Wacky Racers: Rick Pe? … Rick P? … Er … Oops!

If you are going to be 21 by the time the next election rolls around or if your ancestors fought for American Independence in the 16th Century revolution or if you dislike barking carnival acts run by dogs, Hercules and Demagoguery, then Rick Perry may be the candidate for you.
Wacky races white-house Perry
1. Campaign Goals:
To win the Republican nomination, to be elected President and …. Geez! … What was the other thing?
 
 
2. What’s Different?:
Glasses!
Many speculate that Perry has the bearing of a man twice as intelligent as when he last ran for President although others maintain that his IQ score would remain unchanged regardless of what you multiplied it by.
 
 
3. Friends:
Previously played Chandler in Friends.
 
 
4. Famous:
Famous For inventing Perry Perry Chicken.
 
 
5. Siblings:
Brother to Luke Perry and Chuck Berry.
 
 
6. Stance On Gun Control:
Believes a good strong stance is essential … if you’re wobbling about all over the place you can’t hit anything.
 
 
7. Rumors:
Denies rumors about having a small periwinkle. Perry has been dogged by environmental groups for years, groups that claim a trouser pocket is not moist enough for a small crustacean to survive or … shouldn’t be.
 
 
8. Zombie In Chief:
In 2012, Rick was of the belief that Woodrow Wilson ( 1913 – 1921 ) was issuing executive orders as recently as 2002. Political analysts speculate that the governor may have confused the phrase “second term ‘ with ” second interment “
 
 
9. Lone Star State:
Upon taking office as Governor of Texas in 2000 there is evidence that staff covered up Perry’s attempts to order more stars for the state’s night sky.
 
 
10. Favorite Song:
Oops! I did it again.

Last-Minute Gifts for Dad

If you’re like us (and you probably are!) then you still haven’t bought Father’s Day gifts yet. So, we scoured the web for some fun, unique gifts for dad! Plus, these are all available with Amazon Prime shipping, so you can still get it delivered by Sunday. Don’t have Amazon Prime yet? Click to sign up for a 30-day free trial: Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial Happy Shopping!

Baxter of California Double Edge Safety Razor Set

$260.00  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • Sleek and stylish chrome plating to put a touch of sophistication to any gentleman’s bathroom counter
  • Razor glides smoothly along the ski, delivering a close, comfortable shave
  • Both handles are made of brass and nickel-plated, then finished in chrome and engraved with a pattern

MiniPresso GR Espresso Maker

$54.90  in stock
2 used from $51.02
Free shipping
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • Manual operation only! No battery/electricity need. Compact, lightweight and versatile, you may use any variety of coffee bean/roast, which will give you more flexibility in trying new flavors.
  • Need to add the boiling water. It can not heat up water. Minipresso GR is your best choice to enjoy up to 50 ml of authentic espresso at home, in the office and on the go.
  • Simple to operate! Add ground coffee to the filter basket with the help of the integrated scoop. Apply slight pressure to level the grind. Add hot water into the water tank. Finally unlock from its travel position the piston and pump a few strokes to pressurize and extract perfect espresso with generous crema.
  • If you have any problem with our products or need help, please feel free to contact us through Amazon. We will respond you in time and give you a satisfactory solution.
  • Note: Accessories are sold separately! Enhance your Minipresso to get the most from it. Enjoy longer espresso, up to 100ml, and protect it from scratches. You can purchase accessories separately from our store.

Rustic Leather Key Chain & Headphone Wrap Handmade by Hide & Drink :: Bourbon Brown

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • VINTAGE-STYLE CORD MANAGEMENT: Add a touch of class to your headphones when you’re not using them with this simple yet stylish Leather Key Chain & Headphone Wrap. Perfect for wrapping up your headphones for when you’re traveling and providing storage in your car or at home. Made with Full Grain Leather and heavy duty brass metal, these are elegant and stylish ways to keep your headphones neat and tidy.
  • MADE WITH HIGH QUALITY LEATHER: These Rustic Cord Keepers are hand-made using only the best material, 100% full grain leather and heavy duty, rustic brass metal snaps ensuring a long lasting, durable yet lightweight home for your cables. Compact enough to fit snugly in your pocket, too.
  • DURABLE METAL KEYRING: Using only the finest heavy duty brass metal, the metal keyring is durable and long-lasting, making it easy to clip your headphones to your keys for convenience and easy access. You’ll never misplace your headphones again.
  • EASY TO USE HEADPHONE CORD WRAP: Our vintage-style headphone wrap is easy to use. Pop one end of your cord through the hole at the top, wrap it up around the middle, and clip the other end through the second slit at the bottom. Not just for headphones either, this item is great for any cables that you regularly use and often find in a tangled mess.
  • MAKES A FUN & GREAT GIFT: This is the easiest stocking filler ever, this gift is perfect for everyone of all ages and sexes. Everyone suffers from the mess of tangled up headphones and other wires, so you absolutely can’t go wrong with this Headphone Wrap as a gift. Hell, spoil yourself while you’re at it.

GOAT STORY Mug, Real leather, 12 oz, Brown

$48.76  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • A special horn-shaped coffee mug holds 12 oz. (350 ml) of your favorite coffee drink.
  • Comes with a set of 2 straps; long and short part, so carrying your coffee mug around is a blast.
  • Holder can easily transform into a stand, which easily enables placing the Mug onto a flat surface.
  • It's BPA FREE and 100% leak proof. No worries about spills and stains.
  • GOAT Mug is creating an exquisite experience from coffee drinking.

Stance Men's Chewie Crew Socks

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • Pair of socks with each featuring Chewbacca design, elastic arch, and ribbed-knit elastic cuff
  • Contrast reinforced heel and toe for durability
  • Dry low-gore seam with deep heel pocket
  • Seamless toe closure for less pressure points

EagleTec KG011 Office / Industrial LED Backlit Mechanical Keyboard (White + Silver)

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • Gaming Keyboard for Home or Office the EagleTec KG010 with 104 Keys and Dust Proof Blue Switches Clicky, medium resistance, audible loud click sound, crisp precise tactile feedback, good for typing and gaming
  • Blue LED Backlit Mechanical Keyboard offering 9 different Backlighting and Brightness Modes the precision engineered keycaps offering crystal clear lettering that doesn't scratch off
  • Aircraft Grade Aluminum Abs Construction the PC Gaming Keyboard is constructed of Aircraft-Grade Aluminum and ABS with plate-mounted mechanical keys and switches that stand up to tough gaming conditions
  • Ergonomic Keyboard, Anti Ghosting All 104 mechanical keys are conflict free (n-Key Rollover), Non-Slip Ergonomic Spill Proof Design. Full Size with Numeric Keypad, Multimedia Keys, WASD Arrows Key Exchange, Lockable Windows key
  • USB Mechanical Keyboard with lights Compatibility Windows 10, 8, 7, Vista, XP, Limited Mac OS keyboard support. Works well with all major Computers Brands and Gaming PCs

Amir Universal Professional HD Camera Lens Kit with 0.45X Super Wide Angle Lens + 12.5X Macro Lens, Clip-On Cell Phone Lens for iPhone 6s / 6 Plus / 5s, Samsung Galaxy & Most Smartphones

$14.97  in stock
2 new from $14.97
1 used from $14.97
Free shipping
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • ✅ SUPER FIT IPHONE LENS KI - Professional HD lens minimizes lens glare, reflection, ghosting and other artifacts for superb clarity. Top-grade aluminum construction increases the durability of the product. Giving you an experience of DSLR quality performance and capture stunning photography
  • ✅ UPDATED 12.5X MACRO LENS FOR PHONE - Designed with 37mm Diameter Thread lens enables you to shoot photos at a distance of 1.18-1.57in from your object. More convenient and powerful to take clear and gorgeous pictures
  • ✅ ULTRA WIDE ANGLE LENS FOR IPHONE - The 0.45x wide angle lens largely increases your wide-angle range. Fit the entire family or the whole team into the picture. Give you a high definition wide angle image without distortion.
  • ✅ WIDE COMPATIBILITY LENS FOR IPHONE - Universal detachable clamp design, work on all popular brands and models of smartphones and tablets or anywhere you can imagine. Soft rubber clip will not scratch or damage your mobile device
  • ✅ NOTE - Wide angle lens is more suitable for shooting a larger scene photos. Please don't let the subject be too close to the lens, because the closer the angle lens is, the more obvious the lens distortion is. It can make you have a good time at home, you can use it to take pictures, take short videos, take volg, yotube, live broadcast, etc.

Withings Activité Steel - Activity and Sleep Tracking Watch -

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • Nokia Health is now Withings. Same products, same team, same commitment to your health. For more information, contact our support.

Rustic Leather All Purpose Utility & Charger Case for MacBook, iPad & Laptop Handmade by Hide & Drink :: Bourbon Brown

$23.99  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • HANDMADE LEATHER UTILITY CASE IDEAL FOR MACBOOK & PHOTOGRAPHY CABLES: This elegant yet unassuming Utility case is the perfect home for your trusty cables. Great for travel or your commute to work, perfect for storage at home and the office.
  • APPEARANCE IMPROVES WITH AGE AND USAGE: The high quality, full grain leather will assume a beautiful and eye-catching patina over time and after frequent use. Like everything with age, it will show both experience and beauty.
  • SLIM AND ATTRACTIVE DESIGN: A great addition to your office to store your cables in style and with class. Unassuming and simplistic in design, you will receive so many compliments that you’ll feel proud and excited to be so tidy.
  • DURABLE WITH DOUBLE STITCHED SEAMS & BROOKLYN-BASED YKK ZIPPER: Made with such high-quality material, these Utility cases are double stitched for durability and the YKK zipper is heavy-duty and world recognized, meaning this case won’t let you down and will last for generations to come.
  • MAKES A GREAT GIFT FOR TECHIES AND STORAGE LOVERS: This is a great gift for your friends and loved ones who love accessories for their electronic devices or just love being tidy and doing it in style.

Brooks Picadilly Day Pack, Black

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • HANDMADE IN ENGLAND - Manufactured by skilled craftsmen using 100 year old traditional techniques and the finest vegetable tanned leather on the planet.
  • VEGETABLE TANNED LEATHER- The Piccadilly is made of the finest 3.5mm vegetable tanned leather.
  • HAND HELD CARRYING- The strap on the top allows the Piccadilly to carried by hand when off the bike.
  • INCREASED STABILITY- The chest strap locks in the Piccadilly for better stability while riding.
  • 18 LITERS- With a total volume of 18 liters, the Piccadilly is perfect to carry binders, files, cell phones, jackets or lunch.

Diageng Key Pete Strong Magnetic Key Holder Hook Rack Magnet - Black (Single)

$1.25  out of stock
18 new from $1.25
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • Key Pete Strong Magnetic Key Holder Hook
  • Strong magnet holds up to 30 keys
  • Attaches to metallic door, fridge or other metal surfaces
  • H8 x W7 x L6cm / H3.2 x W2.8 x D2.4"
  • Fantastic gift for just about anyone!

Cruzy Kuzy Leather Bike Cup Holder Handmade by Hide & Drink

$27.99
$26.49
 in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 16, 2024 4:44 am

Features

  • ATTRACTIVE, VINTAGE-STYLE BEVERAGE HOLDER FASTENS TO ANY BIKE: This stylish and unqiue Cruzy attaches to your bike’s handlebars and allows for easy access to your beverage as you cruise down main street. Takes coffee cups, cans, 12oz bottles (355ml), flasks.
  • INSULATED LINER KEEPS YOUR BEVERAGE WARM OR COLD: The high quality full grain leather acts as an insulating layer that maintains the temperature of your favorite beverage on the go.
  • 100% SOFT RUSTIC FULL GRAIN LEATHER: The Cruzy is hand-made, double stitched and fire branded using only the best material, 100% full grain leather and heavy duty, rustic brass metal rivets ensuring a long lasting, durable yet lightweight home for your favorite beverage on the go.
  • APPEARANCE IMPROVES WITH AGE AND USAGE: The grain of the leather will develop a unique patina over time, with a perfectly normal slight change in the color with age and usage. Keep it clean with a damp cloth, and apply a beeswax leather conditioner to keep its shine. Please note that leather color and textures may vary.
  • MAKES A FUN & GREAT GIFT: The Cruzy makes a great gift to spoil yourself, to surprise your friends. Bike enthusiasts will love this item; the sleek, chic and minimalist look combines excellently with a fixie bike or vintage bike. It’s a sure fire winner.

5 Things That Should Be Scratch & Sniff

I know some headache sufferers growl at the idea of random smells jumping out at them from random places like the hands of smiley salespeople at their friendly department store. I’m bored so I have decided to offer the simple fix to that problem. I think there should be legislation pushing for more scratch & sniff in the world. Just like juicy monkey pickles, these cards stay wrapped up in their own little world until you monkey around with them. On that wise, I was thinking about 5 things that I think should be scratch & sniff. Maybe if we share these on social media someone will get to work on whipping them out in mass.

1. A Classic Book

I can just smell it now; imagine curling up on your favorite hard wood floor with a salty tart and your favorite scratch & smell classic. Here are some suggested readings. First up, why not try JRR Tolkein’s, “The Hobbit” in full odor-o-rama smell. I’ve got a few ideas about how the Orks might turn your stomach. Orwell’s “Animal Farm” would be another great one or how about my favorite in the bunch, Roald Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” oh yeah, bring that one on!

2. Wall Paper

Can’t you just see yourself waking each morning to a wall full of flavorful fruit? How about something like a wall papered room featuring fruit trees that you can scratch & smell anytime you like? That would be way cool, especially for jungle-sick kids and other squirrel ninjas who enjoy climbing.

3. Your Favorite Cook book

This is my best idea yet! I mean just think of it, you’re at home, bored out of your mind and you are starving. If you had a scratch & sniff cookbook you could pull it off the shelf and have a full course sniff meal without lifting a finger—your stomach won’t even have a clue for about 10 minutes. If you are still hungry try to smell a little more the next time.

4. Your Debit Card

Most of us never really see and feel real dollars and cents anymore: for the most part we have gone cashless. So wouldn’t it be cool if your debit card could have the smell of a brand new 100 dollar bill? It’s rarely all about the Benjamins anymore, but a girl can dream about the green.

5. Fake Flowers

Some folks are just determined to play with and decorate using fake flowers. Random thought here—would if help if they were scratch & sniff? I think it just might. This would work really well for the frugal Casanova who wants to splurge on a bright yellow bouquet of FAKE daffodils. All his boo will have to do is give them a good scratch and bam—she can enjoy their lovely, aromatic, and sprayed on goodness. Scratching and sniffing is big fun as long as the laugh is not on you. As I think about it there are a whole lot of things I’d enjoy sniffing; but then again, I’m not like other people, I like wearing red leather jackets with zippers too.

What Would You Do If You Were Invisible For A Day?

0
You wouldn’t have any other superpowers because invisibility should be enough power all on its own, greedy! Would you follow a famous person around and mess with them? Would you try to steal something?

What would you do if you were invisible for a day?

 

Top 10 Places To Hide At Midnight To Avoid A Kiss On New Year’s Eve!

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1. A Bio-safety Level 4 research facility 2. A Super-max prison 3. A Republican Party leadership meeting 4. A Eunuchs convention 5. A North Korean leadership meeting 6. Oral Roberts University 7. Buckingham Palace 8. Vladimir Putin’s Office at the Kremlin 9. A Hermitage 10. A Convent    

Ads That Don’t Make Any Sense: W**kinson’s Sword

Adverts I don’t understand: W**kinson’s Sword????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
The setting is a launderette. An attractive young lady sitting on top of the driers. No surprise there. Never an older lady, whom might have more cause … er … to wash stuff … .Cats,.probably.  But I guess I can let that go.  I mean it would be difficult for her to get up that high in the first place … And, what if she had a fall ? Would that be my fault ?
I wish the advert was different … but I don’t want that difference to be an old lady falling 10 ft off an industrial sized drying unit on to the linoleum with a terrible 70s design ( flared ). Then scrabbles weakly to turn the camera ( which has also fallen over … C’mon! Obviously she’s shooting the ad herself on a hand held camera … She’s an old lady. How much money do you think she’s got ? … She’s at the launderette for goodness sake. ) back upon herself and berates me as she bleeds out.
laundry-fish
” Are you happy now ? … Are you happy **** *********, with what your deranged crusade for fictional age equality in toiletry commercials has wrought ??  My hip is broken …  I’m bleeding all over my clothes … Do you know how difficult that is to get out ? …. I’d just washed them too …. That’s $5 straight down the drain for nothing  … Thanks a lot you jerk … I mean, $5 isn’t bad .. It’s a great little place this actually … but, basically, I’m still a bit p*ssed off … Gerald is going to put me in a home fore sure now.”
And you know that she’s in the launderette all by herself, right ? … ’cause otherwise someone would be holding the camera. 
Then the ad ends, nothing has been said about the razors she was supposed to promote, I know that her fee won’t be paid, so Gerald ( the cheapskate ) buries her in an orange juice cartoon in the back yard, I grow an absurdly long crazy wild beard ’cause I am too wracked with guilt to ever buy a razor again and pigeons nest in my beard. 
I don’t want pigeons nesting in my beard. THEY’RE A LEDGE BIRD …… A ledge bird.
 
Anyway ….. I digress.
 
Okay,
 
The young lady ( who isn’t an old woman ) perched upon the drier, selects a freshly washed dried & folded ‘ lady item’, scrunches it up and playfully launches it at the hunky gent loading / unloading ( he doesn’t know, he wasn’t booked to explain A Brief History Of Time in 15 seconds ) the adjoining drier. 
 
As the he looks up ( ignoring the old lady presumably still bleeding out next to him. He just wanted her drier … Jerk! ) the … ‘lady item ‘ ( possibly, but not necessarily, a slip ) explodes into a shower water accompanied  by ” It’s like a blast of hydration ” as narrated by the king of science himself, Mr. Science.
 
Firstly ….. ” Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa -t ???? “
 
And secondly, … I thought, ‘ Blast Of Hydration ‘ was a Poke’mon attack …. which presumably means that the young lady has a very small house. … Not wonder she is hitting on the guy, he lives in a drier now … or will do as soon as the old lady pops off.
 
Further confusion arises at this point, as on screen is a little disclaimer stating ” Hydrates only during shaving “, so really, as the guy is in a launderette & also not shaving ( shaving only being possible in a designated Poke’mon Battle Arena ) , the ‘lady item ‘ should not bursting with anything.
 
I don’t really get the analogy either. Why would clothes burst into water upon leaving the possession of the the lady ? 
Could the lady be the little mermaid ? Are these be special clothes made entirely of water ? Does she need them to survive ? Is this a cry for help ?
Why is the little mermaid so sad ? *:( sad
 
Alternatively, if the lady is not a mermaid, haven’t her ‘ lady items ‘ just come out of the drier ? Surely they are the last things that could be comprised completely of water. …. I wonder if there is another Transformers movie in the pipeline ?

6 Funny Words That Start With A

This list of fascinating words that begin with the letter A will keep you occupied until you get to the end.

1. Apeshit

You’ve heard this word being used, right? “Don’t let the boss know — he’ll go apeshit!” “Say that one more time, and I’ll go apeshit on you!” What does “apeshit” even mean? Just once, it would be nice if someone would go apeshit instead of just threatening to, so it would be clear what apeshit looks like.

2. Abattoir

This is another word for a slaughterhouse. It’s a great word to use if you want to keep your cows from knowing what’s about to happen to them. If you paint the word “abattoir” in giant letters on the side of your slaughterhouse, the cows might think they’re being herded into a fancy French restaurant.

3. Athazagoraphobia

Athazagoraphobia is the fear of being forgotten. There are lots of phobias out there, and maybe you even have a few. (We sure do.) But the fear of being forgotten is a new one. It sounds pretty serious, though. If you have athazagoraphobia, here are some tips you can use to make people remember you in various circumstances. To prevent people from forgetting to pick you up from class, leave sticky peanut butter handprints all over the passenger window. The driver will say, “Who the hell did this? Oh yeah, it was [insert your name]. I almost forgot them.” To prevent the payroll department from forgetting you at work, stop bathing. (The sense of smell is the nearest sense to memory recall.) The payroll clerk will say, “Let’s not forget to pay [insert your name]. I think s/he may be homeless.”

4. Abdominous

Abdominous is an adjective used to describe having a pot belly. For example, you could say “abdominous pig” instead of “pot-bellied pig.” Or, you could say your husband is abdominous, and he wouldn’t even know that you were referring to his beer belly. You could also use it in an honorary speech about your boss. “My boss is an abdominous man, respected and admired by all.” See, it sounds like a compliment, but really it’s an insult. Just don’t tell your boss. He’ll go apeshit if he finds out.

5. Abraid

This archaic word means the same thing as awaken, so you can use it interchangeably. Abraid sounds scarier than awaken, so it’s both synonymous and ominous. Finally, we may know what caused Sleeping Beauty’s problem. “What time do you want me to abraid you?” asked the genie in the bottle. “What?! Never! I never want to be abraided, whatever that means!” said Sleeping Beauty. “As you wish,” replied the genie.

6. Asinine

When people don’t want to stoop so low as to use the truncated version of this word, they use asinine. It means to be foolish. As in, “Don’t be asinine. Of course I want you to abraid me at a reasonable hour.”

How to Play Double Solitaire

No one loves Solitaire more than you do. You could play that game for hours or even days. In fact, you have actually holed yourself up in your house to play this game for nearly a week in the past. You forgot to eat or sleep because you were having so much fun. But there is one thing you don’t like about this game, and that is the fact that it doesn’t involve interaction with other people. You like other people to be able to witness the awesomeness that is you, especially when you are playing your favorite game in the whole wide world. Well…solution, thy name is Double Solitaire!

How to Play Double Solitaire – History and Background

The origin of Solitaire is not 100% clear. However, it is thought that it started around the end of the 18th century in the Baltic area of Europe. It is thought to be linked to the growing popularity of tarot card readings in fortune-telling – you probably never would have expected that your go-to card game was connected to psychic readings, right? Another very similar game, known as Patience, started close to that same time in the United Kingdom; today, the two games are seen as basically interchangeable. The game was essentially invented in two different places and rose to popularity at a time when rich people had more and more leisure time and were looking for something to do other than twiddle their thumbs. Of course, there were different versions of the game, but they eventually became consolidated into the form of the game that we all know and love today. Fun fact: Solitaire is also known as Klondike. And no, it wasn’t named after your favorite ice cream bar but after the Canadian region that was the location of a gold rush. Although if you want to make the game more fun, you can certainly eat Klondike bars while playing and use your need to honor the name of the game as an excuse for loading up on calories.

How to Play Double Solitaire – The Basics of Solitaire

Whether you are used to playing Solitaire with actual cards or with collections of pixels on your computer that look like cards, the way it is set up is basically the same. Let’s start by explaining how to set up a single game of Solitaire, because the Double Solitaire is just…you guessed it…DOUBLE that! When you are setting up a game of Solitaire, you start by shuffling your cards. You can shuffle them in the way you have seen professionals do on TV, or you can just throw them all up in the air and stack them as you are cleaning them up off the floor – it’s totally up to you. Then, you will set up the cards. There will be seven piles of cards arranged in a row from left to right. Drawing from your shuffled deck without looking at the cards first, you will start by putting the first card on the left face up, and then putting the six others face down. Then, you will put a card face up on top of the second card and put cards face down on top of the five other piles to the right. You will continue this pattern with the rest of the piles, with the piles growing larger towards the right hand side and a face up card on top of each pile. The objective of the game is to get all of the cards to the foundation stacks, which are placed separately. There will be four foundation stacks, one for each suit. You will start each one with an ace in that suit, then put a two on top of the ace, then a three, and so on up until you get to the King. However, you are only able to draw from the cards that are currently facing up and that do not have cards on top of them. The way to expose more cards is to take the face up cards and put them on top of one another – however, you can’t just go willy-nilly with this. The only way you can put a card on top of another card is if it is the other color and one number below. For example, you can put a seven of diamonds on top of an eight of spades. Once you can do no more with the seven piles, you will take sets of three (one on top of the other) from the stack of remaining cards – and then those will be in play as the ‘discard pile.’ Once you can do no more with any of the cards that are on the tops of their piles, draw another set of three cards. It is very possible for a game of Solitaire to be impossible to win – you can end up unable to make any more moves with the foundation stacks left unfilled. If this happens, there is no need to write a letter of protest to the company that made the card deck. You should just understand that it happens sometimes.

How to Play Double Solitaire – Differences Between Single and Double Solitaire

The differences between the Solitaire you have grown to love and Double Solitaire lie in just about every aspect of the game. They’re so similar, yet so different at the same time. In Double Solitaire, there are double the cards, double the players, double the fun – and best of all, double the arguments that will end up in that annoying friend leaving you alone for the next two years because he can’t stand the sight of you! With Double Solitaire, you will need two decks of cards, one for each player. The backs of the decks should look noticeably different, so that you will be able to tell cards from each deck apart at the end of the game. Essentially, you and your opponent will be playing your own individual games of Solitaire. There are a couple of different approaches you can take to this game. If you want to keep things simple, you can just individually play your own games of Solitaire – whoever wins their own game first is the winner among the two of you. This version of the game is advised for people who do not enjoy interacting with each other. Perhaps, if you are being forced to spend time with an estranged friend who stole your banana shaped watch, this will be the way to go. But if you want more of a challenge, and you want this to be more of a social activity rather than just two people playing a solitary card game in the same room, you can go with the way this game is typically competitively played. This involves a communal foundation area between your individual Solitaire layouts. In this area, you will have the eight foundation stacks (remember, two decks of cards mean two of each suit!) on which you will both be building. When both players have no moves left that they can make, the game will be over. Then, what you will do is sort out the cards in the foundation stacks and count the number of cards from each deck. Whoever has the highest number of cards in these stacks is the winner.

How to Play Double Solitaire – Taking Turns

There are a couple of ways that you can go about taking turns when you are playing Double Solitaire. If you choose to take turns, traditionally, the player who has the lower card on their pile of one will be the one to start. If it’s a tie, it’ll be whoever has the lower card face up on their pile of two (and so on). Just as is the case in regular Solitaire, you use your turn to make a series of moves. Basically, your turn is over when you either can’t or decide not to make any further moves without drawing more from the discard pile. You can also choose not to take turns and play the game just as described above, but only using one hand (you will be holding the deck in one hand and playing the game with the other). Basically, you play as quickly as possible. When you can’t do anything with the cards that are face up, you will put the top three cards of your stack onto the discard pile and keep playing. You can actually do this with as many players as you want. The name “Solitaire” won’t really make much sense anymore, but where’s the fun in making sense anyway? In both cases, the game is over when one of the players has gotten all of their cards to the foundation stacks or when there are no more moves to be made by anyone in the game. If you want to create an extra incentive to be at the top of your game here, you can arrange for the winner to get a prize. The nature of that prize is entirely up to you and your opponent. Perhaps the loser will have to pay the winners’ taxes from now until the end of time, or endure a savage beating from the winner with a wiffle ball bat. Whatever you crazy kids agree on will be what goes!  

St. Patrick’s Day Shirts That Don’t Suck

St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and whether you’re going to a St Patty’s parade, bar hopping with friends, or eating corned beef and cabbage at home, you know you want to look your best! We scoured the interwebs (it’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it) and tracked down the most adorable St. Patrick’s Day shirts to keep you looking fly, no matter how you plan to celebrate. Check them out!

St. Patrick’s Day Shirts

The sweet St. Patrick’s Day Collection at Ily Couture, featuring the world’s cutest “lucky” hoodie, is a great place to start your hunt for the best St Patrick’s Day shirts for women and kids. Plus, plus, plus, get 15% off Ily Couture St Patrick’s Day Collection. Use promo code: LUCKYYOU Another great shopping option for funny/cute/amazing St. Patrick’s Day shirts is Amazon. When it comes to online shopping, y’all know Amazon is king and they certainly don’t disappoint in this category! From cute to cheeky to NSFW, here are some of our favorite St. Patrick’s Day shirts.

Studded Shamrock 3/4 Sleeve

$25.00  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 23, 2024 3:47 pm

Features

  • The Raglan shirt is unisex, we recommend that women order a size smaller.
  • Add a pop of sparkle & shine to your St. Pats wardrobe with this rhinestone design.
  • Lightweight and breathable fabric for all-day comfort
  • Image is printed using metal raised studs giving it a unique appearance.

Good Luck Yourself - Green Shamrock

$8.95  out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 23, 2024 3:47 pm

Features

  • 100% PreShrunk Cotton for a Cool Comfortable Fit
  • Design on the Center of the Front Chest
  • Fully Machine Washable

Not Irish But My Whiskey Is

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 23, 2024 3:47 pm

Features

  • Designed by the creative minds of Ripple Junction
  • Lightweight, Classic fit, Double-needle sleeve and bottom hem

Tap That Photo Keg

 out of stock
Amazon.com
as of April 23, 2024 3:47 pm

Features

  • Designed by the creative minds of Ripple Junction
  • Lightweight, Classic fit, Double-needle sleeve and bottom hem

Mens Ask Me About My Leprechaun

$9.99  in stock
Amazon.com
as of April 23, 2024 3:47 pm

Features

  • CLOVERLOAD OF COMEDY: Get ready to shamrock and roll with our assorted Saint Patrick's Day t-shirts. Whether you're Irish or just Irish at heart, these tees are packed with novelty humor, hilarious leprechaun antics, and witty St. Paddy's puns. Perfect for adding a dose of laughter to your Irish celebrations and showing off your green spirit.
  • IRISH HUMOR THAT'S PURE GOLD: Our collection of Saint Patrick's Day t-shirts is a treasure trove of laughter. Featuring a pot of comedic gold at the end of every rainbow, these shirts combine the luck of the Irish with side-splitting humor. From cheeky leprechauns to mischievous four-leaf clovers, they're the perfect attire for raising a pint and celebrating the festive spirit of St. Patrick's Day.
  • MEN'S FIT: We made our T Shirts for guys into the perfect combination of comfy and awesome! It’s a stretchy, super soft material so you can depend on its comfort as well as style. To ensure the perfect fit, check out our men’s tee size chart.
  • PREMIUM DESIGN: All of Crazy Dog's awesome tees are designed and printed in the USA with the highest grade ink on state-of-the-art equipment. Made with 100% pre-shrunk poly cotton blends, our products are designed to last and won’t fade over time. Our durable and yet soft material ensures a comfortable fit. If you find yourself between sizes, consider ordering one size up for your ideal fit.
  • SATISFACTION GUARANTEED: Our t-shirts are crafted with the utmost care and dedication to quality. We stand proudly behind each product, offering a satisfaction guarantee. If our shirts don't meet your expectations, we promise a hassle-free process for returns or exchanges, ensuring your complete happiness with every purchase.

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man, Part 5: Cry Tearrier

Previously on Tartan The Ape-Man
Auditions go badly at Monkey Glee Club, Derek suggests The Water Jets get thongs but finds there isn’t much backing and Gaston reveals himself. Who will reveal themselves next? Which aisle needs the most cleaning up? Did the crocodiles cry a river and if so, is it a real river? These questions and more will be avoided in the next episode of ….
Tartan The Ape-Man: Cry Tearier …
Tartan The Apeman Story1 Page 5

Pickled Poetry: Mind Your P’s & Poops

There’s no rhyme nor reason as to why I am up this early . . . So here’s a rhyme,
Mind Your Ps & Poops
  monkey poet 2 border    

A Lawyer Had Just Bought A Fancy New Car…

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Funny Joke Of The Day

A lawyer had just bought a fancy new car and was eager to show it off to his colleagues. All of a sudden, an 18-wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver’s side door just as he was getting out. “Nooooooo!” he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling, “My door was just ruined by some foolish driver!” “You’re a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman. “Yes, I am, but what does that have to do with my car?!” the lawyer asked. “Ha! You lawyers are so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop asked. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed, “My Rolex!”  

Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

Finding Nimoy

Kkhhaaaaaannn !!!

Leonard Simon Nimoy lived long and prospered between March 26 1931 and February 27 2015. He has now boldly transported to the bridge of the USS Beyond and join her crew in their never ending mission of well deserved rest. Logically, he will be missed. Here are a few Nimoy highlights

If I had a hammer I’d smash this record.

William Shanter was infamous for terrible singing but Nimoy was responsible for some notorious tunes too. In particular, If I Had A Hammer and The Ballard Of Bilbo Baggins scar my memories.

Nervous Kiss

Before deciding upon Spock’s trademark attack, The Vulcan Nerve Pinch, Nimoy experimented with the Vulcan Wedgie and The Vulcan Hickie. … Well … maybe it happened that way.

Take the Hellmans Mr. Sprout

Nimoy was a vegetarian, as was Mr. Spock, which made Nimoy the perfect choice to play the role.

Spock Smash!

Mr. Spock had green blood but it would have been a mistake to make him angry because … Vulcans are experts at suppressing their emotions and it would have taken you all day to irritate him.

Is this Tribble house trained ?

After the original Star Trek was canceled, Nimoy opened an exotic pet shop although it is thought that the pets sold were predominately native to Earth.

Waaaah – t ?

Nimoy directed several films including Three Men And A Baby

Bank Right Mr.Spock

For years Canadians have been transforming the picture of Sir Wilfird Laurier ( Canada’s first French speaking Prime Minister ) into Mr. Spock on their bank notes. Since Leonard passed away the practice has skyrocketed in a quirky tribute to the departed actor. Although the artistic transformation does not invalidate the money, the Bank of Canada frowns upon defacing bank notes and points out that retailers may refuse to accept the currency. … Those cold hearted inhuman bankers.

Picture This

Nimoy studied photography at UCLA and was also a published poet.

Science, Baby

Mr. Spock was the USS Enterprise’s Second Officer / Science Officer and not the Baby And Child Care Officer.

Las Vegas Club Crawl Of The Month

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Bright lights, Big City, Colorful Drinks,

The Chance To Win A Million Dollars …. It is no wonder that we are drawn to Las Vegas like party bugs to a zapper. We are not saying that without a guide that you will be attacked by tigers, that is highly unlikely, but why take the chance when experienced hands can lead you to an all l but guaranteed good time. It’s not just that you get to go to the coolest venues though. To Las Vegas Club Crawls you are a VIP, & you get VIP treatment. Various exciting ticket options include VIP Access, No waiting in line, Free Drinks, Free Food. You can even purchase a single ticket for every on the calendar. Sweet! Events take place at 7.00 PM ( PDT ) every day except Monday. … but Monkey Pickles does recognize that if any day is party resistant, that day is Monday.

Partying every night

isn’t part of a well balanced 7.00 PM breakfast but Las Vegas Club Crawls can lay on a night to remember or even an epic week that your buddies may have to describe to you hopefully without the aid of security camera footage. So, Why not treat yourself ?   club crawl

Do’s and Don’ts of Car Washing

Don’t be a softie and go to the automatic car wash to wash your car. Use the do’s and don’ts we’ve assembled below to wash your car the right way! Car washing should be an experience that every car owner gets to enjoy. With the tips below, you can enjoy it, yes, but your neighbors can also get an eyeful – which is really the point of having neighbors, right? But if you do decide to go for an automatic car wash the insurance gives my friend peace of mind. If you were interested in learning more about car wash insurance, Insurance 4 MotorTrade gave me some really great insight into what these types of policies cover. There are loads of different types of insurances that you can get with your car. So it’s a good idea to take a look at car insurance quotes to help you find what is best for you. The first thing to do is get rid of all your inhibitions about washing your car in your driveway. Just park the car and start loading up on all your supplies. Your neighbors will get the hint soon enough, and that’s fair warning that you’re going to be sucking up the water supply on the whole street. If anyone needs to take a shower or use the john, they better get to it, because here you go.

DO use an abrasive scouring pad

All that nonsense you may have read about babying your paint finish is a load of gobbledygook. If cars had to be treated delicately they wouldn’t be much use driving on the road, would they? Use a heavy hand and scrub with all your might. Really use some elbow grease and some abrasive cleanser if you have it. If you see a few scratches develop, who cares? It’s either going to be you or the runaway shopping cart and at least this way you get to pick and choose where your car looks like crap.

DON’T hesitate to use all the water possible to wash your car

Of course, the best time to wash your car at home is in the middle of a water drought, when you can really show your neighbors who’s boss. When you have to run back inside to get more soap and supplies, leave the garden hose running at high pressure, so the water runs down the asphalt driveway and into the street. The local kiddies will appreciate the puddle of water that develops in front of your house and they can frolic in it when they get off the school bus, getting their uniforms and books soaking wet.

DO dress scantily for the car washing occasion

For the ladies, a thin white t-shirt will do nicely – the kind you get from those cheap import shops for a few bucks. Pair that with a skimpy pair of Daisy Dukes. Your male neighbors will really appreciate seeing a thing of beauty right there on the family neighborhood street. For you men out there, please don’t bother to wear a shirt. Your female neighbors will simply be undressing you with their eyes anyway. Jeans will do nicely for the bottoms, but leave the belt in the closet.

DON’T forget to play some really loud music while you’re washing your car in the afternoon

This will let all the street know that you’re a man of leisure, and you have all afternoon to rock out to Lynyrd Skynyrd if you’re feelin’ it. Best thing is to set up some massive speakers in the yard, too, so all the neighbors can hear it from any location on the street. If you have a big bass sound system in your car, you can use that, too, so the vibration travels from your driveway all the way into your lazy neighbors house where the baby is trying to sleep. What are some of your do’s and don’ts for washing your car? Let us know in the comments below. We might use them, but probably we won’t. And lastly, if you’d prefer to have a professional pressure wash your car instead, check out services similar to Commercial pressure washing service in Houston. My friend told me they do a brilliant job.