Navigating Back-To-School Night

monkey pickles, humor, funny story

I don’t know how I did it.

Somehow, I managed to get through four years of high school,without getting lost in the hallways.

When I walked through the doors of my youngest son’s school, I was handed a “map”. When I say “map”, I mean one that was intended for a tiny little mouse, with tiny little eyes, and tiny little reading glasses. The numbers and letters were SO small, that I had to strain my eyes to make sense of them. And, the hallways did not make any sense. A runs into H, and B runs into K . . .
I wasn’t even going to begin to try to understand.

First period started at 6:30 SHARP.

With the help of several red-shirted student volunteers, I made it on time.

On to second period (or, so I thought).

“Everyone in here should be in their child’s fifth period classroom, right?” informed the teacher.

Me: Gulp. No.

If there was a tiny little mouse hole to hide in . . .
Instead, I just smiled, and (quiet as a mouse) I slinked out of my chair, and out the door.

I looked at the “map”,

and was able to read it well enough to recognize that my son’s fifth period class was ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE of the building. The meetings were only ten minutes long – I wasn’t going to make it. But, I decided to go for it, asking my red-shirted friends, along the way.

“Take this hallway ALL THE WAY down, then turn left, and go ALL THE WAY down,”said one.

Then, he added,”That last hallway is REALLY, REALLY long, so don’t let it discourage you.”

Don’t let it discourage me, I laughed to myself.
Good advice.
Especially, coming from a fifteen year-old.
I was not so positive at his age.


is what I would have said.

I finally DID make it to the gym (which was never my favorite class, anyways).

I had just missed a powerpoint presentation.

OH, darn.

Somehow, for the rest of the evening

(2 hours and 20 minutes), I was able to find my way to each of my son’s classes, AND in the proper order. I did receive a few battle wounds, along the way (not including my ego). I got bumped into, stepped on, and I twisted my ankle (going down the stairs). I really AM very coordinated, just to let you know.

AT the end of the night, when my son’s teacher asked if there were any final questions, I raised my hand and asked,

“Can you give me directions to the parking lot??!”