LATEST ARTICLES

iscream Dessert Scented Pillows

WARNING: Do not eat these pillows. Giant cookies and cupcake

iscream Chocoholic! Chocolate Scented Candy Chip Cookie Microbead Pillow

$39.89
$36.79
 in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 5, 2024 6:38 am

Features

  • There's always room for one more fun, bright, comfy, crazy throw pillow - especially when it's as fun as this chocolate-scented treat of a pillow
  • This full-color, photo-real print pillow is shaped just like a big candy chip cookie, smells as yummy as it looks and is ready to liven up any space
  • Best of all, this pillow isn't just fun to look at - this softy is filled with microbeads that move with you making it super comfortable and squishy!
  • The perfect combination of colorful fun, to-die-for design, quintessential quality and cozy comfort - just what you expect from iscream!
  • Sizable pillow measures 13" high and wide and features a photoreal print on both sides

iscream Sugar-riffic! Donut Shaped Microbead Pillow

$35.79  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 5, 2024 6:38 am

Features

  • There's always room for one more fun, bright, comfy, crazy throw pillow - especially when it's as fun as this bold and bright treat of a pillow
  • This full-color, photo-real print pillow is shaped just like a donut with frosting and sprinkles galore that's ready to liven up any space
  • Best of all, this pillow isn't just fun to look at - this softy is filled with microbeads that move with you making it super comfortable and squishy!
  • The perfect combination of colorful fun, to-die-for design, quintessential quality and cozy comfort - just what you expect from iscream!
  • Sizable pillow measures 16" in diameter; PLEASE NOTE: The images show both sides of this pillow - one side is pink frosting, the other is chocolate frosting

iscream Sugarlicious! Vanilla Scented Celebration Cupcake Microbead Pillow

$44.29  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 5, 2024 6:38 am

Features

  • There's always room for one more fun, bright, comfy, crazy throw pillow - especially when it's as fun as this vanilla scented treat of a pillow
  • This full-color, photo-real print pillow looks like a yummy frosted cupcake, smells as sweet as it looks and is ready to liven up any space
  • Best of all, this pillow isn't just fun to look at - this softy is filled with microbeads that move with you making it super comfortable and squishy!
  • The perfect combination of colorful fun, to-die-for design, quintessential quality and cozy comfort - just what you expect from iscream!
  • Sizable pillow measures 15" high x 12" wide; PLEASE NOTE: The images show both sides of this bi-colored pillow - one side has green frosting and the other side has blue frosting

Pillow Pets 18” Sweet Scented Strawberry Sloth Stuffed Animal Plush Toy, Multicolor

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 5, 2024 6:38 am

Features

  • SWEET SLOTH-TIME! Sweet Scented Pillow Pets deliver the scent of yummy sweet treats in a plush you can hug. Strawberry Sloth has a scent patch that smells like strawberries - it's BERRY delicious!
  • COMFORTING COMPANIONS: Pillow Pets presents super soft, cute, & adorable stuffed animals that unfold into fuzzy pillows for sleep. Kids, teens, & adults love these classic & collectible comfy critters.
  • TRAVEL FRIEND: This plush is a pal in the day & unfastens to become a comfortable pillow at night. It’s a comfort for any child on road trips & airplanes, & is fun as boy & girl bedroom decoration.
  • BEST BUDDY: This original toy for children ages 0+ unfastens into an 18in large pillow for reading, studying, play, & nap time. It’s a cozy creature that’s surface washable and BPA & Phthalates free.
  • OFFICIAL PILLOW PETS: Scents are made in the US from sustainably harvested trees or cotton, & are certified by the International Fragrance Association, & are compliant with US & EU Toy Regulations.

Smillows - Scented Stuffed Plush Pillows (S'Mores Marshmallow) - Accent, Throw, Decorative Pillows - Kids Room Decor, Gift for Kids by Scentco

$24.99  in stock
2 new from $24.99
Free shipping
Amazon.com
as of April 5, 2024 6:38 am

Features

  • Smillows are super soft accent throw pillows with gourmet scented microbeads sewn right into the stuffing
  • These unique scented pillows look great on beds, couches, kids play areas, and wherever else you need extra cuteness
  • Scent-sational stuffed animal style plushie that never fail to brighten up the day and stimulate the senses
  • Scents last up to two years and come in vacuum sealed plastic

Squishmallows Official Kellytoy 5 Inch Soft Plush Squishy Toy Animals (Maya Mint Ice Cream)

$25.00  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 5, 2024 6:38 am

Features

  • COLLECT THEM ALL- many characters all sizes choose from!
  • PERFECTLY SIZED SQUISHMALLOWS- These soft plush stuffed animals are warm cuddly fun and the right size for taking with you wherever you go.
  • SUPER SOFT - Made from incredibly cozy- polyester fiber, these squishy toys have a marshmallow-like texture thats pillow-soft.
  • Everyone loves Squishmellows plush toys & soft stuffed animals. Fabulous bedroom, dorm room, living room decoration. Cute plushies incredibly soft toys are perfect for playing, collecting & cuddling
  • SQUAD UP Grow your Squishmallows Squad with Courtney, a super soft, collectible plush!

How To Be A Millionaire – Made Easy!

piggy bankMay 20th is the official “Be A Millionaire Day”. Not just anybody can be a millionaire (and let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to be one?). Here is a infallible, step by step list of how to be a millionaire. Step One: Pretend you have investments Pour over your financials with a fine-tooth comb. Not satisfied with your bank balance? Let’s pretend to do research about the pros and cons of investing. And hey, every millionaire had to start somewhere. Step Two: Buy a smoking pipe and blow bubbles out of it It’s one thing to be a millionaire, another to look like one. Step Three: Become a pro gambler overnight Go to your locally Native American owned Casino, bet a whopping $10.  Lose all but $.01. Frame the ticket and put in your cubicle at work as a reminder that all millionaires require a bit of prudence with their money. Step Four: Wear a top hat and monocle. Enough Said. Step Five: Search Wikihow or Howto Articles for Becoming a Millionaire. Because the millionaires wrote those articles Step Six: Dress your dog, cat or respective pet as a butler. Sit, stay, okay now pass out the hors d’oeuvres. Step Seven: Fine Dining and Smaller Portion Sizes 7. Put a cracker on your plate, drizzle some caramel syrup. Now you’re eating gourmet! Bon appetit Step Eight: Rinse and Repeat.

Around The World In 80 Drinks

I’m not going to mention Philiass Fogg ( Dang ! … I mentioned him ) or talk about 80 drinks … but that is an homage to being drunk in itself.  I’m drunk, everyone we know is drunk and The World is spinning far dramatically than you suspect it usually does & when it is all over 80 drinks seems an extremely plausible explanation.

“Yeah, I had 80 drinks … then I wrestled a bear for a bag of peanuts & bit an arm off a ninja”

No one can say that didn’t happen. The bear would have no reason to stay once it had lost control of the peanuts & the ninja would clearly need to seek immediate medical attention. That they are not there when everyone wakes up has no bearing *=)) rolling on the floor on your claims.

And if logic dictates otherwise, ” Go home Logic, you’re drunk ! “

Drink is not always your friend, however. Admitting to being drunk is not always recommend you for a high ranking government position or guarantee that you will become a captain of industry. In some parts of The World it translates as ” I would like to abruptly lose my liberty & never be seen or heard from again. ” It is good to be aware of when it is okay to admit to being drunk & when it is not, especially if you are abroad. ( Now, don’t be sexist … I mean in a foreign land. ) At home it is easy, ” I am not drunk officer, I am on my way to an interview for Ambassador to France ” or ” I am an earthquake first responder ” are common when a wee tipple needs explaining away. Don’t not, however, be caught alone drunk in a vehicle. We here at Monkey Pickles believe that either you drink OR you drive … and that is a philosophy that isn’t just dictated by wages. Still, even as a passenger you could be accused of being in charge of the vehicle. It is advisable not to answer, ” No …  No sir officer mam. I am not in charge … We are in an equal & loving relationship. ” It is better not to be in the vehicle … especially the exhaust.

The most famous drink to come out of the USA is the McBudcola with cheese bacon & hot sauce.

But how about if you are overseas. How do you say I am drunk ? In the literal sense it is ” I am in first class ” but let us consider some of the major countries of The World you are mostly likely to visit … as well as some more obscure minnows you may not have heard of … such as France. Let us start with the UK. Two common ways of explaining your inebriation or spotting a drunk are, ” This is Scotland ” and ” Lovely weather we are having “. If you are still finding it difficult to make yourself understood, simply purchase a kebab & brandish it uncomfortably close to whomever you are trying to communicate with. The UK has many dark beers which are not to everyone’s taste ( uk beers named after the sound made when you first drink one ). Two types are bitters & stouts, respectively brewed by people whom don’t like the weather & hobbits. Germany is a completely different well manufacture kettle of mechanically superior cabbage. Germany is hardworking disciplined & industrious … except in October when Germany lets its collective hair down to such an extent that Rapunzel is too embarrassed ( & trapped in a tall tower ) to visit and all the drains are blocked. So simply say ” Dies ist der Oktober, ja? “. Do not say ” I have the Munchens “, ” … & now for a John Cleese routine ” & if you find you have staggered into a room filled with large hairy men all clad in Lederhosen, don’t say anything at all & slowly back out way you came in ( < Advice not specific to Germany. ). Germany is famous for light cloudy beers which are served by bears. The bears do not wee in the beer. That is NOT why it is cloudy. If you find yourself in France you are possibly so drunk that you have become lost … but do not worry. It is not uncommon for children as young as 5 years old to be introduced a little wine along the evening meal. France is also famous for cheese, so you shouldn’t go hungry, although you will be mocked if  you try to consume any not prepared by a Michelin Chef.

The most well known drink from France is Champagne … which is made from mushrooms

Canada : It is quite likely you may visit Canada. Canada has no phrase for ” I am drunk “. All liquid in Canada is frozen all the time. If you say ” I am drunk, eh ” in Canada most likely people will give you blank looks & be nice to you.
The most famous drink to be defrosted from Canada is Margarita On A Stick ( because Canada is still exotic & fun …. Yes it is. ) Some countries are multilingual. Switzerland for instance has speaks French, German & Italian as well as English. Explain your are drunk can therefore be easily misunderstood. Try one of the following phrases, ” Je bin ubriaco “, ” Sono suis betrnken ” or ” Ich bunga bunga, oui,oui ” … ’cause you’ll be arrested anyway.

The most well known drink to come out of Switzerland ( apart from purple milk ) is water … because it is famously neutral.

Another country in Europe, wherever that is, is The Netherlands. Despite its confusing name The Netherlands is made of land & is not where Captain Hook or Peter Pan live. Also known as Holland, The Netherlands has quite the saucy reputation. The phrase for ” I am drunk ” in The Netherlands is ” I am ready for sexy times “. … This is also the phrase for ” I am not drunk ”  The most famous drinks in The Netherlands are Mayonnaise & also Dutch Courage …  which you drink before all that weird sexy stuff. Most of the countries in the southern hemisphere are Australia. Australians are prolific drinkers, not out of choice, but because of where Australia is. If Australians do not consume their alcohol swiftly, it falls it space causing satellites to become drunk which in turn disrupts baseball & sales of tin foil hats. The Australian for ” I am drunk ” is … anything. Australia has every drink in The World. It is the most alcoholic place on the planet. Even the wild life are heavy drinkers. Australia is home to the World’s most poisonous animals including the Vodka Moth, one bite from which will cause you to dance embarrassingly & grow a mullet. In an apt tribute to terrible financial involved in a night out, our final stop is Greece back in Europe. Greece, much I will tomorrowmorning, woke up recently & regretted what it had been up to.  The Phrase for ” I am drunk ” in Greece is ” Hello, I am a tourist ” or simply singing their 2013 Eurovision Song Contest entry,  ‘ Alcohol Is Free’ … Alcohol is not free, however … in relative terms it is very very expensive. Incidentally, ” I am drunk in grease ” is a common phrase in The Netherlands. Grease is not the national drink of Greece. There are other countries in the World ( 7, I think ) but you should be too drunk to care by now & some of them are scary oppressive dictatorships … like Belgium. I think they drink something like human blood or something … mixed with petrol ( gas ) …. lit on fire. So, I’m not going there … although, if you, presumably the way to state that you were drunk would be ” Aargh ! Aargh! Help ! *gurgle* My face is on fire & I am really scared to drain the lizard *splutter* …. Why is there a lizard in my pants ??? …*cough* … This is a horrible vacation. ” *sad face on fire*. Tune in next time Picklers for more Alcoholic Apinions when I, your host Gus Ling Gorilla will be getting Pickled in Upper-Middle Earth, ordering a foolishly hot curry from a lion in Naania & singing ” Alcohol Is Free ” at the top of my voice in La La La Land.

Toodle-Pip & Bottoms Up Pickled Picklers

Any similarity to countries or facts living or dead is purely coincidental & all information was supplied by a heavily medical sock puppet researching from a pop-up book about kittens )

Ants Not Pants

Q. How does the Marvel cinematic universe get bigger than saving the Earth from a plummeting meteor-like city?  A. It doesn’t. It gets smaller, much, much smaller. ant-697329_640 Paul Rudd is cast as Scott Lang, a Robin Hood style burglar with a masters degree in electronic engineering. We meet him just as he is getting out of prison. Lang struggles to hold on to work due to his prison record and can’t satisfy the conditions laid down by his ex-wife in order to be allowed to see their daughter. Eventually, Lang agrees to join his former cellmate in burglarizing “this old guy’s house”. This opportunity, however, is quickly revealed to be a test baited by inventor of the Antman suit, Dr. Hank Pym ( Michael Douglas ). Pym is running out of time to recruit someone to wear his suit and stop the villain of the piece, Darren Cross ( Corey Stoll ), who is close to replicating Pym’s work. Sounds heavy, doesn’t it? But this is much more of a light humorous ride. Rudd plays Lang with a self deprecating roguish charm as Pym and his daughter ( Evangeline Lilly ) struggle to crowbar the reluctant anti-hero into the role of the Antman. Michael Douglas has plenty of screen time mentoring Lang and skillfully delivering information or backstory while also balancing out the comedy from Rudd and others. Chief comedic support is Lang’s former cellmate ( Michael Pena ) whose puppy like enthusiastic naivety is enjoyably engaging. The villain too, is refreshing. A former jilted prodigy of Pym’s, more driven by unhinged obsessive revenge upon the father figure who abandoned him than designs on money or power. Even the ants are portrayed as lovable brave loyal almost canine companions. ant-304164_640 The introduction to Scott Lang seemed much fuller than many other blockbuster Marvel characters. The humor was disarming, the character development engaging but action and sense of pace didn’t suffer because of it. A particular high point being the contrast of the frenzied action during the climatic battle between miniaturized combatants ( set in the bedroom of Lang’s daughter ) and how ridiculously tame the conflict looks to the normal sized world. If you enjoyed Guardians Of The Galaxy then I think that your money will be safely spent on Antman. Big things come in small packages.

Household Uses For Ammonia

Industrially speaking, ammonia is the underappreciated little brother of bleach. Still, it has a cleaning power beaten only again by bleach. Ammonia is also the torture weapon found in every disgusting chemistry labs we set our foot upon in our school and college days and many people hate ammonia just because of that. But, did you know there are many ways you can actually employ to empty that bottle of ammonia sitting in your chemistry labs. Forget labs, you actually have an unlimited supply of ammonia available at your disposal. Yes! How? Well, pee in a bottle and voila! You have a fresh and ready ammonia liquid with you ready for use. Let’s look at some of the reasons for you to collect your pee (sorry-ammonia) and save yourself from going to a stinking toilet every time you need to eject something from your body.

Humiliate Your Enemies In Battle

You are in the middle of a war and your enemy keeps hurling curses and abuses along with his bullets towards you. You ignore it for a while, but your patience dies out after 10 long seconds. Your blood starts to boil! Adrenaline starts a marathon inside your body. You start thinking of something to put him to shame while delivering him his last supper (the one he takes from your gun). However, your ethics-loving seniors whose favorite task was to humiliate you every $#@king day won’t allow you to do that. What do you do then? Just put down your zip, pee on your loaded cannon and set it on fire. The enemy will get a taste of your body fluid in his dying wounds as ammonia is a highly inflammable compound too.

Clean Your Teeth

It’s true! Ammonia has magical cleaning properties which can be put to better uses then they are now. If you hate yellow teeth and get furious every time your friend laughs at his own disgusting PJ, just offer him your pee (again sorry, ammonia) in a bottle and ask him/her to use it regularly. And you will get favorable results from the first use only. Your friend will stop saying PJs, or every time he tries to say one, there will be an army at your side to ask him to shut his mouth. It will be a win for you in any case. It saves on a trip to the dentist too, although if you want real pearly whites it may be a better idea to have a professional treatment from somewhere like this Dentist in fairfax.

Get Rid of Unwanted Items

Believe it or not, ammonia is highly explosive and you can use this property of it to get rid of all the uncool and unwanted gifts you received on your birthday from your father’s brother’s aunt’s sister’s cousin’s boss’s secretary’s boyfriend. You may not like them, but can’t show your feelings. Also, your family keeps telling you to pretend to be a kind and loving person. So, to save yourself an explanation to anyone, just pour your pee (ammonia, again) to the things you hate and just set it on fire. Science will do the rest. Just be creative enough to fake the cause of a fire to your parents when telling them about the incident.

Put A Fence Around Your Territory

Animals mark their territory by peeing around it so no animals would dare enter in to it. As you WELL know, pee contains ammonia too. And you must have heard your science teacher babbling something about humans being a social animal too. So, if you don’t want to waste your hard earned for-weed-only pocket money on building a fence around your house but still want to keep strangers away from it while you are gone, just get a bottle of ammonia from the market or a steady stream of human-made ammonia and pour it all around your area. Believe me! No one, not a single person would dare to even come close to the house even if you let the doors open. Such is the pleasantness in the smell of ammonia.

How to Make Cement

For a long time now, you have found yourself consistently needing cement. You needed it to plug up that hole in the basement floor that you made by jumping up and down too much and to create a sidewalk that now goes from your backyard, through the woods, and to the local McDonald’s. But now, you are recalling how you had to go to the store and buy cement for those projects, and you would like to be more self-sufficient when it comes to cement from now on. Well, great news! You may not have known this, but you can actually make your own cement! But what is cement made of, you ask? You may be surprised to know this, but it is actually mostly limestone. It super easy to find out more about other natural walling stone that is available! So if you want to make your own cement, you will need the following:
  • Full body mask
  • Limestone
  • A heat source
  • Water
Once you have these ingredients together, you are ready to start the process of making your very own cement!

How to Make Cement – Shield Yourself

The first thing that you should keep in mind is that you are going to be working with some pretty dangerous chemical reactions. So the first thing you should do, before you attempt to make your own cement, is cover yourself up. Make some sort of a full body mask so that you are not actually touching the cement. You can buy one at the store, of course, but where’s the fun in that? Wasn’t the whole point of this entire endeavor to be more self-sufficient? What you really should do is make a full body mask out of whatever you want. You can use Saran Wrap, Play-Doh, broken glass, whatever’s around, really. The only thing you can’t use is cement, because you don’t have that yet!

How to Make Cement – Smash Up That Limestone!

You don’t really have to smash up your limestone, but a bunch of small pieces will heat up much more quickly than one huge rock. So go ahead and smash that baby up. This is your chance! You get to take out all of your frustrations on this limestone without actually causing destruction. So think of whatever is pi$$ing you off in the moment, whether it be your neighbor who keeps blasting his karaoke at 3 a.m. or that teacher who gave you an A- even after you had gone to the trouble to bake him brownies, and go to town on that limestone. You can use tools such as hatchets or sledgehammers, or maybe you’ll be so angry that you’ll be capable of wreaking havoc with your bare hands!

How to Make Cement – Some Like It Hot!

In order to create the limestone powder that you are going to need, you are going to have to heat up your rock to an incredibly high temperature. Ideally, it should be close to 1,000 degrees. Whatever you can do to create heat of this magnitude, go ahead and do. Whether it is creating a campfire, building your own kiln out of Play-Doh, or leaving it out in the hot sun and just hoping that the sun moves a little bit closer to the earth, go for it. Hey, people have been telling you that you look really hot lately. Maybe all you need to do is touch it with your finger (of course still wearing the full body mask) and watch it sizzle!

How to Make Cement – Water Makes Everything Better

Water really is a miracle substance. It may seem incredibly simple, but it is necessary in the making of so many things. Now that you have heated up your limestone, you should have limestone powder. What you will need to do now is mix in water. If you want to get creative, you can add in other ingredients too. If you want colored cement, you can add in food coloring or the remainder of that oil paint from when you tried to make it as an artist. You can also add and flower petals, dog hair, or mildew from your bathtub. Just be aware that we are talking about chemical reactions here, and if you don’t know your chemistry when you are adding in these things, something disastrous could happen. But of course, it doesn’t matter because you don’t even care if it blows up in your face – literally. You just want your cement, made your way.

How to Make Cement – Use It Or Lose It!

Now that you have all of this cement, you need to use it right away. Or at least pretty soon. Because you know, the thing about cement is that it dries when it is exposed to the air. It’s both a blessing and a curse, really. It’s what makes cement so good at what it does, yet it makes it so that you don’t have a whole lot of time to just keep wet cement around like you’ve dreamed of doing your whole life. So go ahead and do whatever you want to do with it! Create a secret underground passageway that goes from your yard into your neighbor’s basement so that you can see what they have been hiding in there all these years. Make a new pair of shoes that will weigh you down and make it impossible for you to leave the house and spend too much money on more shoes. Slather yourself with it and see if it works as well as those other skin masks you have tried! Let your freak flag fly high! Before I forget…after all that amazing cement work you’ve done, don’t forget to get it sealed and secured with a powerful surface sealant, such as a Seal with Ease protector, your cement creation will last forever!

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man, Part 7: Quickbooks Quandary

Previously on Tartan The Ape-Man
Morag is hopelessly lost … in thought … about shoes, Tartan is tickle-attacked by a fabulous snake, there are sex zebras and Dr. Blancface is unhappy with his dogs . Will the zebras perform a stripetease ? If so, will Morag’s administrative skill prove advantageous in calculating the tax due on cash tips? What kind of thongs do zebras wear? Strip away the mystery in the next R rated episode of ….
Tartan The Ape-Man: Quickbooks Quandary…
Tartan The Apeman Story1 Page 7

What Will An Apple Watch Taste Like? Honey Crisp Or Fiji?

0
It’s no surprise that watches have generally fallen out of favor over the years for smartphones and other tiny mobile devices. That’s why the Apple Watch and its arrival in 2015 is quite interesting, because it implores consumers to once again strap a device on their wrists.

What the Apple Watch might taste like may be surprised.

One of the most basic and amusing facets of the Apple Watch is its ability to tell time. Just like anyone would expect of a good watch, this one does display the time down to the millisecond. Forgetful types will be happy to know that the Apple Watch can also remind users of events that they have planned, displaying said event in large text at the bottom of the watch so that it’s impossible to skip out on that business lunch with the boss or drinks with that old, old friend from high school who flew in for the week. In those cases, maybe it’s better not to program in the events in the calendar to begin with. Those that don’t like seeing numbers on their timepiece don’t have to with the Apple Watch, for the display can show up in a variety of ways depending on personal preference. One of these options can even showcase the current temperature and weather just in case the user isn’t already outside watching it rain. This delicious feature is pretty sweet, just like the honeycrisp. Of course, with regular watches, that would be the extent of the fun. With the Apple Watch, users can actually make phone calls, send FaceTime requests, and text others right through the watch. This is a cool chance to look like a spy in a secret agent movie, since the user gets to hold the watch up to their face and murmur their replies. Just in case pretending to be a spy is nerve-racking, the Apple Watch can also track the user’s heart rate, which can be interesting to try before a first date or big job interview. This is even sweeter, just like a Fiji apple. Everyone knows what it’s like to impatiently wait for that perpetually late friend to show up or for the train to finally arrive. Instead of killing time awkwardly checking Facebook for the tenth time in five minutes, try the sketch feature on the Apple Watch instead. With only a finger, the user can doodle whatever their heart desires and even use this as a primitive means of interaction if another user has the Apple Watch and is nearby. Of course, what is any technology these days without apps? Third-party companies can really shine by creating apps for the Apple Watch, such as maps, easy online billing, cabs and transportation options, and even a quick translator in case the user ever finds themselves in a foreign country. You can even personalise the Apple Watch with protective cases and bands from Mobile Mob. Making your Apple Watch personal to you will make it stand out from the crowd and will definitely make it that bit sweeter.

The Apple Watch

certainly seems like it’s going to be quite yummy, although only consumers can decide whether this apple is sweeter or sour. Apple Wrist Watch

‘The Office’ With Classic Michael Scott Clips

You have got to love the The Office TV series.  Always a go to for a laugh

Margaret – Thank You Very Much

Way to go Margaret for making the internet feel a little uncomfortable and strangely happy at the same time. Like a true Monkey Pickler. Wearing clothes just gets in the way of so much   Join the Monkey Pickles Mash Potatoes Club

The Zoo’s Only Gorilla Dies Right Before The Zoo Opens…

Funny Joke Of The Day

The only gorilla at the zoo dies right before the zoo opens one day. The gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner tells one of his workers he’ll be paid an extra $100 a day if he wears a gorilla suit they have in storage and pretends to be the gorilla in the cage until the zoo can afford a new one. Quickly, the new “gorilla” becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the “human-like” gorilla. About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get everyone’s attention back, the gorilla-worker decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lion’s den next to his cage. A large crowd of people gathers, watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lion’s den. Not wanting to die an ignominious death in a gorilla suit, the man starts screaming “HELP! HELP!” A lion quickly pounces on him from behind and whispers in his ear, “Shut the hell up right now or you’re going to get us both fired.”

Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

Monday Bumday

Hang in there … Monday is almost over.

01 monday bumday

What Animal Seems The Smartest?

0
Many people think of owls as wise, but science has shown they probably aren’t all that smart. But maybe you still think they are! Or maybe another animal seems intelligent to you.

What Animal Seems The Smartest?

Don’t Be A Valentine Scrooge!

0

I admit it.  I am a mushy romantic.

And I know for a fact I’m not alone. So, those of you who roll your eyes when someone mentions Valentine’s Day, and argue that it is a contrived holiday – please take note that in actuality Hallmark did not invent it. Mushiness has been around for centuries, and the act of giving one a handwritten card, candy and flowers started in 18th Century England. I know it kinda sucks on February 14th when the only “love” you have is your cat.  And let’s face it – cats were put on this world to receive, not give – so  don’t go expecting anything special from your cute little fur ball.

I remember being alone on Valentine’s Day,

praying someone would send me flowers or a little somethin’ somethin’.  Anything.  Luckily I’m married to someone who appreciates my romantic side, and I’ve not  had to worry about feeling loved on February 14th. (Or any other day of the year, for that matter!) I decorate my house for Valentine’s Day. Yes, I am one of “those” people that love hearts.  And red lips. (Oh, how I love red lips!)   One year, I’d not sent out Christmas cards and sent Valentines instead.  It gave me pleasure – and was a complete surprise to the recipients.  I still have one stalker   unknown admirer, but only one.  Not bad odds for sending out two-hundred Valentines.   Valentine’s Day really isn’t about “forced” love.  It isn’t the one day a year that you finally show someone you care.  No, Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to shower that special someone with more affection than normal.  Even better, it’s a great day to send an anonymous card to a secret crush.  (Now that is a rush, let me tell you!)

If you haven’t done anything yet for Valentine’s Day,

I encourage you to think outside the heart-shaped box.  Yes, chocolates and flowers are wonderful – but how about some tulips and daisies mixed in with the obligatory red roses?  Or maybe a hard to find book or a DVD of 9 ½ weeks paired with chocolate dipped strawberries and a bottle of champagne.  (Yes, there is much more to this suggestion than meets the eye, trust me!) Those of you that are “Valentine Scrooges” or “Heart Grinches”, I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and give someone a Valentine.  Even if it’s to the mailman or (especially) your mother. You will love the feeling of love.  There is something very special about paying love forward.  It truly comes back to bless you on many levels.

So…Happy St. Valentine’s Day to all of you.

Here’s a big hug and kiss.  My address will be listed below for the delivery of the flowers.  And candy. And champagne.  No stress, I promise.    

What To Do When Bored At A Sleepover

If you have ever been bored at a sleepover then don’t worry, you are not alone. In fact, that makes us a million and one. There is nothing as boring as being bored in someone’s house. Scientists have proven that a boring night lasts 24 hours—the morning never comes. And it lasts even longer when your host is as boring as the night. So what should someone do, burn the house? Actually yes, you can light the house up, but not literally. You can do activities that will brighten up your night. But it’s good to be clear about the activities in this case. Most activities we do at a sleep over are age restricted. So we will try and be modest with the activities we will outline below.

Watch A Horror Movie

This is a night like no other. You are probably not used to a boring night. So why don’t you make it a scary one? And by the way, the night is boring because your host is worse than a horror movie, so why not have a substitute? this is a classic, but it is always fun to be scared altogether. To make it even more thrilling, make sure you watch it alone when everybody else is asleep. Make sure it’s in the middle of the night and the lights are off. But since everybody else will be asleep, you should plug in some earphones not to wake people up. This will make it even better.

Try On Clothes

This is as fun as it sounds. If you are at a friend’s house who is of the opposite sex, it will be a night of a lifetime if you tried out his/her clothes and take pictures. If you are not of the same size and shape the better. So if you are an Angelina Jolie skinny type, try out those Monique pants and see how they fit. If you are a guy at a female’s house, this is the time to try out some makeup and see how heavy it feels to have so much on a face. But if you are taking pictures, make sure they don’t end up online. If they do, you will stop having boring nights and instead have sleepless nights.

Eat Some Food

There is nothing as fulfilling as eating in the middle of the night. In fact, this is fun than sleeping next to someone who is dead asleep like a turkey on a tray. Food is always good. Food is life. So eating is giving yourself some life on that boring sleep over. If you are with a lot of girls or simply a guy who likes the kitchen, you can bake some cupcakes or something and give everyone different tasks. Better still, you can bake together. Then in your pajamas, set the table and have a feast like no other.

Sneak Out

This is creepy right? And most of the people who did this ended up with a pan fixed on their heads. But if you are careful not to be mistaken for a thief, you can actually pull this out and have the best night. So get out of your bed in the middle of the night when everybody is dead asleep and sneak into the kitchen. Grab a drink while you are at it and eat something. Go to the balcony and be so careful not to drop anything that will awaken your host. It is fun when no one in the house notices your activities.