nintendo Wii-U. Its the Wii all grown up with HD graphics and a tablet that you can use as a second screen while jiggle jagglin’ your wii-mote. Starts at $299, but the black Deluxe Wii-U ($349) version comes with a couple of cool games that are worth the extra $50 You’re talking Mario and Zelda in brand new HD adventures, how can you go wrong.
4. For the pre-teens that have everything: The new iPod Touch (starts at $199). Basically its an iphone 5 without the cellular service. BUT that means its still awesome. Hundreds of thousands of apps and games that will keep any brat busy for hours on end. And that means peace and quite for you parents. Give them an iTunes gift card to go along with it as well.
3. For rocking out, wirelessly. Face it just about everyone has a smartphone or a ipod, or some device that has bluetooth connectivity. And everyone loves music, right? So time to get your favorite audiophile a Jawbone Jambox Its a small speaker with built in bluetooth that actually sounds pretty amazing for its size. It comes in a variety of colors and it looks pretty amazing. ($199)
2. A dedicated e-reader for that special bookworm of yours. These devices are getting dirt cheap, they range from as low as $49 to about $249 depending on your make and model. Personally I believe the Kindle Paper White is the best of its class with its high contrast backlit screen. Super light and portable and easily readable outdoors.
1. The number one gift for this holiday season is a tablet. Basically take all the above gifts and combine them into a small, portable and versatile device and you have a tablet. It can be used by a parent to read their favourite books, teens to play games on, and kids can watch someone like kls learning on it. A win-win-win! Lots of good choices too this year but I have to say the three most giftable would be: The Kindle Fire HD, the Nexus 7 and the iPad mini. All are great devices and each has its own characteristics that differentiate from one another. The Kindle Fire would be the most kid friendly, the Google Nexus 7 would be a great gift for those not wanting an Apple product and if they do then iPad mini is…well amazing
There you have it. My top techie gifts for 2012 that will make your nerdy loved ones super happy. For more gadget gifts, especially cool gifts for men, you could look at the Coolest Gadgets gift guide! If they love gadgets, they might already have everything on this list. Happy shopping! Great for SO NOW get on Amazon, Best Buy or New Egg’s websites and start ordering quickly!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Monkey Pickles Goofballs!
Join the Monkey Pickles Mash Potatoes Club Can We Talk? Small Costs Of College
I would love to know who decided to make a code for mathematics online class $154
when we college students are already paying around $250 per class session, per semester. It’s like putting paying for extra class! We pay around seven to eight thousand dollars a semester to attend this beautiful university. It is already hard to pay for it, but let’s talk about how we pay for our text books.Could someone tell to me who is holding the pistol to the book sellers heads,
telling them to “make this paperback astronomy text-book $124″. Some of you may be thinking, “Well, you can always rent.” This is true, however, renting policies are getting stricter and stricter, “oh you can always post-it notes” parents will say. Oh yeah, I’ll end up buying $50 worth of post-it notes and rent the book for $78, that brings me back to the $120 for the book (plus eight bucks), which makes me think I should have just bought the book, wrote in it, and sold it back. Then I get $78 for it. Yes, that is the way it works.
Could someone explain to me why to get a math code, for the online part of the class,
costs half the as much as it costs to take the course itself? Why a paper back communications book cost $130 with a $5 fee (WTF?) An astronomy book is $124 A math code is about 134 Can someone tell me, who decided to charge students twice as much for food on campus? A 5 ounce bottle of Ny-Quill (or another medicines), $8+ (if you want to go to health services, they’ll charge you 25-$50 on top of what they are charging your insurance company to diagnose you incorrectly) A 4 pack of mechanical pencils, $5 Generic shampoo $5+ Water 3+It may seem useless complaining about how expensive these items are,
but it isn’t useless when you are clearly being overcharged for an $8 bottle of NY-quill that you can buy for $3 at a Wal-Mart. The world is an ocean, and college students are at the very bottom, we are bottom feeders. We are the things that suck on the glass on a fish tank. Free Ramen, yes please. Free t-shirt, hell yeah! Coupon book, I just hit the fucking jack pot. A lot of students pay for their text books by picking up a job on campus, most jobs on campus are working at fast food places where you aren’t supposed to work more than 20 hours a week, yet the companies have students working 40.In college, your parents want to teach you responsibility,
they want you to be on your own and see the world for what it is. The simple fact that we, students, are trying to better our lives by getting an education is wonderful. However the undercurrent is what drowns most. A Major undercurrent in college are the fees that some students don’t think of. Getting sick, getting hurt, accidentally ordering the wrong book and not knowing you aren’t going to get your money back, how many sticky notes, index card and pens you’ll go though in a week, chap Sticky, batteries, dry erase markers and a play you must attend. When you go, or if you go to college, make sure you keep an extra five hundred in your bank account, anything can happen and you will be scraping up quarters for laundry if you aren’t ready. College students are constantly on the struggle bus, we just wanna get off. Next stop please.
Anthony Just Finished A New Book Titled ‘How To Be The Man Of The House’
Funny Joke Of The Day
Anthony had just finished reading a new book entitled “How To Be The Man of Your House.” Inspired, he stormed into the kitchen where his wife was and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law. You’ll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you’ll serve me a sumptuous dessert.” “After dinner, we’re going upstairs and we’ll have the kind of sex that I want. Afterward, you’re going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You’ll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you’ll massage my feet and hands as I drift off to sleep.” He paused for a minute, then continued. “And tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?” His wife didn’t even look up from what she was working on and replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!
(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)385 Days In A Year – Why Not?
There should be 385 days in a year because 365 days of watching kittens do cute things on YouTube videos just isn’t enough. Think of it, 20 more naps, 20 more mornings for a chai latte, 20 more lunches with friends – wait, what, you don’t live in a fantasy world created by a writer who tends to romanticize? Oh, so then it’s 20 more mornings to hit the snooze alarm, 20 more chances to get chewed out by the boss, or 20 more days to change diapers and cook dinner. Well, that doesn’t sound like much fun. I like my world better!
Maybe it depends on how those 20 days fit into the year – would they just be tacked on at the end making December one super-long month? Imagine celebrating New Year’s Eve on December 51st. That would completely screw up winter breaks from school. I mean, you couldn’t have the kids home for six weeks in the middle of the school year, especially not in the winter when you can’t always send them outside to play. Plus, they’d forget half of what they already learned. No, Super December would be a disaster for our educational system. Nix that.
Twenty extra days of summer vacation seems like a great idea until you really start to think about the implications. All the addition warm weather would probably be bad for global warming and the last thing the polar bears need is three more weeks of summer. Super Summer could be great for sales of sun block and floppy hats though. When’s the last time anyone did something nice for the floppy hat industry? My guess is never. But then all those people who don’t wear sun block or floppy hats would complain about the long summers giving them skin cancer and wrinkles. And again there’s the issue of kids getting dumb during extended breaks from school. Farewell Super Summer, we hardly knew ye.
I can see there’s no point in even discussing Super Fall or Super Spring with you. How will the trees cope with all that extra autumn after they’ve dropped their leaves you’ll ask? And I suppose there’s some sort of daffodil crisis pending if we stick those extra 20 days in spring.
I’m beginning to get the feeling you don’t even want to super size the year. You know I used to think a year was a long time, but now 365 days just doesn’t seem like enough. Work with me
OK, I’ve got it. We spread the extra days throughout the year and create 10 four-day weekends. Three in spring, three in fall, two in winter and two in summer. Spring and fall get extra because there’s already a lot of holiday/vacation stuff happening in summer and winter. If you live in the Southern hemisphere feel free to switch it up.
Alright, now that that’s settled we can get back to imagining all the fun things we can do with the extra time.
Top 10 List
Ten: Think about going to the gym
Nine: Sit on the couch and dream about how I’d spend my lottery winnings
Eight: Plan exotic vacations on the Internet
Seven: Words with Friends!
Six: Searching for free books worth reading on my eReader
Five: Avoiding the people trying to get me to sign political petitions in front of Walmart
Four: Creating funny photos on Zazzle to post on Monkey Pickles
Three: Complaining about Mondays
Two: Complaining about all these darn extra-long weekends
And the number one thing I would do with twenty extra days in the year (drum roll please)
Twenty more desserts!
I agree, maybe it’s not the most ambitious list of accomplishments, but hey I’m the genius who figured out where to stick all those extra days. I’m tired.
Join the Monkey Pickles Mash Potatoes ClubAnd Elderly Couple Dies In A Plane Crash…
Funny Joke of the Day!
An 85 year old couple is going on holiday, when they suddenly die in a plane crash. They had been married for 60 years, and kept in good health due to their healthy diet and regular exercise. When they reached heaven, St. Peter took them to their mansion, decked out with a fully stocked kitchen, master bath suite, and their very own jacuzzi. As his wife ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ at their new possessions, the old man asked Peter how much all of this was going to cost. “It’s all free,” Peter replied. “We are in heaven, after all.” Next they surveyed the lush championship golf course behind their home, where they were entitled to play everyday. Of course, all the old man wanted to know, was: “How much are the green fees?” “It’s free!” came the reply. Next, they went to the club house, and saw the lavish buffet on offer, with all of the world’s different cuisines on offer, every meal cooked to perfection. “How much do we have to pay for two?” asked the old man. “Don’t you understand, yet?!” Peter replied, exasperated. “It’s all free, you’re in heaven!” “Well, where are the low fat and cholesterol tables then? The food won’t have too many calories, will it?” the old man asked, looking quite worried. “That’s the best part of heaven,” Saint Peter said, excitedly. “You can eat as much of whatever you want, and you won’t gain a single gram!” With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it wildly. His wife and Peter tried to calm him down, asking what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife. “This is all your fault!” he screamed! “If it weren’t for you and your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!” SourceOn The First Day, God Created The Dog And Said…
Funny Joke Of The Day
On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years.” The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I’ll give you back the other 10?” So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a 20-year life span.” The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?” And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.” The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I’ll give back the other 40?” And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.” But the human said, “Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back? That makes 80, okay?” “Okay,” said God. “You asked for it.” So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you.Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!
(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)A Close Encouter Of The Starbucks Kind
He was sitting at his usual spot at the long table in the Starbucks near his office. He went about his usual routine—setting the grande dark roast with whole milk and a good tablespoon of sugar to the left of his laptop along with the paper sack containing his usual microwaved Artisan Ham breakfast sandwich. He then accessed Starbucks free WiFi and went online. He went through his emails from overnight, checked his Facebook and Twitter accounts, and finally started catching up on the latest news and sports(Drudge Report and ESPN).
He had paused his internet travels to take a sip of coffee and a bite of his sandwich when he first noticed her. She saw him glance in her direction and smiled politely. He smiled back. She sat down at the opposite end of the table and started glancing through a magazine. She sipped her coffee and looked up briefly from her reading on several occasions to look at him. For his part, he returned to surfing the net, taking the time to also look in her direction every few minutes.
After about a half an hour of furtive glances in each others direction, she got up from her seat and moved down the table. She sat down opposite the man.
“Can you do me a favor?” she asked in a soft whisper.
The man looked up. “What sort of favor?” he said.
“I was reading an article on dating and wanted a man’s opinion on something it said.”
The man chuckled. “Okay,” he said, “go ahead and ask.”
“It said that a woman should not be afraid to make the first move when she sees a man she is interested in getting to know. What do you think?”
“I guess it is okay nowadays for the woman to make the first move.”
From there, they started talking, ranging on subjects from the current situation in the Middle East to common childhood experiences. After about an hour, the woman looked at her watch and frowned.
“I’m late for an appointment, but I would love to get together with you again to talk some more,” she said. “Do you have a paper and pen?”
He pulled a pen out of his computer case and handed to her along with the wrapping from his sandwich.
She wrote something on the paper, folded it, and handed to him along with his pen.
“Call me,” she said as she turned and left.
He watched her leave. Smiling, he put the pen away and then unfolded the paper.
It read: “ Call me sometime. Floyd 555-1212”
The last thing he remembered before passing out was a twitch developing in his right eye and a pain moving from his chest and down his left arm.
What Weird Lie Did Your Parents Tell You When You Were Young?
We all know parents have to hold back on some truths for their children. As a parent, there are some things you feel your child just isn’t ready to learn, and there are other things you feel you’re just not ready to explain! Sometimes, parents might find it easier to toss in a fib as a placeholder.
What weird lie did your parents tell you when you were young? And how long did it take you to figure out the truth?
A Married Man Was Having An Affair With His Secretary…
