Household Uses For Boric Acid: Zombie Edition
Just when you think you’ve gotten then entire house cleaned up, you hear a little wiggle here, a scratch there. Before you know it you realize that there is a zombie in the corner, happily nibbling on aunt Esters leg. Well, as the saying goes, if you want something done well, you have to do it yourself. A few whacks with a butcher knife and that zombie is history. However, as we all know, zombie corpses can leave traces of bacteria and germs behind. Therefore, it is important to be able to get the stains up as quickly as possible, as well as control the spread of disease and stench as quickly as possible. In such cases, boric acid is your friend.
Ah, The College Life.
As a freshman in college,
I feel like an expert on all things university life.. As I came on campus a week early to scope out this sketchy scene. So here is an article mixed with tips about this campus and campus life. Okay? Okay. (Get it? Okay? No? John Green… anyone? Okay.) Last night a group of friends and I went to a smoking bar (no worries, I don’t smoke, nothing fore passed these lips!), and all was well till we got hungry-I know what you are thinking, now stop thinking it! We did not smoke. So, I guess the first tip is scope out the area for a burger joint, or Taco Bell. We walked half a mile till we found a joint that was open. #ThankGodForRally’s.Tip number two!
TWERK CONTESTS!!!! don’t even get me started! lets just move on. But in all honesty, it depends on who you are, and if you can/’t shake what yo mama gave ya. and enjoy twerking… By all means, be my guest. Being in college is a totally surreal experience if you are an introvert, like myself. It’s almost as if everyone is just a raging bunch of banshees and you are the only civilized banshee in the bunch of.. banshees.. okay. Well that isn’t exactly what I meant. It’s as if you are in a zoo, right? and its your first time at a zoo, and you don’t know where very many thing are so you ask a zoo keeper what the heck TCCW stands for, and the zoo keeper tells you Thomas Complex Central Wing, then you ask the zoo keeper where that is and they tell you all the way up the hill past Preston, and you are looking at your map and thinking does this lady knew that this is my first time searching for TCCW and I have not a single clue where Preston is, or who he is, or if he is a building, or what animals are housed there – which! quick to add, is where the elephants are housed, why else would I want to go to TCCW!? Anyway sometimes you have to tell the zoo keepers that it is your first time being at the zoo, or if you zoo is extremely hilly like mine. look for the zoo keeper, their thighs re usually bulked bit and you know who is a senior zoo keeper and who isn’t. So, how do you not get lost in the zoo what we all like to call College/University? You keep a map on you, then you know where the pigs are, the alpacas, and most importantly, the monkeys- I hear they love pickles, a little bird told me. Check with the head honcho and see of your zoo offers these cool pens that have pull out maps of the zoo in them.Tip Number Three!
Meal Plans! If you know you can eat one of those elephants by CH but you don’t buy a meal plan of 20 a week or something, thwn I don’t want ot hear your tummy though your nose, alright? Meal plans are mandatory if you are a new panda on the block, however it’s nice t keep some bamboo in your dorm room if you could eat a whole elephant! I tend to keep oats, and milk, because I like horse food and cows breast milk, like tons of other people. Anyway, lets sum up this zoo in a few short tips.wear walking shoes
Come on, we all know your hoofs get tiredkeep a bottle of water on you
We are all need to stay hydrated, water you drink with your hands, or with your lips or tongue… or what ever else you drink with(?)keep a snack on you!
we are all piggies, we all have piggie dreams. Alright, there is your view of College freshman! I start school tomorrow but I already have my expert status, as instates by my four sock monkeys upon my bookshelf- your argument is invalid! The vote was unanimously I am not an expert freshman, and I haven’t had my first day of school yet. All jokes aside, if you are a new person at the zoo, keep your head up and ask plenty of questions about the campus! Happy School year you animals!Crossing A Lion
Crossing A Lion / Stop Lion To Yourself
It’s a jungle out there.
Literally, that is what is outside our offices. So, as we watch wild pickles herding across the Savannas of Maple Grove, Monkey Pickles is sensitive to the outrage sweeping the internet
about the controversial demise of Cecil the lion.
Firstly …. BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!
Hunting for sport is questionable to begin with. You can get that thrill for your ego in other nonlethal ways.
Secondly … to hunt, legally or otherwise, a species whose numbers are dwindling is extra sketchy.
So …….. BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! … again.
That said, does Walter James Palmer deserve the full force of the internet backlash ?
It is alleged that in July Palmer traveled to Zimbabwe near the Hwange National Park. Once there, with the aid of a local farmer and a local hunter, an animal carcass was strapped to their vehicle which was then driven to just outside of the boundary of Hwange National Park. Hunting inside of the park is not legal but the plan appears to have been to lure a lion outside of that protected zone … and that is the trap Cecil wandered into.
Palmer’s claims that he put his trust in the locals who had arranged the hunt and hunting permits but his defense of ignorance feels pretty disigenuous given the grusome account of Cecil’s death, that Palmer allegedly paid $50,000 for the “experience” and that the group is reported to have attempted to hide Cecil’s tracking device.
You do not look like an innocent man who has gone through all the proper channels and if somehow you are then it is difficult to believe that you were so naïve to at no point did you think,
” Hhmm … This doesn’t feel totally legit, maybe I should call it off. “
Worse still is that if a new lion moves in to take over Cecil’s pride, it will likely kill his cubs.
Not responsible hunting, Mr. Palmer.
Hopefully, Palmer will think hard about his life choices and given his first plea for clemency, he may want to think a little longer before offering an explanation of his actions.
That said, vilifying one guy is perhaps ducking a bigger issue. There are many equally valid stories that do not catch the media’s interest. Destroying one individuals life because of one admittedly huge mistake is the level of reaction that can create a martyr instead of an example. Outrage is easier than getting involved in constructive support of wildlife. Write to your congressman about the import of big game trophies. Spare a dollar or two for the WWF.
Singling out this one despicable case without addressing the underlying issues is like throwing eggs at Tom Cruz’s house after reading that he eats Frosted Flakes on account of their policy of pressing a fresh tiger on to the design of each cereal box, while other people throw eggs at you because you are not throwing cage free chicken eggs. You may be missing your target.
Banana Anatomy
When you think of a banana’s anatomy, chances are you don’t consider the term “leathery berry” or “finger.” That’s because you haven’t been thinking about banana anatomy enough in your day-to-day life; we’ll forgive this blasphemy and teach you a thing or two about the anatomy of a banana!
Bananas are a starchy, sweet botanical berry (yes, it’s a BERRY!) and edible fruit that come from flowering plants aptly name the banana plant.
The banana plant grows from a “corm,” which serves as a sturdy underground banana plant stem to survive harsh weather conditions, like a drought or extreme cold. It is essentially the bulb of the banana plant, although they are built of solid tissue vs. the layered scales of a bulb. A cluster of bananas is called a “hand,” and a single banana is called a “finger,” which is a concise yet mildly unappetizing way of describing their growth patterns. Each hand consists of about 10 to 20 fingers. The outer layer of the banana, best known as the peel or skin of a banana, protects the soft inner portion of the banana. In between the peel and the soft fruit in the anatomy of a banana are thin membranes called phloem bundles. The phloem bundles are the part of banana anatomy that transports sucrose (sap) and other soluble organic compounds. Essentially, the phloem bundles grab sap made through photosynthesis, and bring it to parts of the banana that do not have photosynthetic properties. In some ways, this part of banana anatomy mimics the way our veins and arteries carry blood through our bloodstream! The fibers of phloem bundles in the anatomy of a banana can be used to make fabric, paper, or baskets.Wild banana anatomy is drastically different than the typical banana anatomy we are accustomed to in our everyday lives.
The wild anatomy of a banana consists of mostly large, inedible seeds surrounded by some starchy pulp: not exactly the consistency we are looking for in a grab-and-go fruit. The above photo of wild banana anatomy is just the tip of the iceberg: there are many variations of banana anatomy! Take, for instance, the Musa velutina, or the hairy pink banana: This adorable species of seeded banana has fruits 3 inches long (SQUEE!), covered in pink skin with vellous “hair.” The banana anatomy consists of edible fleshy pulp, and a multitude of seeds that are extremely hard- like chip-your-tooth hard.Through years of scientific breeding and testing artificial selection, mutations would arise that were actually beneficial to the edibility of banana anatomy.
The domestication of the banana meant that the the wild banana would need a sleek new physique and new banana anatomy to ap-PEEL to the average grocery shopper. The Cavendish banana- or Musa acuminata– emerged as the front-runner for the most consumer-friendly banana anatomy. The Cavendish banana anatomy is soft and sweet, with small, sterile seeds in the middle of the banana, promoting the overall aesthetic and edibility of the fruit. The skin of a this domesticated banana goes through an artificial ripening process to give it the quintessential bright yellow color we associate with a nice, ripe banana at the grocery store. Without this process, the Cavendish banana anatomy starts as a green-yellow color and ripens to brownish-yellow. The coolest part about the anatomy of a banana ripening process: ripened bananas fluoresce in BLUE when exposed to UV light! This fluorescence depends on the chlorophyll breakdowns in the banana peels: green, unripe bananas do not have the same fluorescence as their ripe counterparts. The same decreased fluorescence occurs with over-ripened bananas.Why is fluorescence even a thing in banana anatomy?
According to a 2010 study called “Blue Luminescence of Ripening Bananas,” there are two suggestions:- The fluorescence actually helps some animals find the perfect banana ripeness! Because some animals have a large field of UV vision, the fluorescence on the banana peel seems to correlate with this ability, allowing these animals to see a vivid shade of blue when looking for the best, most edible bananas.
- The FCC’s (fluorescent catabolites of chlorophyll, or intermediates of chlorophyll breakdown) in the banana peels may be related to more important roles in the internal world of banana anatomy, not only just for the breakdown of chlorophyll.
Banana Anatomy Health Benefits
Literally every aspect of banana anatomy is edible. The banana peel, although fluorescent, is completely edible. In fact, in many parts of the word, it’s eaten as frequently as the fleshy interior! A banana peel contains vitamins B6 and B12, magnesium, potassium, fiber, protein, and other compounds that are beneficial to health. Because the banana peel is not as sweet as banana flesh, it is usually served cooked, boiled, or fried. As far as the interior pulp of the banana, it seems that the anatomy of a banana is chock-full of anti-oxidants and healthy content. One of the most talked-about positive attributes of banana anatomy is its high potassium content. Potassium helps your nerves function, heartbeat stay regular, move nutrients into cells and waste products out of cells. The mineral can also help balance blood pressure by negating some of sodium’s harmful effects. There are many other aspects of banana anatomy that are great for your health! One banana can provide almost 10% of a daily fiber requirement, making them great for regularity and helping to curb food cravings. Bananas also contain Vitamin A, which improves and maintains vision, and vitamin B6 is essential for great sleep, weight loss, and protects against type 2 diabetes. As you can see, banana anatomy is not for the faint of heart; it is a broad topic with many different compelling directions to dive into. You’ll never look at the anatomy of a banana the same way again! Source: Study, Source: Banana Seeds, Source: Banana Facts, Source: Banana Nutrition, Source: Potassium, Source: BananasWeight-Loss Diet
Below is a generalized weight-loss diet plan. This is not catered to anyone’s exact specifications and this is more of a set of guidelines than a customized diet plan. If you would like to get a customized weight-loss plan of your own please contact us.
Meal 1
3-4 egg whites
1/2 cup oatmeal
1 scoop protein powder
Meal 2
3-5 oz lean protein (white fish, chicken, ground turkey)
1/2 cup sweet potatoe
1 cup green vegetables
Meal 3
Same as Meal 2 plus protein shake
Meal 4
3-5 oz lean protein (white fish, chicken, ground turkey)
1 cup green vegetables 1 tsp olive oil
Meal 5
Protein shake or 3-4 Egg Whites
Second Chance Addictions
Instead of a pot filled with gold,
one thrift store in Seattle got a bag filled with pot. (Link Here) At an undisclosed store an employee found a 2.5 pound bag of some sweet ganja. Now sure some are thinking, ‘Well that’s dumb. How can that help anyone?’ While some others are thinking ‘Sometimes, all you need is weed.’ While they’re quickly getting their rolling papers out to start building a fat one.Mr. Jeromia Dooblin, a frequent thrift store shopper
has taken this dubious (or doobious) event and decided to branch out with it. Dooblin has decided to open his own thrift store that specializes in used and unused drug and alcohol paraphernalia.“It’s going to be called ‘SECOND CHANCE ADDICTIONS.”
Dooblin said. “Why waste any unused pot, booze, cigarets, or any other drugs just cause someone may be quitting.” the store owner explained. But isn’t that part of the addiction recovery process? Dooblin paused scratched his bushy red beard and took a puff of his cigar. “Sure I guess. But why throw it all away when someone else may can use it? And sometimes the addict relapses. They can come into my store and buy it back for half of what they first spent.” So what is ‘Second Chance Additions’ accepting?- Marijuana, any size amount.
- Alcohol of all kinds. Used and unused. (alcohol is self sanitizing the store owner explained)
- Flasks, beer mugs, beer holders, and kegs all new or used
- Bongs any kind, bubblers, pipes, herb grinders, papers all new or used
- Cigaret packs full or half, cartons, tobacco, rolling papers, cigars, and smoking pipes new or used
- NO illegal drugs or paraphernalia
Is ‘Second Chance Addictions’
taking advantage or exploiting addicts and their problems? “Hey, we’re all addicted to something.” Dooblin said. “I think we make too big a deal out so called addictions.” Dooblin continued making quotation marks with his pudgy fingers. They continued, “I feel like live and let live. Don’t make outcasts out of these people. They’re grown, and should be able to get a deal on some goods if they can.”Dooblin drove me to the building where
the new drug and alcohol thrift store was going to be. I asked while looking over the just being renovated building, if he had or will he be purchasing licenses to sell these products. Dooblin was quite for a long moment. He looked hard at me with his beady blue eyes and said, “Ah dang!”Time Flies By…
Here is a great waste of time message that came across. We dont take credit for creating this just take credit for bloggin it 🙂 Only a true ceritifed goofball would come up with this. HAHAHAH You could totally mix it up and add in some flies, beetles etc.. to make a really great story.. Any takers?
What to do when you are bored at work…
1. Kill a few flies (look at the size of these!)
2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour.
3. Once they are dry, pick up a pencil and paper… Let your imagination flow.
Most Annoying Kid In The World
Some kid you definitely would like to squish.. Joe Cartoon is a classic and should most be read when drunk. It was the first on the scene that caused viral madness with funny cartoons and flash based interaction. Its always good to go and waste some time at Joe Cartoon Joe Cartoon use to be hosted on its own website but the owner has sorta taken a leave of absence from the whole series. heck it was founded in 1998 !! But the world still thanks them for bringing the crazy.
One Day, A Man’s Wife Disappeared In A Boating Accident…
Funny Joke Of The Day
One day, a man’s wife disappeared in a boating accident in the Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia. The day after his wife disappeared in the bay, the man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. “We know it’s late, sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the Mounties. “Tell me! Did you find her!?” the husband shouted. The Mounties looked at each other. One said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?” Fearing the worst, the ashen-faced husband said, “Give me the bad news first.” The second Mountie said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.” “Oh my god!” exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?” The Mountie continued, “When we pulled her up, she had six 25 lb snow crabs and 12 big lobsters clinging to her.” Stunned, the husband demanded, “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news?!” The Mountie answered, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!
(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)How To Win At Checkers Every Time
If chess is the sport of kings, then checkers is the sport of grandpas sitting on front porches. At its core, checkers is basically a more complicated version of Tic-Tac-Toe, in that it almost always ends in a draw and that the only winning move is not to play.
But if you’re looking for ways to completely decimate your elementary school acquaintances, then here is a great guide to winning at the dumbest game ever.