Since I got a cell phone, my knowledge of cereal ingredients has decreased dramatically.
user/wis_corp
Do’s and Don’ts of Long Distance Relationships
Whether you’re heading off to college, relocating for a new job, or traveling to another continent to find long lost treasures, you may have to leave your beloved boyfriend or girlfriend behind. Fortunately, simply because you can’t be with your other half physically does not mean you need to break things off completely. You can always maintain a long distance relationship.
Unsurprisingly, the idea of maintaining a long distance relationship is intimidating to many people. Fortunately, here at Monkey Pickles, we care about your love lives. The last thing we want is for our Monkey Picklers to end up sad and forever alone, especially since Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Therefore, here are a few “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of long distance relationships.
A Bookkeeper Cheats a Mafia Godfather – Funny Joke of the Day
Funny Joke of the Day
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is!” The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where’s the money?” Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about”. The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says, “Ask him again and tell him if he doesn’t answer I’ll kill him!” The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.” Guido trembles and signs back, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.” The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?” The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.” Funny Joke SourceMore Funny Jokes!
The Camel Lot Mystery
Even in medieval times people got the hump, never more than in the 13th century when Camel Lot was hit by the most severe plague of camels ever to befall the kingdoms.
Can you help Merlin and The Knights Of The Round Table round up all the camels?
How many camels can you see?
If the answer is, “I see camels all the time.”, and you live in Chicago or Middlesborough, then delay your assistance until you’ve seen a doctor for some leaches.
If you see camels all the time and your name is M. Night Shyamalan …. Don’t do it. Don’t make that movie. You had your chance.
The All New Old Adventures Of George, The Hastily Revised Contrived Giraffe
George woke up all of a sudden. Today his new life began. Never again would he work long hours at the diary delivering absinthe pizza to sock puppet table lamps for Bimblebutt Fluffybottom, the antisocial bee. This was largely because it was a dream & he had never been a 12 year old pizza delivery boy named Janet, dammit. … Or had he ???? … Maybe he was like Wolferine. Wolferine couldn’t remember stuff either.
George expectantly lifted a hoof to his face & stared at it with heroic concentration. He strained & strained training to will cutlery to spring forth from his hoof. Tense minutes passed. George was about to give in when he began to feel …peculiar. …. The shocked giraffe’s eyes widened in utter amazement ….. He had pooped a little.
” 6 inches “
After a quick trip to the bathroom, George found that upon reflection this was the lesser of two evils since the hoof had been only 6 inches from his face. Good job he had that mirror.
Just then there was an urgent knocking at the door.
” George! Where are you ? You’re on in 10 “
” Gravy Gumdrops. 10 hours! ” thought George.
” No … 10 MINUTES “
” Jammy Knees Cricket !!!! ” squealed George ” ….. Hang on. How did you know what I was thinking ? “
” It’s Marvo The Mysterious ….. The mindreader? …….. Your friend & mentor of 10 years …… The guy you can see because the door to your trailer is open? ” despaired Marvo. ” 10 minutes, okay? “
” Yes mam .. er … sir, Mr. ….. um … “
” Marvo .”
” …Mr. Marvo, sir. .. Lickety split “.
” High wire circus giraffe “
George’s eyes glazed over. Lickety Split was his favourite popsicle. He didn’t get to enjoy them very often, they usually melted on the way from Croatia.
” George! 8 minutes! … And stop licking that hairbrush ” said Marvo shattering the illusion as he turned to leave.
” Jumping Jammy Knees Cricket !!!! ” exclaimed George as he struggled to change out of his PJs before realising he was just wearing his spots.
George eased into the pink glittered spandex that made him feel a bit more like Wolferine & warmed up his equipment. … It was important the bike was warm for his erotic … no …. exotic performance. George was a circus giraffe … a high wire circus giraffe …. the life every giraffe dreams of.
Meanwhile, in The Big Top, Jammy Knees the cricket had climaxed … with his signature impression of incremental glacial advance.
” 65ft Tall “
The 65ft tall cricket’s life had also been transformed by the circus. The former New Jersey traffic cop had fallen upon difficult times due to his love of doughnuts. His weight problems couple without the constant emergency call ins for an officer down, due to doughnut jelly running down his front saw Jammy fall upon hard times. After that it was doughnuts doughnuts doughnuts until a concerned neighbor called the fifth emergency service, The Performing Arts Council, and the circus winched Jammy to safety & a new life. They weaned him off doughnuts with Krispie Kremes but with no jelly dripping down his chaffing thighs he discovered his amazing talent for impersonating glacial advance. And the crowds rolled up ….. glacially … or by nipping outside for a cigarette until the next act was on. Nevertheless Jammy justified his billing, as the circus was really short of acts at the time.
His historic finale drew a standing ovation … from one child … but it turned out she was just a bit cold. It was an extremely good impression. Still it was less disappointing than the standing ovulation from last week. Just because they were at the back in the cheap seats, did they think he couldn’t see them? It had all been very embarrassing.
George, however, was more of a circus natural. He loved the crowd … when the weren’t busy doing that sort of thing themselves. He didn’t need to be winched in by Iquitee Card holders while they rested between jobs ( something that you had to be incredibly tired to do if you were on stable duty in the elephant house ). Not George. No. He’d been spotted. …. He still was spotted.
” Billy Ray Cyrus “
George wasn’t the only George at the circus. There was also George. And Mr. Clowny wouldn’t let plunging to his death stop him entertaining the crowd ….. again. He hadn’t been the funniest clown but he did seem to have been very popular with desperate middle aged women. And was now he was finest darn mantelpiece ornament a circus could have … although what a fireplace was doing in a marquee is anyone’s guess. But the clown’s ashes now resided proudly in the centerpiece urn, mixed in with custard powder… It was his pieing wish.
A drum-roll brought hush to the crowd inside the Big Top.
” Ladies & Gentlemen. Boys & Girls. …. Billy Ray Cyrus. … Raise the roof for the amazing High-wire George “.
There followed an awkward couple of minutes when nothing happen & it dawned upon the audience that this might be a literal request. Fortunately, Billy Ray step in to save the day … as he was also in between jobs ( It wasn’t easy being a waiter when you were so achy shaky ) & piped out a medley of his 1 annoyingly catchy hit causing the roof to recoiled to a safe height. The walls had it worse though because, as everybody knows … walls have ears. Still, if they moved, people might say that Billy Ray had brought the house down … & that just wouldn’t do at all.
Surprisingly the audience didn’t flee …. although this was largely down to The Ringmaster having locked the canvas.
” Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ! ”
” Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ” trilled George, mostly to himself. He was ready to WOW.
But how had he managed to get up here. He couldn’t climb ladders. …. Oh yeah. … The winch. George Giraffe frowned. He wasn’t a 20 ton cricket, he wasn’t.
Just close your eyes & think happy thoughts. …. Aaaargh! Open Your Eyes! Open Your Eyes! He chided himself as scrambled back onto the high wire platform.
George looked down breathlessly at the safety net below. He was glad it was there but he did feel sorry for the dolphins. What the deuce ?! Did one of them just flip him off. … Okay…. he felt sorry for most of the dolphins.
George tried to refocus & compose himself … but the musical aspect was proving to difficult so he settled for just concentrating a bit better.
He took a deep breath … *fart* … oops. He slightly shallower breath, reached behind himself & yanked.
Far below the crowd gasped in disbelief. A 12 year tugged at his father’s sleeve elbow for attention as he pointed up at the scene. ” Daddy, is the giraffe going to climb on that & ride it “
” pumping away “
George had indeed finished mounting & was about to commence pumping away when he spied the child’s mocking finger. Clearly the brat was in cahoots with that dolphin. George would give him a crafty kick after, during the autograph session. But the show came first. It was a spectacle that George sometimes performed twice a night … but never quite like this. He began to pump.
” Oooooo !!! ” went the crowd.
Gingerly George pedalled his stunt cycle onto the high wire but it was not his usual cycle. No. Tonight the daredevil’s equipment was made from toast.
” Mmmmmm ! ” went the crowd
In retrospect it had been an error to put Stupendo The Sorcerer next in the schedule as his doves escaped & headed straight for the scrumptious stunt bike.
” Stupid Enzo !! ” ( George could never get his name right & thought the magician was from Italy ) wailed the giraffe as a dove chipped at the rear wheel. ” Your pecker is destroying my rear end !!! “
” Eeewww ! ” went the crowd
Billy tugged on his father’s sleeve again. ” Daddy! Daddy! Is the giraffe going to fall? … You gotta climb up an’ save him.” But Billy’s dad had terrible vertigo. So bad was it that he had specifically requested ringside seats which he was lying down in front of. Curse the giraffe, it was the one act that the ring perimeter didn’t obscure. Fear gripped him as he met his son’s gaze.
” …. B-b-but …. er … ” he stammered.
Billy looked puzzled.
” I don’t think butter is going to help Daddy ” he observed with a grounded wisdom that would see him grounded for the next week.
But … er … it was too late anyway as the toasty rear wheel was pecked away. George blacked out as the bicycle disintegrated beneath him, deliciously coating a dove in breadcrumbs as it’s debris rained down.
George plunged to his certain death.
His certain non lethal caught in a safety net non death.
The giraffe came around to sympathetic applause & struggled to his hooves. He was in the safety net. He felt embarrassed. The performance had been a failure & yet the crowd applauded the attempt. George felt he must acknowledge their kindness in some other way than not kicking Billy.
After a moments thought, he bowed to them & shed a tear …… although this was largely due to the dolphin that had just butted him in his ” finale’ ” .
The End
9 Funny Words That Start With C
There are lots of good words that start with C that you can use to describe someone. If you’re a novelist and you have a character you want to describe to your readers, you can use any of these C words with our goofy blessing.
1. Curmudgeon
The weird thing about a curmudgeon, a grumpy, bad-tempered person, is that you can also get away with calling someone a curmudgeon as an endearing term. “You old curmudgeon. You’re so adorable.”2. Cantankerous
A cantankerous person is very disagreeable. You say the weather is nice, and they point out all the clouds in the sky. If there aren’t clouds, they’re pretty sure there will be soon. Now, a curmudgeon can be cantankerous, but a cantankerous person isn’t necessarily a curmudgeon. (Because of the age, usually.) So a cantankerous young adult might grow to be a curmudgeon in later years. Be careful if you’re cantankerous, young ‘uns. And if you’re young and you’re already a curmudgeon, well … you’re probably stuck like that.3. Contentious
A contentious person is downright argumentative. They just want to quarrel with you all the time. A lawyer is contentious just by virtue of the fact that it’s their job to argue with whatever the opposing counsel says. When you graduate from law school, people should say, “Congratulations on being contentious!”4. Callous
This is a great word to use to describe someone in a romance novel. You could say that the handsome, rugged hero of the book is callous, only it turns out he was hurt very badly by his first love, and now he has built up a wall around himself for protection. Wait, is that a cliche?5. Chirpy
Why is it that when a bird chirps it’s delightful, but when a person is chirpy it’s decidedly annoying? (And it is decidedly annoying, no doubt about it.)6. Civilized
If you say that a person is very civilized, it should be a good thing, right? But really it’s kind of boring. Civilized people never spill crumbs on the floor, and they never appear chirpy or contentious. No fun!7. Closemouthed
Closemouthed people aren’t as admirable as they pretend to be. A closemouthed person is someone who doesn’t share secrets, but they sure don’t mind listening to a bit of juicy gossip, now do they? After all, if they heard no secrets to begin with, they would have nothing to be closemouthed about.8. Compact
If you say that someone is compact, it could mean they’re short or pudgy or shaped like a beach ball. Do wonder if compact people know that? Or do they just think it means they don’t have a lot of extra bits lying around?9. Cordial
Saying someone is cordial is a lot like calling them civilized. Someone like that is a pretty cool cucumber. They don’t get easily rattled, but they aren’t very cuddly either. It would probably be better to spend time with a cute curmudgeon, as long as they aren’t too closemouthed. It’s fun to hear a good secret.Love Is A Marathon, Part 4: Hidden Silhouettes And Exploding Bras
Previously, on Love Is A Marathon:
As Lillian fell for Cyborg Instructor’s mad dance moves, Bob Masters tried to suck her back in by the hair. But the Cyborg pulled her away by her heartstrings … and also by her hair. With Bob Masters safely in the rearview mirror, what will happen next?
Come back next Saturday morning for the exciting continuation of the saga!
Vampire Thursdays!
Welcome back to another season of the college life!
On a college campus, Thursday isn’t just an ordinary day, for some reason everyone is thirsty. The night of ever Thursday is a bit histaicle and well… Interesting.
Classes are over Thursday night by 8 pm, and all around campus, in Fresh, Topper cafe, and Garrett Food Court are closed and deserted by students. The lights pathway lights grow bright on the campus as students walk to their cars and outside of Pearce Ford Tower for a night of smoking and laughing till the early hours of the morning. Then it happens. The zombies appear.
Ah, beautiful, isn’t it?
In the distance you can hear them, the rowdy college students and their booze.
The sound of loud music and loud laughter is almost ear deafening! Some don’t even realize that they aren’t here anymore:
(usually the second one)
The sounds of car doors slamming,
girls stumbling out in their drunken mess, pulling down their skirts, trying to hold their drinks and balance all at the same time, with only the parking lot light to guide them. Their dates get out on the other side, trying to help them, but unable to hold the last shot, stumble to a bush and puke up the vodka and coke from thirty minutes before.
The zombie students walk up
the path to the dorms sometimes dare footed, holding their heels or chuck taylors on one hand and their student IDs in the other. Insane how they can keep their balance, and hold vomit in their mouths for all of 20 seconds: Get in the building, Show ID, get on the Elevator and pray to the stars that they don’t smell the Vodka and Booze from the sketchy bar right off campus.The conversations held by the vampires are very intelectual, speaking about what bar they’ll attend next, crying because “Jacob was my one and only!” and :I messed up man, I loved Samantha!” With the occasional black out drunken vamps who have had one too many bloody shots! Climbing on the statues and making out when everything that walks.
I’ve lived next door to one of these zombies,
and when they bring home a.. uh… well.. a ‘mate’. There is no sleep. Rather that be from making another one of these zombie people, or from vomiting.One person on my floor got so zombified, her roommate had to take care of her, and lets just say all of us 40 girls used the bathroom on different floors from the vomit projected from this zombies body.
Boy oh boy I wish i could see more of the males, the way they treat each other. Hanging on one another for support as they walk across campus, and what a spectacle it is to see a group of them! Hanging on one another, and stumbling up the hill to their cars or rooms.
Luckily, I wasn’t roomed with one, I was roomed with a sorority girl. More on their stereotypes and insane obsession with dancing, Ryan Gosling and pink next time. Keep it classy college students.
Drink responsibly
6 Reasons Not To Shave Your Legs
Let’s be honest, body hair is natural. Why do our evolutionary counterparts get to let it all loose, while we subject ourselves to sharp objects on the skin — all with the intent of looking like hairless babies to attract the opposite sex? Nuh uh.
1. Razorburns. Cuts, nicks. Just a whole lotta ouch so we can look a whole lotta whoa.
2. Hair is a natural barrier between you and the entire bug population. Mosquitoes are the most deadly animal known to human beings. Let’s force those mosquitoes to get their meals elsewhere.
3. Being a feminist is the cool thing to do. And you shouldn’t have to shave your legs for anybody but yourself!
4. Body hair is hot. Literally. It traps a layer of air next to your skin which then insulates your body.
5. They don’t do it in Europe, and European fashion is all the rage these days.
6. It’s additional protection! Hair is there to protect against sun, weather and damage.
Hair is awesome. But whether you find beauty in lots of it or none of it, let that be your own choice.
The Adventures Of Sheerluck Jolmes, Part 3: Shrimp & Smoke
Previously, on Sheerluck Jolmes:
Jolmes and Mustrade discovered the body of the head chef, and the waiter showed off his quick-change routine again and again. Jolmes requested alone time at the crime scene with the body and a glass onion, likely to focus his detecting skills in solitude.
Will Jolmes have enough shrimp to last the day? And how will the shrimp feel about it?
Come back next Saturday morning for the exciting continuation of the saga!
The Sheerluck Jolmes Series Part 1: An Indisposed Chef Part 2: Too Much Onion Part 3: Shrimp & Smoke Part 4: Takeout Blueberry Pancakes Part 5: Dancing Sea Monkeys Part 6: A Deadly Rotating Bow TieThe Horrifying Tale Of The Shark Vacuum
Sit back now and listen to the tale of Mr. Shark Vacuum and Sir Dusty Bunny. Both of them wanted to live together in harmony, but the homeowners forced them to turn on each other in one of the most savage and dust-thirsty attacks of all time…
¤¤¤
Once upon a time, Sir Dusty Bunny lived at the home of the Millers. He was formed after the Millers’ cat, Whiskers, had a very itchy day. The hair from Whiskers’ scratching combined with some dust on the floor and a draft from the open front door really got things going. One thing led to another and Sir Dusty was rolling around before you could sneeze. Sir Dusty wondered how he got so lucky to be surrounded by family and friends wherever he went. Ten-year-old Billy Miller would kick him on his way up the stairs, and soon he’d seen more of the house than he’d ever dreamed. The Millers were often busy with sports and work, so it wasn’t long before Sir Dusty was joined by Ms. Dustette and little Dustin. It was the best life he could have hoped for. But the Millers eventually got tired of the mess they lived in. Mr. Miller went out and bought himself a weird device with the word “Shark” printed on it. Sir Dusty Bunny was determined to be friendly, and he struck up a conversation with the new guy. “Hey, there! Welcome to the house!” “Why thank you. Who are you?” “I’m Sir Dusty Bunny. What’s your name?” “The name’s Shark, Shark Vacuum.” And after that fateful introduction, they had several discussions about life, and about the brewing romance between Ms. Dustette and Sir Dusty. Shark thought Sir Dusty was being too timid and that he should just tell her how he felt. Sir Dusty thought he was being a gentleman. Perhaps Ms. Dustette would be intrigued by a bunny of mystery. Sir Dusty chatted with Shark whenever he found himself in the closet. The Millers hadn’t ever taken Shark on any trips, and he was too big to blow around the house alone like Sir Dusty did. The Millers did often talk wistfully about “cleaning,” but Sir Dusty wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Sir Dusty often wondered why Shark was even there if he just sat in the closet. One day he just had to ask. “So Shark.” “What’s up, Dusty?” “What exactly are you here for?” “You know, I’m not entirely sure. Before the Millers brought me here, though, they did flip this switch on my back and all of a sudden I made a lot of noise.” “Noise?” The cat won’t like that much, Sir Dusty thought. But he kept that thought to himself. Better talk about something else. “So what do you want to do with your life?” Sir Dusty asked. “Well, I like being here, but I haven’t thought too far beyond that,” Shark replied. Another week passed by. Sir Dusty Bunny was nearly back to Shark’s closet after making his rounds of the house that week. But that was the fateful day that Mr. Miller finally got fed up with the state of things. When he came into the basement, he tripped over a large dump truck Billy liked to play with. He cursed loudly and then stomped over to the bottom of the stairs. “Billy! Sarah! Get down here! This place is an absolute pigsty! We need to clean. Sarah, get the Shark. Billy, pick up these toys.” The gust of wind from Mr. Miller falling had blown Sir Dusty nearly to the closet door. Sir Dusty thought about calling out a quiet greeting to Shark, but he stopped when he heard Mr. Miller talking about Shark, too. What was going on here? “A shark?” Sarah called from upstairs. “The vacuum, Sarah. Quickly now, let’s get this over with.” Dusty was so excited, he thought this is it! Shark was going to see some action! Sir Dusty saw some frightful things that day. I don’t have to tell you what happened, but Sir Dusty Bunny, Ms. Dustette and Dustin were never the same after that. Shark continued to live in the Millers’ home for many years. He was used occasionally, but he never made friends with another dust bunny ever again.Weekly Recap: The Best Shower Thoughts on Reddit 7/14/17
If you’ve lived under a rock for the last 10 years, you may not be familiar with Reddit. Literally their motto is “The front page of the internet;” they’ve been a primary source for news, entertainment, and subculture for millions of daily users.
One of our favorite parts of Reddit is a Subreddit called Shower Thoughts.
Shower Thoughts are those sometimes bizarre thoughts you have while showering, daydreaming, driving, or spacing out. It’s a mixture of being “stuck” doing something mundane and letting your thoughts wander to some life-altering realizations or questions about the world.
We’re going to share our favorite Shower Thoughts for the week: 7/7/17 – 7/14/17
If we colonize other planets, synchronizing our calendars will be a nightmare..
user/c_a_s_i_o
I have no problem blowing $60 in one night at a bar, but I never buy video games for $60 because they’re too expensive.
user/jidery
Whenever my laptop freezes and I have to hold the power button to turn it off, it feels like I’m choking it to death
user/jdeeyu
I’m going to wait until the year 2020 to get a lasik procedure in the hopes of huge promotional discounts.
user/commasdivide
If I write “etc.”, I’m usually just out of examples of whatever I was listing.
user/therapist87
A poodle is literally a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
user/imjustdifferent
When someone says “so tell me a little bit about yourself”. I suddenly forget who tf I am
user/Skyranitar
If sloths were fast they’d be horrifying.
user/stz1
Imagine explaining cheese on a burger to a cow
user/DJTall
Source: Shower Thoughts on Reddit
More of our favorite Shower Thoughts!
5 Cool Gifts for Aerosmith Fans
Aerosmith is an American rock band formed in Boston, MA in 1970. The group consists of Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Tom Hamilton, Joey Kramer and Brad Whitford. Before using the name Aerosmith, the band wanted to name themselves Jack Daniels or Spike Jones. Even to this day, Aerosmith is the best-selling American rock band of all time. They’ve sold more than 70 million albums in the US. If we’re talking worldwide sales, that number jumps to more than 150 million! One of the most famous albums of Aerosmith is “Pump”. But the band members were not happy with this name at that time, they wanted to rename it as “Bobbing For Piranhas”. Thankfully they didn’t. Aerosmith appeared in Wayne’s World 2, performing two of their songs.
Legends Never Die "Aerosmith" Framed Photo Collage, 11 x 14-Inch (16210U)
out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 12, 2024 8:11 am
Features
- Beautifully matted collectors photo presentation, handmade in the USA
- Collage contains an 8" x 10" photo, additional 3" x 5" photo and a biography
- All photos and bio are bevel-cut and double matted under glass
- Comes framed in a beautifully sculpted black lacquered frame ready for hanging
- Extra care is given to packing and shipping to prevent glass and/or frame damage
AEROSMITH: Stemless wine glass - with Sand-Blasted Etched Logo
$29.99
in stock
2 new from $29.99
Free shipping
Amazon.com
as of April 12, 2024 8:11 am
Features
- AEROSMITH THEMED COLLECTIBLE: Our stemless wine glass features the iconic Aerosmith logo etched on the front of the glass. This custom wine glass captures the spirit of the legendary rock band, making it a functional homage for enthusiasts who seek a unique addition to their collection
- PREMIUM QUALITY GLASSWARE: With unique licensed designs, our handcrafted custom stemless wine glasses for men & women are created using a high-pressure abrasive, offering you a look that's classy, charming, & 100% permanent
- CARE INSTRUCTIONS: Show your purchase some tender loving care! While all of our custom glasses are dishwasher-safe, a gentle hand wash cleans them quickly and will ensure your design stays sharp and delightful longer. For a truly permanent mark, please consider our engraved glassware
- VERSATILE USAGE: With 15 ounces, enjoy your favourite red wine, cocktails, desserts, whiskey, beer, and whatever your heart desires. Perfect for toasting on birthdays, adding joy to Christmas, or sharing special moments on anniversaries. Our stemless custom wine glass - a versatile gift for all occasions!
- MADE WITH HEART in USA: Officially licensed by Paramount Pictures, ViacomCBS, and The Universal Music Group, our engraved glasses are designed and created by our talented team in Reno, NV
Funko Rocks: POP! Aerosmith Collectors Set - Steven Tyler, Joe Perry
out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 12, 2024 8:11 am
Features
- Includes; Steven Tyler, Joe Perry.
- Figures Stand 3.75" tall.
- Collect them all.
- POP! Vinyl Figures are ideal for all Aerosmith fans!
- Each figure comes individually packaged.
Aerosmith Mug Band Logo Property Of Est 1970 Official Boxed 11Fl Oz
$25.00
out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 12, 2024 8:11 am
Features
- Great for College Dorms or Apartments
- Officially Licensed Coffee Mug - Cup
- High Quality Manufacturing
- Great Gift For A Collector
Walk This Way: The Autobiography of Aerosmith
$16.10 in stock
10 new from $12.78
48 used from $2.13
48 used from $2.13
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Amazon.com
as of April 12, 2024 8:11 am
Features
| Part Number | illustrations |
| Release Date | 2003-02-18T00:00:01Z |
| Edition | Reprint |
| Language | English |
| Number Of Pages | 528 |
| Publication Date | 2003-02-18T00:00:01Z |
An Old Couple Comes Across A Magic Lamp In Their Attic…
Funny Joke Of The Day
An old couple come across a magic lamp in their attic and when they rub it, a genie appears. The genie grants them each three wishes. The old woman goes first. Not wanting to appear greedy, she says to the genie, “I wish for a new dining table.” The genie waves his hand and poof! Their dining table is replaced. The old man follows, saying, “I wish for a new car for the two of us.” The genie waves his hand again and poof! A brand new Porsche appears in the driveway. The old woman now says, “I wish for a new and bigger house.” The genie waves his hand and poof! They feel the floor shift as their house is changed and improved. The old man, not wanting to be outdone, says, “I wish for $1 billion for each of us.” The genie waves his hand and poof! A cool billion is added to each of their bank accounts. The old woman now thinks hard. They are both very rich now, but they are each about 60 years old, and old age has not been kind to them. She now says, “I wish we had our eyesight back.” The genie waves his hand and poof! Suddenly their glasses vanish, and they can see clearly. The old man now says, “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.” The genie waves his hand and poof! The man is now 90.Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!
(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)What’s Something You Wish You Could Make Out Of Wood?
You’ve done it again. You’ve gone and dropped your favorite [insert thing], and there’s no repairing it this time. If only it had been made from a sturdier material…
You can’t put up with it anymore. Your neighbor’s [insert animal] is too noisy, all day and all night. If only your neighbor was in love with a small statuette instead of that pet…
Or maybe it’s something else entirely!