Work can be so exciting that it can be hard to find activities that measure up to the experience of being at work. This is especially true if you have a job where you have to deal with people all day, such as a customer service job, or working in the complaints department of a cable company. But here are some ways that you can make your off-hours just as interesting as your work time.
1. Pretend To Re-Shingle Your Roof
If you have a situation where your spouse is always pestering you about not doing enough around the house, surprise him or her one day after work by explaining that you’re going to re-shingle the roof. Grab some random tools and climb on up there. Once you’re up, immediately start throwing stuff back down, like used asphalt shingles and nails. Be sure to drop a tool off the edge and curse loudly. Make a big mess in the yard. Use a hammer to bang on chimneys or ventilation pipes that look like they would be noisy.
If you’ve done this correctly, your spouse should be standing in the yard begging you to come back down to safety and let the pros handle it. Argue a little, but not too much. When you give in and climb back down the ladder, pretend to slip a little and almost fall to really drive home the point that you’re incapable of doing any sort of manual labor.
2. Save A Pet’s Life
Earn yourself the Parent of the Year award tonight after work. This fun activity will work best if you have a cat or dog, plus one other small pet. Sneak into your kid’s room and take the gerbil/bird/hamster out of the tank/cage/ball. Go in the bathroom and drizzle a little water on the tiny critter. (It probably needs a bath anyway.) Now walk into the living room where everyone’s watching some made-for-TV movie. Hold up the gerbil/bird/hamster and announce that you just retrieved it from Fido’s mouth, where it was about to be swallowed!
When everyone gathers round and gives you hugs, bask in the gratitude. Then quickly snag the remote and make yourself comfortable on the sofa while everyone is cooing over the frightened pet.
3. Hold A Seance
Nothing makes an evening after work more fun than bringing the dead back to life! On your way home from the office, stop off and pick up your seance supplies. You’ll need:
Candles (a lot of them)
Strings of beads (to hang around the room for atmosphere)
Incense (duh)
Beer (to coerce your neighbors to join in)
At home, set up a table with the candles lit in the middle. Decorate with the beads and light the incense. Call the neighbors and have them stop by, supposedly for a friendly beer.
After the neighbors have had a few cold ones, spring the seance idea on them. Turn out the lights and join hands. Have everyone close their eyes and mumble some stuff about a relative or friend who has passed over into the next realm. Sway a little in your seat and throw your head back.
Don’t worry about a dead person actually speaking. One of your neighbors will assuredly be secretly eager to supply a fake ghost voice when no one’s looking. Or is it fake?
Congratulations! You’ve survived another year of waiting and anticipation, and your reward is finally here. It’s National Doughnut Day! Many businesses offer specials or free doughnuts in honor of one of the best days of the year. We’re just glad there are others out there who value sugar and fried dough as much as we do.
But whether you like apple fritters, maple bars or something else entirely, we’re pretty sure you don’t know the origins of National Doughnut Day. When we started looking into it, we were pretty surprised ourselves.
The practice started during the Great Depression, and it’s one of the few national food holidays that wasn’t created by the companies making the food. Believe it or not, doughnuts weren’t a well-known food in the U.S. at the start of the 20th century. But when U.S. soldiers were fighting in Europe’s trenches during World War I, Salvation Army volunteers served doughnuts to the hungry soldiers to help them deal with the poor rations and muddy, demoralizing fighting conditions.
When they got back from the war, they missed the sweet treats that had so brightened their days in the trenches, and the doughnut gained traction in the homeland. In 1938, the Salvation Army organization in Chicago started National Doughnut Day to boost fundraising and local awareness of its work, as well as to honor the work done by the doughnut girls in World War I.
The Red Cross followed in the Salvation Army’s footsteps during World War II and sent units of doughnut girls to serve doughnuts to soldiers stationed in England. The practice seems to have stopped after World War II, however.
If you just came for the doughnut down-low, Dunkin’ Donuts is giving away a free doughnut if you buy a drink and Krispy Kreme is giving away a free doughnut if you show up and ask for one. Here’s a pretty good list of places you can find free or discounted doughnuts in the U.S. and Canada today.
Even if you can’t make it to a Dunkin’ Donuts or a Krispy Kreme today, we hope you’ll join us in celebrating the holiday. If you’re heading to a party tonight, we’d suggest stopping at the grocery store and picking up a dozen or so on your way.
If you’ve got a Friday night date, maybe stop by a doughnut store on your way to meet up. (Or, if the date goes particularly well, maybe pick up some doughnuts for dessert tonight: If you get extras, you’ve already got your morning’s breakfast!)
Got any doughnut rituals of your own? What’s your favorite kind of doughnut?
If you love escape games, you may know of escape game virtuosos Rusty Lake Studios. The Netherlands-based indie app company started a series of escape games called Cube Escape in 2015, and they are now about to release their 9th installment. The new game, titled Cube Escape: The Cave, will feature the same foreboding, delightfully morose atmosphere as fans are likely to expect from the Rusty Lake escape game series- and continue to unfold a story full of shadowy and compelling mystery.
Rusty Lake: An Immersive Escape Game Series
The co-founders of Rusty Lake Studios describe their series of escape games as “surrealistic adventure games,” inspired by the TV show Twin Peaks– a gloomy, dreamlike drama that was as odd as it was captivating. The Rusty Lake Cube Escape series rises above the typical point-and-click monotony of some puzzle escape games, allowing for an immersive experience for any type of gamer. The stories of the Cube Escape games are intertwined with each other and two other Rusty Lake escape games- Rusty Lake: Hotel and Rusty Lake: Roots. While each escape game has its own unique story line and concept, there are some clear (and purposefully unclear) ways that the stories come together as the player is drawn in to the surreal world of Rusty Lake.
Rusty Lake: The Developers and The Eerie Locale
The creators of this dark escape game series consist of two people: Robin and Maarten. The two friends started working on news-based flash games as a hobby, until the pair took their diversion to the next level and started working on the Cube Escape game series, and developed Rusty Lake Studios. The creative duo have a small crew of folks they like to use in their escape games for voices, soundtracks, background artistry, and testing; overall, the bulk of the game’s content comes from the two men and their intricate storylines.
The heart and soul of the escape room action is Rusty Lake; a magical, surrealistic, yet earthly location that feels simultaneously comforting and foreboding. Whether or not Rusty Lake plays a prominent role in each escape game, it’s always there; a reminder that you’re never really going to escape its confines. Many fan theories and speculations about Rusty Lake exist, a surefire sign that this escape game series has struck a nerve with the type of gamer who delights in digging deeper into the overarching themes of games.
Rusty Lake: The Cave
For this most recent installment of the Cube Escape series, the Rusty Lake developers are continuing to weave their story with puzzles that unravel clues about the overall story in Rusty Lake. Like its predecessors, Cube Escape: The Cave will be a stylized slow-burn of cerebral, imaginative content with sometimes downright frustratingly perplexing puzzles to solve. Unlike the other Cube Escape games, The Cave has an in-game hint system for those who don’t like to leave the immersive environment of the escape game to seek out a walkthrough video. Since the Cube Escape games are free to download and play, the hints are exchanged for an ad- which may annoy some players, but will hopefully lower some of the monetary losses resulting from releasing a free-to-play escape game.
Rusty Lake: Where To Start
For new Rusty Lake players, there can be a lot of confusion about the story and how it unfolds: luckily, there is a specific “path” to take in terms of what order to play the Rusty Lake escape games in. That being said, those new to Rusty Lake/Cube Escape games should note that the these escape games may have a suggested order, but it’s in no way a linear journey. We’ve already said too much: download all the Rusty Lake/Cube Escape games to see for yourself!
Rusty Lake: The Cave comes out for iOS and Android on March 23rd, 2017.
Rusty Lake Cube Escape Game Order:
Cube Escape: Seasons
Cube Escape: The Lake
Cube Escape: Arles
Cube Escape: Harvey’s Box
Cube Escape: Case 23
Cube Escape: The Mill
Rusty Lake: Hotel
Cube Escape: Birthday
Cube Escape: Theatre
Rusty Lake: Roots
Cube Escape: The Cave
Sources: Cube Escape Wikia, Touch Arcade, Rusty Lake
A pastor bikes to his friend’s house every Monday. One Monday, the pastor shows up three hours later than usual. His friend asks, “Why were you so late today?”
The pastor replies, “My bike was stolen so I had to walk here.”
His friend thinks for a minute and says, “I know how you can get your bike back. Next Sunday, preach on the Ten Commandments. When you get to ‘Thou shall not steal,’ look at the congregation for anyone who looks guilty. That’s the person who stole your bike.”
The following Monday, the pastor shows up at his friend’s house on his bike. “Good news! I followed your advice and preached on the Ten Commandments,” said the pastor. “But when I got to ‘Thou shall not commit adultery,’ I remembered where I left my bike.”
Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!
Being late for some people is a huge no-go. For other individuals, this trait is integrated into their entire makeup and everyday behavior. Here are some excuses for being late that could win Academy Awards.
1. The Police Had Our Entire Block Shut Down Looking For An Escaped Lion
A transport truck was taking a lion to the zoo when the lion somehow broke out of the containment cage and took off running! The police and animal control people showed up and shut down our block. They started a dragnet over the entire area and would not let anybody out of their homes until the lion was caught. I would have called, but all the drama caused everything else to be blocked from my mind.
2. My Girlfriend Turned All Time Devices Back One Hour While I Was Sleeping
My girlfriend and I got into a bad argument last night. She wakes up first in the mornings, and she decided to teach me a lesson by making me late. She methodically turned every single clock, watch and timepiece back an hour. This was done for spite and to make me late for my presentation. We’re breaking up.
3. I Passed Out In My Car On The Way To Work And Ran Into A Ditch
I guess I took too much cold medicine because I blacked out on the way to work. The next thing I knew, I was in the ditch. I wasn’t hurt, but I had to wait for a taxi and a tow truck to arrive.
4. Someone Slashed All My Car Tires
When I came out of the house, a big surprise was waiting for me. There were four flat tires on my car! I had to wait for the police in order to get a report. I was so shocked that I didn’t think to call you and say that I was going to be late. I’m still shocked just thinking about it! I found some Goodyear coupons so I guess I’ll be using those to buy some new tires!
5. I Thought Someone Was Following Me, So I Kept Driving Out Of My Way
Lately, it seems like someone has been following me. Today, I drove along some obscure routes just to be sure. These extra routes caused me to be late, but it is better to be safe than sorry. Once I felt sure that everything was clear, I came right over as soon as I could.
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Do you love games? Of course you do. Tons of people love games like League of Legends with Unranked LoL Accounts or something similar. You most likely spend all of your free time playing games, and if you’re not playing them then chances are you’re researching the games as you’ll be wanting to play them to the best of your abilities. You’ll probably be trying to find out more about your character skills in games like ‘The Outer World’ or other similar games. And when you’re not researching the game your playing you are probably looking at the accompanying electronics on websites like gear surfer to keep up to date with the latest products. Games bring people together, create memories, and – in the case of playing Monopoly – make lots and lots of enemies who may never talk to you again. The point is, when we’re playing games, we’re connecting, communicating, and building relationships with people: this is the foundation of which Monkey Pickles is built upon!
We’ve taken our love of gaming to a new level, and we want YOU to be involved on the front lines as our brand ambassadors!
We’re looking for online gamers who would represent the Monkey Pickles community of fun-loving goofballs. If you’re a casual gamer or a hardcore gaming enthusiast who loves humor, WE WANT YOU!
We’ll create a guild name for you to be part of, you rack up some high scores and in-game accreditation, and we’ll give you a sponsorship:
Fuel for in-game purchases (i.e. iTunes cards, Google Play cards, etc.)
Monkey Pickles gear (shirts, etc.)
Shout Outs (on our site, social media, etc.)
Other cool stuff
To start with, we’d like your opinion on the games you play that could house a Monkey Pickles guild! Please see the form below to cast your vote, or write in YOUR choice (after all, you’re going to be the ambassador), and…
…ALSO BE ENTERED TO WIN A MONKEY PICKLES T-SHIRT!!!
High fives all around, right? That’s what we’re all about. Stay tuned for more information about our gaming team, and vote below!
Please select a valid form
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The rise of hipster culture in the United States has led to a number of highly impractical yet impressive trends in housekeeping. Why serve salad out of a regular old bowl like a commoner when you could serve it out of a mason jar? Likewise, why spend your hard-earned cash on plant food and fertilizer when you can invest a disproportionate amount of labor and turn your kitchen into a makeshift dump by composting your own?
From eggshells to table scraps, there are plenty of things you can turn into compost. Here are a few you probably shouldn’t.
Good Food
It’s okay, we understand. You’re eager to impress your friends with how eco-friendly you are by doing your own composting. Resist the urge to toss that homemade lasagna directly into your compost bin. If you happen to botch a few recipes just to lend some variety to the compost, we’ll look the other way.
Fido’s Scraps
Your dog watches you all throughout dinner, just hoping you’ll drop a savory morsel on the floor while he or she is stuck with unappetizing dry kibble. Don’t break Fido’s heart by tossing the choice scraps from dinner directly in the compost pile. Sure, it’s tempting, but it’s also a guarantee that your pet will dig up your garden out of sheer jealousy and spite. Those azaleas won’t appreciate half-eaten meatloaf half as much as the family pooch.
Anything That Glows
While the idea of a super-powered garden is certainly intriguing (Captain Carnation, anyone?), it’s probably best not to put anything radioactive in your compost pile. As difficult as it can be to properly dispose of nuclear waste, you’re better off not feeding it to your garden. You know how these things start out. First, a spider gets into your radioactive compost bin and then it’s the mice. Next thing you know, you’re granting superpowers to your house cat just to keep the league of super-powered pests in your backyard in check. Who has the time between spin class and making recipes from Pinterest? That salad isn’t going to put itself in mason jars.
Store-Bought Compost
If you’re like most people, creating organic compost takes hours of your time each day. You wake up in the morning and toss your coffee grinds and eggshells in only to feel the deep emptiness that comes with a lack of proper composting materials. You’ve even considered having a larger family just so you’ll have more excess food to throw into the compost bin. The temptation to fill the compost-shaped hole in your heart with bagged compost seems too great to bear, but you must resist! It starts with one bag of store-bought compost and you think no one will know. The next thing you know, you look outside only to realize that your garden is spelling out your treachery in daisies and you have to move just to avoid the shame.
While composting is as rewarding as it is necessary, remember to avoid composting these items for the best results. Your garden (and your neighbors who aren’t fond of radioactive spiders) will thank you.
These words that start with N will really get you thinking. Sorry about that.
1. Nunchuks
Considering that Bruce Lee was a master using this deadly weapon, it figures that the word sounds much scarier if you say it with a gruff Asian accent. Try it. Nunchuks.
2. Nanotechnology
ZZZzzzzz … I’m sorry, did you say something? Nanotechnology was this new word that surfaced about, oh, 20 years ago. Everybody got their knickers in a twist about all the weird stuff that was going to be possible with this technology that supposedly used miniature, microscopic robots to do stuff. Since then, we haven’t heard much about it. Either it was a bunch of hyped-up nonsense over nothing or the government seized the nanotechnology and is now bugging all our cell phones. Hmmm …
3. Narcissist
This is a frightening personality type where people are completely obsessed with themselves. They have a tendency to talk about themselves and can’t stop looking at their own image. I would try to pin this label on the Kardashians, but they’d probably just get all shy and embarrassed at having people talk about them.
4. Nicotine
This word has been in the news lately with all this talk about e-cigarettes. Supposedly the vapor in electronic cigs has some trace amounts of nicotine in it, so the makers are now trying to make claims that a little nicotine is actually good for you. Yeah, and a little napalm in the morning is refreshing to some people, too.
5. Novice
People don’t really use this word anymore. A novice is someone who is new to something. They haven’t yet experienced whatever it is, but hey, they’re willing to put themselves out there and give it a shot. Nowadays, we call these people “green” or “noobs.” As if they’re some kind of alien, Morlock person coming up from the underground. Apparently all the “cool” people are born experts at everything.
6. Nobleman
People don’t use this word anymore, either, unless you’re a history professor discussing the pre-war English gentry. I think we should bring back “nobleman” and make the title official. I mean, if the “sir” can carry so much weight, why not nobleman? Sir Sean Connery and Sir Elton John. Wouldn’t they like to be called Nobleman Elton John and Nobleman Sean Connery instead? I know I would, if I were a man. Or a Sir. Anyway, nobleman carries much more description with it. “Oh, he’s Nobleman Elton John? He must be so noble. And look at those nunchuks!”
In recent years, the French press has come into vogue as a popular tool for making perfectly brewed cups of fresh-ground coffee. Why are people using a French press to make coffee of all things? We have no clue.
Any experienced chef will tell you (not that we asked any, but just trust us on this one) that the real purpose of a French press is for making French toast, French dressing, and french fries. [For all you pedants out there, “french fries” is lowercase because “french” refers to the style of cut, not the nation.]
Look, “coffee” doesn’t even have the word “French” in it! How these people decided you should make coffee in a French press is beyond us. Start calling coffee “French tea” and we’ll reconsider.
Making French Toast
Making French toast in your French press is a lot simpler than it looks. All you really need to do is crack some eggs into your French press with a few drops of vanilla and some milk. Mash the plunger up and down to beat the mixture together, pour it into a frying pan, and boom, you’ve got yourself some French toast!
We know what you’re asking: Why is it called French “toast” if there’s no toasted bread in it? Allow us to answer that question with another question: Who are you, Bobby Flay? Get off our backs.
Making French Fries
Head on down to your nearest kitchen supplies store and get a julienne slicing attachment for your French press. Unscrew the filter, attach the slicer, and start hacking your potatoes into french fries! Now all you have to do is take your julienned potatoes to a local diner and ask if they’ll fry them up for you, because it’s dangerous to keep a deep fryer at home.
Making French Dressing
We haven’t finished experimenting with this one yet. Get back to us after we’ve had a little more time to do some research.
p.s. Making Coffee (French Tea)
If you insist on misusing a French press for brewing coffee, it’s as simple as putting a tablespoon of coarse-ground beans in the press with a cup of boiling water and waiting for eight minutes before pressing the handle down. But we don’t advise this, and if you burn yourself boiling the water or lose a finger in the coffee grinder, we will deny under oath that we had anything to do with it.
