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How to Make Gummy Bears

Monkey Pickles
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How to Make Gummy Bears
You’ve always loved gummy bears. What’s not to love? Adorable little bears that also taste great. So great that you never even felt guilty about eating the adorable bears. But alas, there are no more gummy bears in your local store. The store manager just had a huge fight with the owner of the gummy bear factory about which gummy bears are the best ones, red or green. The factory owner decided that the only way to get the store manager to appreciate red gummy bears is to take all gummy bears away from him entirely. But you shouldn’t have to suffer because of someone else’s dispute. The great news here is that you can learn to make your very own gummy bears right in the comfort of your very own home! To make these delicious treats, you’ll want to have the following:
  • Water
  • Sugar
  • Gelatin
  • Your favorite flavoring agents
  • Teddy bears
Now that you have all of these ingredients together, let the magic begin!

How to Make Gummy Bears – There’s Always Room for Jell-O!

Basically, the first part of this process involves making Jell-O. The classic recipes call for unflavored gelatin, but why do this when you know more flavor means better candy? You just mix the gelatin with cold water, and then you turn up the heat so that you can get all of it to dissolve. Heating up the liquid will make it so that you can dissolve more and more of the gelatin, so why not just put in as much as possible? More gelatin means…you guessed it…more gummy bears! If you have a truckload of gelatin anywhere around, just find a pot big enough to hold all of it (more like a vat) and then go to town!

How to Make Gummy Bears – Induce a Sugar High!

What you’re technically supposed to do is first put in unflavored gelatin, then flavored gelatin. But where’s the fun in that? Instead of doing that, you have already decided to nix the unflavored crap and just use flavored gelatin, so the only thing left to put in is more sugar. You want these gummy bears to really have you bouncing off the walls. And by that, you literally want to be bouncing off the walls. You are going to attach coils to your shoes so that you can actually try springing yourself off of them after you eat these gummy bears.

How to Make Gummy Bears – Getting Creative with Flavoring

Traditionally, gummy bears come in fruity flavors. But since you are in control here, you can make these gummy bears taste like whatever you want. If you have a penchant for soy sauce, why not try dumping some soy sauce into the mixture and seeing what happens? Who says that savory gummy bears can’t be good? And hey, this way, you won’t need to wait until dessert to have them. Because they’re not sweet, you can actually just eat these soy sauce flavored gummy bears for dinner. Want a challenge at the dinner table? Dump in a whole bunch of wasabi as well.

How to Make Gummy Bears – Sculpting Time!

After you’ve mixed all the ingredients, it is time to actually make them into the cute little bears you’ve always loved. Of course, the easiest way to do this is to use little bear shaped molds, but if you want to give yourself more of a challenge, you can just try sculpting them by hand. Use your favorite teddy bear for reference of what each one is supposed to look like when it’s done. Or if you want to try something really out there, just dump the gummy mixture all over your teddy bear. Once it has reasonably dried, extract and rescue your teddy bear, and then put the hollow bear shaped gummy thing back together and fill it up with more of the gummy mixture. You know your teddy bears come to life when you are sleeping, after all, and wouldn’t it be nice to give them a real sense of purpose, rather than just having them do nothing but sit around all the time and look cute?

How to Make Gummy Bears – Taste Your Creation!

Once your gummy bears are solid and you know you’ll be able to chew on them rather than having to drink them like the sugariest beverage you’ve ever had, it’s time to try them out! Whether you want to just pop them in your mouth, eat them with a fork and knife, or rub them on the butt of your favorite hippo at the local zoo before eating them, it’s time to taste the fruits (or any flavors you would have chosen) of your labor! Whether your gummy bears are fruity, flavored like soy sauce and wasabi, or just have no flavor but are saturated with masses of dog hair because that’s what you chose as your flavoring agent, you should be proud. You have now done what you thought only that grumpy gummy bear factory owner could do, and you’ve even one-upped him because you’re not even going to take it personally that people don’t like your new favorite flavor of gummy bear. You’ll even take your gummy bears to that grocery store owner and let him sell it. Just don’t expect anyone to buy them if you’ve chosen to fill them with dog hair.

20 Funny Words That End With -ing

Monkey Pickles
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20 Funny Words That End With -ing

20 Funny Words That End With -ing

Cracking

Let’s get cracking, that’s cracking good. Cracking is the new adjective for everything that’s good. If you can describe it as being cracking, well then, you’re on to something really cracking brilliant.

Guzzling

“Look at him guzzling that beer.” If you’re guzzling anything, it must be super great. After all, there aren’t many things you’d even want to guzzle. You’d never guzzle water. “Boy, she’s really guzzling that water.” Not. Of course you might have a gas guzzler of a car. But you yourself wouldn’t want to guzzle gas, right?

Muddling

Let’s be honest. If you’re muddling through something, you’re not exactly giving it your all. I mean, you’re not really pushing yourself to the limits if you’re muddling through that presentation.

Plodding

Okay, you’ve muddled your way through the presentation and managed not to get yourself fired. Now you’re plodding your way along until you can make it to the Christmas holiday where hopefully your boss will give you that bonus you’ve been counting on to pay for your kid’s braces. Keep on plodding, bro.

Kidding

Who are you kidding? You’ve been plodding along, trying to keep in the background, while all along, you know it’s just been a charade. Don’t try to kid a kidder. Funny, though. An actual kid is a child Billy goat. Is that you? A Billy goat in disguise, trying to fool the powers that be.

Mucking

Well, it looks like there’s been some real mucking up. If you’ve mucked it up, there’s a real mess that you’ve left behind. Muck is muck. It’s muddy, wet and messy. If your boss tells you at your six month progress report interview that you’ve been mucking it up, well, it’s time to cut back on that cable television package, I’ll tell you what.

Meddling

So, you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night. A couple of your wife’s friends are coming over to play cards and shoot the breeze. What could possibly go wrong? Except that you took it upon yourself to tell one of your wife’s friend’s husbands how he shouldn’t let his wife walk all over him the way he has. How he should stand up for himself! Now, the wife is at your house, in your living room, standing in front of your chair telling you how your meddling has ruined her marriage. Your meddling. What a puddle of a mess.

Living Inside The TV

lydiamaroon
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2
Living Inside The TV
I am sure you all remember these days when TVs had a huge box attached to it! Unlike the slim ones they make these days!  This world is trying to make everything slim and tiny even tvs!  any who this is not the subject!   The thing is when I was a kid, I used to think that this box is where those people who appear on TV live inside!  yes!  I used to think that they are little tiny things living inside! And, I used to try looking inside that box to see if they were sleeping while the TV was turned off! I never got this idea out of my head till recently! I was really disappointed! I am sure you all want to know how I discovered that,right? right? OK! even if you don’t I am going to write it anyway so suck it up and continue reading! My eldest late sister majored in Electrical Engineering. She wanted to experience her new knowledge, so she took an old TV we had and opened it! I was so excited!  Waiting for them little people to go running around like crazy cuz someone had opened their house and discovered their secret!  But I was in for a HUGE surprise and a big  disappointment! THERE WAS NO TINY PEOPLE! ZERO! all that there was some cables and weird coloured things! and I know that after seeing this I should’ve just given up on seeing the tiny people who live inside to entertain us!  but no!  I didn’t!  I kept thinking that this is what they turn into when you expose them! After my sister closed the TV again (which she couldn’t repair) I kept looking back inside it!  Waiting for them plastic things to turn into the tiny people I imagined but no! Nothing happened! And no one came to life! It was a major disappointment but I LIVED!  haha so what crazy ideas did you have when you were a kid? did you think that there is tiny little people living inside the TV too? Or did you have worse thoughts? Type your crazy ideas in the comments! It would be funny to know what everybody crazy ideas were from when they were kids! PEACE OUT! See you in another crazy something I will write!

Frank Does Everything Right

Monkey Pickles
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Frank Does Everything Right

Funny Joke of the Day

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.” Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.” Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.” Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.” Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.” Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!” Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.” Passenger: “How did you meet him?” Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.” Source: Steiner

10 Things To Do With Your Pet On A Saturday Night

Monkey Pickles
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10 Things To Do With Your Pet On A Saturday Night
Whether you just broke up with your significant other, never had a significant other, or want to get away from your significant other, here are 10 ways to spend a solidly splendid Saturday night with Spot or Fluffy that will create memories to last a lifetime.

1. Make Fun Of People On Facebook

Get cozy on the couch because you and Cuddles are in for a fun night full of laughs. First, change your profile picture to a picture of your pet. Then lay the down the witty sarcasm on every post you can find. When your friends react or tell you to knock it off, insist it’s not you.

2. Go To A Drive-In Movie

We don’t know why dogs and cats aren’t allowed at the regular movies, but they aren’t. So find the nearest drive-in movie theater. On the way, stop and get Fido his favorite treats. If there aren’t any drive-ins around, make one in your backyard with your laptop. Fido won’t know the difference, and you’ll give your neighbors something to talk about.

3. Eat Cheeseburgers At A Local Dive

What usually comes after the movie? That’s right, dinner! Grab a few burgers at the local hole-in-the-wall with your pet and then go home and take the longest nap possible. The burgers are for you, maybe the dog can have a few nibbles but not all of them. A bully stick can go down as delicious treat and it’s much healthier for your pooch.

4. Get A Room

Need a change of scenery? Google pet-friendly hotels wherever you want to go and … just go. You could even take a look at something like this Petswelcome site to help you find a pet-friendly hotel. Revive your relationship with your pet with some quality one-on-one time, especially if you’ve been working a lot. Ask the hotel staff to place a basket of your pet’s favorite goodies in the room as a surprise.

5. Go To The Spa

You can’t usually do this together, but maybe you can find a human spa next door to a doggie spa. Afterward, paint your partner’s nails and compare experiences. Who knows, maybe you’ve got a reality show here.

6. Join A Dating Site

If you’ve been thinking about finding someone special but doesn’t know where to start, get your pet to help you this Saturday night. Browse a few dating sites for free and find people who love their pets as much as you do. Maybe even use glamour shots of your pet as your profile pictures. You might find a good pet-to-pet match to start your new adventure.

7. Start A Pet Dating Site

We’re not too sure about this one, but you and Pumpkin can brainstorm some really good ways to make this work.

8. Go Get Another Pet

If Whiskers has been feeling a bit lonely lately, find another furry friend to adopt. Spend the afternoon at a shelter or two and then spend Saturday night showing your new pet all the good things in life. Chances are, you might even meet someone at the shelter. (But that’s another list). If you do manage to find a pet at the shelter, bringing it home will be like a new edition to the family. I’m sure you know how to look after your new pet, especially if you are already a proud owner of a cat or dog. Ensuring they have the right vaccinations and treatments for fleas, for example, is important. You don’t want it to get to the point where your pet is uncomfortable daily and you then realize you require the services of a pest control company like terminix georgia (or one closer to where you live) to help get rid of these pests in your home that won’t go away! It is always best to be safe than sorry when you are the owner of a pet. terminix georgia

9. Rent Animal Movies

Whether it’s Netflix or something else entirely, you have access to endless talking animal movies. And we’re not talking about cartoons either. We’re talking about real, live animals that can talk. Hollywood is amazing!

10. Sleep

Why not participate in one of your pet’s favorite pastimes and sleep Saturday night away? Cuddle up and fall asleep reading a book or watching TV. Either way, it’ll be the best Saturday night ever with Sprinkles by your side. Awwwwwwww.

Do’s and Don’ts of Recycling

Monkey Pickles
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Do’s and Don’ts of Recycling
We’re getting sick and tired of hearing all about the need for recycling. All this blathering about everyone having to do their part, make the world a better place for future generations. What a load of hassle. The earth has taken care of itself for thousands of years, and there’s no way that 10 million plastic bottles in the ocean is going to change all that. Besides, recycling is just one big time suck. Since when did throwing something away become so freaking complicated? Now you can’t just toss a plastic container into the garbage bin and be done with it. You have to squint at this teensy tiny little writing inside a weird—and frankly, Masonic-looking triangle—on the bottom of the package and see what “category” of recycling it belongs to. Please. Ain’t got time for that. With that said, here are the REAL ways to recycle – or not.

DO drink water exclusively from plastic bottles

They say that water in plastic bottles is no better than the water from your own tap. But that’s probably just propaganda from the water companies, who want you to use more city water. Anyway, did you know that city water also includes toilet water? So your tap water today might have been somebody’s toilet water yesterday. Bottled water, on the other hand has been purified. It says so, right there on the label. Does your kitchen faucet say “purified?” No. Didn’t think so. So definitely keep loading up on pallets and pallets of bottled water so you can always be sure of drinking purified water from the source.

DON’T bother bringing your own bags to the grocery store

Those cardboard bins that stores have in front where you can stuff your used plastic bags are there for a reason. So you can stuff your bags in, then the store cleaner comes along at night and empties the cardboard bin – into the trash can. They’re all going in the same place. To the landfill. So whether you use 10 plastic bags this year or 10,000, plastic bags will still get mass produced and still get dumped at the landfill. Save your time and stop feeling guilty about not doing your part.

DO pretend to recycle when others are watching

This is called covering your social a*&. You have to be careful, especially at work, to look like you’re an “avid” recycler. Recycling is really trendy right now and if you blithely toss your microwave containers into the trash, you’ll look like a non-conformist. Ultimately, this can cost you a raise. Companies like people who do everything the same. You don’t want to stand out. So go ahead and throw those used plastic sporks into the recycling bin that some bored receptionist placed in the office kitchen. You can always fish them out and move them to the regular trash can later, when no one’s looking.

DON’T buy items that say the container is made with “post-consumer goods”

This means the package has been made from recycled materials, which is totally gross. Just think of all the trash that goes into a bin. A lot of people recycle used tissues, even when they’ve had a cold. So that package of pasta could be made with cardboard that was pressed up against someone’s snotty tissue. Eww. Make a stand with your consumer dollars and don’t buy from companies that use recycled packaging.

5 Cool Gifts for U2 Fans

Monkey Pickles
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5 Cool Gifts for U2 Fans

U2 formed as a crew of friends in secondary school in Dublin, Ireland before any of them had any real proficiencies with music. Within four years they scored a record deal. By their fifth album they became a global sensation. In the present they’ve won 22 Grammy Awards, more than any other band, period. Part of their success is every time they run into controversy or boredom from their fan base, they evolve and revolutionize their sound. They’re huge experimenters, and The Edge really exemplifies this with his guitar pedal array.

U2: Revolution: A Complete Illustrated History

U2: Revolution: A Complete Illustrated History

$31.16  in stock
9 new from $27.99
5 used from $33.40
Free shipping
Amazon.com
as of May 13, 2024 3:46 pm

Features

Release Date 2019-10-01T00:00:01Z
Edition Illustrated, Reissue
Language English
Number Of Pages 236
Publication Date 2019-10-01T00:00:01Z
Format Illustrated
U2 by U2

U2 by U2

$17.99
$15.29  in stock
26 new from $12.35
47 used from $2.59
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Features

Part Number black & white illustrations, colour illu
Release Date 2009-12-01T00:00:01Z
Edition Reprint
Language English
Number Of Pages 455
Publication Date 2009-12-01T00:00:01Z
Format Illustrated
EICOCO Famous Legendary Music U2 Plaque Poster Metal Tin Sign 8" x 12" Vintage Retro Wall Decor

EICOCO Famous Legendary Music U2 Plaque Poster Metal Tin Sign 8" x 12" Vintage Retro Wall Decor

$9.99  in stock
Amazon.com
as of May 13, 2024 3:46 pm

Features

  • Material:Made of Environmentally Friendly Metal Tin.
  • Size: 8 x 12 inches (20 x 30 cm);Color: As The Pictures Shown.
  • Easy To Hang Art:this lightweight metal tin sign comes with pre-drilled holes for easy hanging.
  • Process: UV printing,Retro style,made with folded edges to ensure safety and stability.
  • Quality Service: we provide return and refund services, if you have any questions about the product, please contact us.
Wall Clock Compatible with U2 - Vinyl Record - Exciting Guest Room Decor idea for Adults, Men and Women - Rock Music Modern Art Design

Wall Clock Compatible with U2 - Vinyl Record - Exciting Guest Room Decor idea for Adults, Men and Women - Rock Music Modern Art Design

 out of stock
Amazon.com
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Features

Part Number TW00015
Model TW00015
Color Black
Size 12 inches
EICOCO Guitar Shaped Rock Lyrics U2 Guitar Lyrics Plaque Poster Metal Tin Sign 8" x 12" Vintage Retro Wall Decor

EICOCO Guitar Shaped Rock Lyrics U2 Guitar Lyrics Plaque Poster Metal Tin Sign 8" x 12" Vintage Retro Wall Decor

$14.99  in stock
2 new from $9.99
Free shipping
Amazon.com
as of May 13, 2024 3:46 pm

Features

  • Material:Made of Environmentally Friendly Metal Tin.
  • Size: 8 x 12 inches (20 x 30 cm);Color: As The Pictures Shown.
  • Easy To Hang Art:this lightweight metal tin sign comes with pre-drilled holes for easy hanging.
  • Process: UV printing,Retro style,made with folded edges to ensure safety and stability.
  • Quality Service: we provide return and refund services, if you have any questions about the product, please contact us.

What Should You Never Forget On A Vacation?

Monkey Pickles
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0
What Should You Never Forget On A Vacation?
There’s something to be said for traveling light. There’s less to carry and fewer things to get lost by the airlines. But there are essentials, too.

What Should You Never Forget On A Vacation?

What Would You Hit With A Riding Lawnmower?

Monkey Pickles
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0
What Would You Hit With A Riding Lawnmower?
After a holiday weekend, there’s not much to draw you back to the office. In fact, you might even feel a little grumpy about having to go back. Would it help if you had a powerful garden management tool to ride to work? If you do own a riding lawnmower, you may want to consider metal storage over plastic storage to decrease the chance of damage and keep your lawnmower secure and in the best condition you possibly can.

What would you hit with a riding lawnmower?

Cheap Date Ideas For You And Your Boo

Monkey Pickles
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0
Cheap Date Ideas For You And Your Boo
Just because you have no money doesn’t mean you have to deprive your boo of the opportunity to spend time with you on a date. But dinner and a movie can cost an arm and a leg. The dinner costs an arm, and the movie costs a leg, unless it happens to be a Star Wars sequel. (For these, the lightsaber-wielding arm seems to be the preferred means of currency.) Add in few drinks at a nightclub after the movie and you could be looking at rolling home in a wheelchair instead of rolling around in the sack. Instead of going for broke, check out these fun and cheap date ideas for you and boo.

Breakfast For Two

When you invite your boo to breakfast, you demonstrate an uncommon level of sophistication. First, you get to show off that you’re even awake at that hour of the day, and the fact that you’re actually dressed and ready to appear in public? Well, that just proves what a go-getter you are. Now, there’s no need to actually pay for this breakfast. See, quality hotels in your area give free breakfast away every single morning! Granted, these free breakfasts are for guests only, but you’re not one to let rules get in the way of your courtship, are you? No, I thought not. Simply park around back of the hotel, tousle your hair a little so it looks like you just woke up, and enter the hotel through the lobby with your boo. Pretend to be busy chatting so you don’t get caught in an awkward conversation with the front desk staff. Ride the elevator up to a random floor, then ride it back down to wherever the breakfast buffet is being served. Hold a credit card in your hand so it looks like a room key. You and your beloved can now choose from the wide assortment of cereals, waffles and breakfast beverages in the comfortable surroundings of a beautiful hotel that will probably always be far beyond your budget. Sit down and feast!

Joyride

One of the challenges of dating while poor is juggling time that you should use looking for work (or actually doing work, if you have a job) with time that you want to spend dating. Get both done in style with this next idea. Ask your boo to dress up because you’re taking her out on the town. Line up a few job interviews for the afternoon and dress to the nines. Suit and tie — the works. Pick up your date and drive her around town, just as you promised. Tell your date you have some important meetings to attend, and ask her to wait in the car while you stop at various locations for your interviews. As you leave the interviews, fill your pockets with mints and candy from the reception desks. After your interviews are all over, go to a public park (free!) and walk around with her while holding hands. Offer her sweets and mints from your pockets until you run out. By this time, both of you will be exhausted, and you’ll be off the hook for dinner. You’re welcome.

What If Animals Were Round?

SonOfMonkeyPickles
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0
What If Animals Were Round?
What would the nature be like  if the call of the wild was for pizza? Rollin’ Wild gives a not so tiny glimpse into that world. https://youtu.be/_1ON3mC-FzI also thanks to Willian, You Tube.

A Night Out With The Whiskey Legends

Monkey Pickles
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A Night Out With The Whiskey Legends
Jack sat at the end of the bar, looking sullenly into his empty glass. He had been there for hours, sipping away on a quality Tennessee whiskey, alone. Suddenly, he felt a firm hand hit his shoulder. He turned slowly, unable to muster much energy. “Jack,” said an older man in with a gruff, weatherworn voice. A worn top hat was nestled over his graying, stringy hair. His black, dirty coattails flowed behind him when he walked, a striding man who carried a cane. His look was authentic, as if he had just came from a fancy party in 1908. Unfortunately, it was 2016. He looked like a period drama actor or one of those guys from an amusement park stage show. “Johnnie,” replied Jack, looking up with an expression that most would consider a pained grimace. In Jack’s mind, it was an acknowledging smile. Johnnie took a seat next to Jack, and the two sat next to each other silently for several minutes, neither having anything to say. They had always been this way, since meeting nearly 50 years ago fighting together in Vietnam. They were much younger then, of course, but they both had a dignified silence about them even as kids. When either of them spoke, people listened. The bartender brought Johnnie his usual drink, a fine Scotch. Johnnie laid the payment on the bar with a nod, took a sip of his drink and set it down with a long sigh. “What happened to Jameson wasn’t your fault, Jack. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. And you know how Jameson is … was,” he corrected himself. “He talked a big game, but at the end of the day, he always had a hard time backing it up.” Jack frowned, the pain of the incident replaying in his mind over and over again. “I know it isn’t my fault, Johnnie. It’s just that he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He was a fun-loving kid, always was. Loved the ladies.” A slight chuckle escaped Johnnie’s lips. “Kid? Jameson was well-aged, Jack. He looked like he was at least 236 years old! He knew what he was getting into when he decided to tangle with those young bucks.” “I know that, Johnnie,” Jack replied. “Dadgummit, I know that. But we should have been there for him. He shouldn’t have had to fight Jose by himself. That blue agave stuff he drinks packs a punch. We were a team and we let him down.” Johnnie snapped back, “And what would we have done, exactly? We’re old. We’re washed up. Hell, your back hasn’t been the same since the war, and I have been on this cane for at least 10 years now. He shouldn’t have tried to fight with Jose. He should have walked away.” The two let those words float over them like a cloud of cigar smoke. They both missed their friend. Jameson was a good guy, but his mouth sometimes got the better of him. And now, he was gone.

I Jumped Off The Cliff. Again.

Karen K
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I Jumped Off The Cliff. Again.
 

I jumped off the cliff again.

Those that know me are holding back comment I’m sure. My husband (who may kinda be a little right) says it’s quite a common occurrence. What was my Lucy Ricardo moment this time? I agreed to be a part of our neighborhood Christmas tour.  It’s a lovely event, and a fundraiser for our beautiful historical neighborhood. And when I volunteered to be a part of it, I thought I was a great idea. 

A year ago.

Now, less than two weeks out, it seems like an exhausting thought.  1,000 visitors will be viewing our humble abode. We live in a lovely 130 year-old home.  And showing it off seemed like a great idea.  It’s a cool place.  It’s been lovingly restored by our neighbor, Joe.  All the original woodwork – built-ins and floors.  High Ceilings.  Pocket doors.  Hidden rooms.  Ghosts.  (all friendly…truthfully).  So how fun to share all this with 1,000 of our closest friends, right?  As I said, a year ago it was a stellar idea. So, thus far we’ve put up 4 Christmas Trees, decorated the fireplace mantel and decorated the front porch.  This is just the beginning.   There are those wonderful plastic tubs all over our house right now.  The dogs have to navigate their way around a pile of snowmen and the Santa collection just to get to their dog bowls.

Thing is, I’m kinda competitive.

I don’t just want people to come into our home, check out the neat flooring, see a Christmas tree or four and leave.  Nope.  I had to open my mouth and say that we all will (oh, yes, I forgot about the part that I enlisted the help of my wonderful friends that volunteered to help) dress in period (meaning Dickens) costumes.  Yes, there was wine involved. A lot. Don’t judge me. So now, it’s time to come up with some great stories about each room.  Back stories about the house that never really happened.  (Writers are also known to be um, let’s see: spin doctors, bullshit artists, and creative thinkers). So, here’s the next step: gather all of my wonderful friends together, plying them once again with food and wine, and brainstorm ideas for costumes, stories about each room, etc.  We will gather in the dining room around the table, and come up with great ideas in the glow of the Christmas tree.  (One of the masses – this one is decorated with a (surprise!) wine theme.)  I’ve also convinced the daughter of a friend to gather some of her friends and sing carols in front of the house as the guests arrive.  I’m all about the ambience.

I know there is a lesson in here somewhere.

It could be one of many: 1) Don’t volunteer before you think of all the angles and time commitment. 2) Embrace the love of my friends that are helping me out in my time of need. 3) Bask in the glow of the season, make 1,000 cookies to serve to the wonderful guests, and go ahead and brag about our awesome, historic home that we love living in. 4) Accept that I will never change, that I will always leap before I look, and just be glad that I can always find a way to embrace my choice. And as always, I will sing the iconic Beatles song at the top of my lungs: I get by with a little help from my friends. This while my husband whistles the theme song from “I Love Lucy”.  And, as James Stewart says, “It’s a Wonderful Life”.  Or, in the infamous words of Ellen Griswold: “It’s Christmas, Audrey, and we’re all in misery”.       Holiday Gift Center

21 UnBeliebable Truths About Justin Bieber

SonOfMonkeyPickles
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21 UnBeliebable Truths About Justin Bieber

“What did you say?!!…What did you say?!!…Happy Birthday?…Oh…Thank you.”

Justin Bieber is 21 years old And according to statistics Justin is a man. A man now legally allowed to drink for the first time ever. How exciting for him. Justin celebrated turning 21 and drinking on a private island despite not being in the military. Let’s hope he had a good time and didn’t swallow anything too salty because there was a lot of confusing sea water about. Anyhow, here are 21 fact like collections of words you won’t believe are true ….

1. Baby Baby Baby

Justin claims he wrote the hit in 1965 when he and Brian Williams were in The Miracles but other sources say that Justin had the idea for the chart topper while singing in front of his bedroom mirror.

2. Stan Lee

Marvel Universe Icon, Stan Lee, was Justin’s first True Belieber and got Justin an audition for the role of Johnny Storm. Unfortunately Justin did not get the part as his confused frequent bouts of crying would extinguish the CGI flames.

3. Usher

Justin Bieber was discovered in a cinema by an usher. He was asked to leave as his singing was disrupting the feature.

4. Tattoos

Justin has many tattoos, much like the ceiling of the Sixteen Chapel in the Vatican City where The Pope lives.

5. Hotels

After becoming famous Justin had to leave the lodge he grew up in only to spend much of his subsequent career on the road ironically staying in hotels such as Travelodge.

6. My World

The album went platinum only 3 months after its release, ruining many vintage record players and forcing I Land Wreckords to issue a total recall until compensated fans complained about having to share one Schwarzenegger DVD.

7. Instruments

Justin is able to play the drums, guitar, piano and trumpet but does not use them as often as he’d like as the instruments are frequently full of spit.

8. Martial Arts

When Justin was younger he took karate lessons and earned a yellow umbilical cord.

9. Kids

Justin has been reported as wanting 3 kids … but soon more and more kids started up to his concerts and Bieber became very sad.

10. Animals

Justin Bieber’s favorite animal is George The Hastily Contrived Giraffe.

11. Prince

Justin believes that the artist formerly known as Prince is purple.

12. Fears

Justin suffers from claustrophobia and is afraid of granola.

13. Bungalow

The pop star is also afraid of elevators. Any elevators were removed from Bieber’s home when he ordered each floor of his residence to be laid end to end at ground level. Also, choreographers are rumored to be instructed not to include lifts in his routines.

14. Superhero

It is alleged that Justin bought an Ironman helmet at 3 am one morning after being threatened with circumcision by a rabbit

15. Australian

Like most Canadians, & Hugh Jackman, Justin is actually an Australian who had to move to the cooler climate due to being ‘hot under the collar’ & ‘blowing up’ conditions ( or Russel Crow Syndrome ). Unlike Huge Jackman, Bieber is the correct height to play Wolverine and was up for a similar role in the superhero series, Honey Badger. The pilot never aired as test audiences did not appear to take to a cross-dressing badger hero. Also the make up department went wildly over budget with countless mascara applications being ruined by frequent bouts of confused crying.

16. Clowns

Justin does not like clowns and has not been able to look at himself in the mirror for so long now that he is convinced he features in the Twilight series.

17. Twilight

His misconceptions reinforced after misguided handlers presented him with specially adapted books, Justin believe that the main protagonists in the Twilight series are Team Bieber and Team One Direction. He also believes that Team One Direction are ultimately defeated when they all die from chlamydia contracted from a loose moralled koala bear.

18. Monkey

Bieber once owned a Capuchin monkey as he thought it was qualified as a barista and could make tiny coffees.

19. Eggs

Justin is unable to count eggs. Bieber buys so many eggs that periodically he distribute large numbers of eggs around the neighborhood or else be forced to live in just one room of his mansion …. a room that isn’t even the kitchen.

20. Accents

French, English and Australian are Justin’s favorite accents but he can’t choose between them and has combined the three into one accent he calls Frenglian.

21. Rapping It Up

In an effort to move further away from his ‘nice boy of pop’ image, Justin was proposing to reinvent himself gangam gangsta style as edgy rapper, 21 Cents but abandoned those plans after haters commented that he did not have a lot of cents. Bonus Round Justin has tried his best to connect with fan from the difficult world of celebrity only to have his efforts hijacked by haters. When he asked fans which country he should tour next, the result of the competition was North Korea and as for what direction his career should move in now, some have suggested Space. Nevermind JB, at least you are disgustingly rich.

What Was The First Thing You Did On Christmas Break As A Kid?

Monkey Pickles
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What Was The First Thing You Did On Christmas Break As A Kid?

School is fine, but it’s nice to get a break every now and then.

What Was The First Thing You Did On Christmas Break As A Kid?

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