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How To Make Dank Memes

Everything is sarcastic on the interwebs. Ironic detachment means that nothing means anything and one-eyed Jacks are wild. See? It’s funny because it doesn’t make sense. But I can also say, it’s not funny at all and THAT’S WHY it’s funny. I get to say anything I want because this is the internet. It’s cool to be exclusive and make obscure references, then act appalled when no one gets it. The new hipster is not wearing suspenders and waxing his handlebar mustache over his reclaimed wood sink; NO. The new hipster is online making DANK MEMES and rolling their eyes when someone fails to understand the infinite complexity or mundane simpleness of what they have created. It’s art, and we’re gonna teach you the steps to make the dankest memes of all. Meme’s can be made in picture or video form. Most video memes can now be seen on popular video platform TikTok. Creating good content is vital to your success, the better the meme, the better the reaction from the viewers. You’re following will also grow if your memes are worthy. You could use free following sites, like https://tiktokfamous.club, if you want to create a strong platform to start with. The bigger the following you have, the more successful your memes are likely to be. The popularity of video memes is increasing drastically so you might want to create video memes first to get your foot in the door.

First, WTF is a dank meme, you may ask. Well…: exasperated sigh: … just watch this total square explain what a dank meme is:

Does it make sense now? Not really? Ok, grandpa: let’s learn you some dank memory.

How To Make Dank Memes – Find A Photo

Most dank memes start with a video or picture of some kind. Now, in a normal meme, you would associate the video/photo with an expression, or a feeling, or something relatable in some way, and then write something funny with it. But we’re talking about dank memes here, soldier, so the BEST kind of dank meme starts with an overdone, cliche, even TRITE meme that is just 0% funny anymore. Can’t find any of those? Use any picture or video. Anything. Find an old comic strip, an inspirational-looking sunset, something that is just begging to be muddled with tomfoolery.

How To Make Dank Memes – Imagine Your Theme

What do you want your dank meme to become when you release it into the internet? Will it be forever lauded as the Dankest Meme in history, or will it be scoffed at and ridiculed for its inherent non-dankness? Here’s the deal: it doesn’t matter. Dank memes are perfect regardless of how they are appreciated. In truth, according to dank meme lore, your dank meme should be completely ignored- this means that it’s so obscure, so unfunny, so LAME that no one could even understand it enough to give it props: this could very well be the Dankest Meme.

How To Make Dank Memes – Find Your Accoutrement

Some might say a dank meme has to showcase certain elements- a bag of Doritos, a standing photo of Snoop Dogg, rainbows, offensive language… but this isn’t a list of “must-haves,” is it? Dank memes show no mercy and have no rules. Dank memes incorporate pieces of meme culture that are no longer relevant because of age and mainstream use or are so new or niched that a very small amount of people would find them funny or of interest. This makes the dank meme so special: it’s so out of touch with everyday humor that it becomes an exclusive club for those searching for the next best thing. One piece of advice from a dank memer to another: make the dank meme look awful. Use MS Paint. No matter how much work you’ve put into it, it is MUCH danker if you make it look like you just shrugged and scribbled for 2 minutes and it was done. That meme is DANK, son.

How To Make Dank Memes – Release The Hounds

When you’re ready for the world to see your dank meme, don’t make a big deal out of it. Casually go online to your favorite forum, post your meme, and walk away. Drink a Mountain Dew and watch your favorite under-valued anime. Your family and friends may not completely understand what you’ve just done, and that’s the way you want it. You’re so cool about unleashing your dank meme to the masses, you don’t even CARE if anyone sees it. That’s not the point. It’s knowing that you- without excitement or fanfare- made a hilarious dank meme for all or zero to enjoy. Your legacy lives on.

Here is motormous3 with his take on how to make dank memes:

Banana Anatomy

When you think of a banana’s anatomy, chances are you don’t consider the term “leathery berry” or “finger.” That’s because you haven’t been thinking about banana anatomy enough in your day-to-day life; we’ll forgive this blasphemy and teach you a thing or two about the anatomy of a banana!

Bananas are a starchy, sweet botanical berry (yes, it’s a BERRY!) and edible fruit that come from flowering plants aptly name the banana plant.

The banana plant grows from a “corm,” which serves as a sturdy underground banana plant stem to survive harsh weather conditions, like a drought or extreme cold. It is essentially the bulb of the banana plant, although they are built of solid tissue vs. the layered scales of a bulb. A cluster of bananas is called a “hand,” and a single banana is called a “finger,” which is a concise yet mildly unappetizing way of describing their growth patterns. Each hand consists of about 10 to 20 fingers. The outer layer of the banana, best known as the peel or skin of a banana, protects the soft inner portion of the banana. In between the peel and the soft fruit in the anatomy of a banana are thin membranes called phloem bundles. The phloem bundles are the part of banana anatomy that transports sucrose (sap) and other soluble organic compounds. Essentially, the phloem bundles grab sap made through photosynthesis, and bring it to parts of the banana that do not have photosynthetic properties. In some ways, this part of banana anatomy mimics the way our veins and arteries carry blood through our bloodstream! The fibers of phloem bundles in the anatomy of a banana can be used to make fabric, paper, or baskets.

Wild banana anatomy is drastically different than the typical banana anatomy we are accustomed to in our everyday lives.

The wild anatomy of a banana consists of mostly large, inedible seeds surrounded by some starchy pulp: not exactly the consistency we are looking for in a grab-and-go fruit. Banana Fruit, Banana Tree, Banana Seeds, Banana Anatomy, Banana Plant,The above photo of wild banana anatomy is just the tip of the iceberg: there are many variations of banana anatomy! Take, for instance, the Musa velutina, or the hairy pink banana: Banana Fruit, Banana Tree, Banana Seeds, Banana Anatomy, Banana Plant, Pink Banana This adorable species of seeded banana has fruits 3 inches long (SQUEE!), covered in pink skin with vellous “hair.” The banana anatomy consists of edible fleshy pulp, and a multitude of seeds that are extremely hard- like chip-your-tooth hard.

Through years of scientific breeding and testing artificial selection, mutations would arise that were actually beneficial to the edibility of banana anatomy.

The domestication of the banana meant that the the wild banana would need a sleek new physique and new banana anatomy to ap-PEEL to the average grocery shopper. The Cavendish banana- or Musa acuminata– emerged as the front-runner for the most consumer-friendly banana anatomy. The Cavendish banana anatomy is soft and sweet, with small, sterile seeds in the middle of the banana, promoting the overall aesthetic and edibility of the fruit. The skin of a this domesticated banana goes through an artificial ripening process to give it the quintessential bright yellow color we associate with a nice, ripe banana at the grocery store. Without this process, the Cavendish banana anatomy starts as a green-yellow color and ripens to brownish-yellow. The coolest part about the anatomy of a banana ripening process: ripened bananas fluoresce in BLUE when exposed to UV light! This fluorescence depends on the chlorophyll breakdowns in the banana peels: green, unripe bananas do not have the same fluorescence as their ripe counterparts. The same decreased fluorescence occurs with over-ripened bananas.

Why is fluorescence even a thing in banana anatomy?

According to a 2010 study called “Blue Luminescence of Ripening Bananas,” there are two suggestions:
  1. The fluorescence actually helps some animals find the perfect banana ripeness! Because some animals have a large field of UV vision, the fluorescence on the banana peel seems to correlate with this ability, allowing these animals to see a vivid shade of blue when looking for the best, most edible bananas.
  2. The FCC’s (fluorescent catabolites of chlorophyll, or intermediates of chlorophyll breakdown) in the banana peels may be related to more important roles in the internal world of banana anatomy, not only just for the breakdown of chlorophyll.

Banana Anatomy Health Benefits

Literally every aspect of banana anatomy is edible. The banana peel, although fluorescent, is completely edible. In fact, in many parts of the word, it’s eaten as frequently as the fleshy interior! A banana peel contains vitamins B6 and B12, magnesium, potassium, fiber, protein, and other compounds that are beneficial to health. Because the banana peel is not as sweet as banana flesh, it is usually served cooked, boiled, or fried. As far as the interior pulp of the banana, it seems that the anatomy of a banana is chock-full of anti-oxidants and healthy content. One of the most talked-about positive attributes of banana anatomy is its high potassium content. Potassium helps your nerves function, heartbeat stay regular, move nutrients into cells and waste products out of cells. The mineral can also help balance blood pressure by negating some of sodium’s harmful effects. There are many other aspects of banana anatomy that are great for your health! One banana can provide almost 10% of a daily fiber requirement, making them great for regularity and helping to curb food cravings. Bananas also contain Vitamin A, which improves and maintains vision, and vitamin B6 is essential for great sleep, weight loss, and protects against type 2 diabetes. As you can see, banana anatomy is not for the faint of heart; it is a broad topic with many different compelling directions to dive into. You’ll never look at the anatomy of a banana the same way again! Source: StudySource: Banana SeedsSource: Banana FactsSource: Banana Nutrition, Source: Potassium, Source: Bananas

Hoop Dreams: Embrace Your Goofball

Hoop Dreams: Embrace Your Goofball.
Okay, probably that star performance looks different in this kid’s head and Cirque Du Soleil won’t be calling just yet … but does she look like she is bothered ? Heck No ! As an adult ( Shut up! … I am too ), I am, at least, this impressive almost every day.  It’s true that not all the plans that goes awry involves a hula hoop but those meetings/date/hostage negotiations often work out differently to how I envisioned them.  “But hula hooping is fun, Mr. President.” I think the point is that we are all … “special” and that we should embrace our “special” qualities. I don’t mean settle for the talents you have been gifted without aspiring for greater heights … but accept your goofy moments and don’t let embarrassment stop you.  Look at this kid! She’s not deterred.  This Is An Awesome Fail!  Perfection is so overrated, anyway. So . . . . . Embrace Your Goofball!!! . . . . . You know it makes sense. ( Perfection isn’t overrated when engineering precision equipment or when piloting the space shuttle. No hula hooping during take off ! ) Sorry about the lack of basketball but hula hoop is a sport too, right? lol 😀

When Flo Meets Jack

We all know Flo.

You know . . . the Progressive Lady?

We all know Jack.

You know . . . (of the) lantern? Here is a clever video where Flo is introduced to Jack. Or, is Jack introduced to Flo?

You be the judge.

 

What If Animals Were Round?

What would the nature be like  if the call of the wild was for pizza? Rollin’ Wild gives a not so tiny glimpse into that world. https://youtu.be/_1ON3mC-FzI also thanks to Willian, You Tube.

What’s In My Pocket?

Of Course !  No Wonder I Was So Pleased See Everyone Today.
pocket bananas

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man, Part 2: The Great White Hope

Previously on Tartan The Ape-man, We left Derek Shirtless facing almost certain death after a practice session of Lubutol’s premier Aqua Baseball Team goes awry. Will Derek survive ? Will he be saved by a guardian angel, fairy godmother or mysterious pumpkin uncle ? Or will he suffer a greasy ignoble feline demise ? Click and click again below to find out.   Tartan The Apeman Story1 Page 2 text

What Is Monkey Pickles?

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Monkey Pickles: funny random thoughts or actions to share. or some people would call them bananas. If you enjoy being a goofball like we do and not take things to serious than you’ve come to right place. We share random funny thoughts, jokes, and moments. Nothing is better in life than a good laugh with good people. How many times have you been just doing something through the day and something funny just pops in your head? exactly that Monkey Pickles… Enjoy each others humor and wit…. spread smiles, and laughter through a common bond of being goofballs !!! We don’t get caught up in all the hype of controversial topics like politics, religion, or race. If you would like to discuss those bad enough about who, what, when, and where then there are several other places to go.. Monkey Pickles started from constanlty saying it the end of 08′. In Jan 09′ started thinking about a fun hobby to start learning would be web design stuff so at that moment the light bulb went off and they were combined, and the rest has been a blast. Monkey Pickles has brought people together, turned several frowns upside down and generally been a positve fun community. So there you have it !!!

Walks Into A Bar Jokes – Funny Jokes

A Man Walks Into A Bar Jokes

You’ve heard ‘a man walks into a bar’ jokes forever, even before you were of legal drinking age. Walking into a bar is apparently hilarious. Actually, it isn’t, BUT the punchlines derived from ‘walks into a bar’ are! The setup is so simple: the punchline is usually a play on words combined with many other variables, like the ‘man’ that walks into a bar can be a woman, a sandwich, or a unicorn. It doesn’t matter as long as the old-school setup of ‘walks into a bar’ is the same distinct theme. Here are our favorite ‘walks into a bar’ jokes!

A Drunk Walks Into a Bar…

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!”

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, “I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-et!”

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, “Your mom liked it!”

Finally the guy interrupts. “Go home, Dad, you’re drunk!”

Source

A Man Walks Into a Bar…

The bartender says, “Congratulations, you are our thousandth customer! Enjoy this complimentary beer.”

Man: “Hey, thanks!”

Bartender: “Of course, and it’s only five dollars!”

Man: “I thought you said it was complimentary?”

Bartender: “It is.”

Beer: “You have beautiful eyes.”

reddit/user/Ayru_

A Gorilla Walks Into a Bar…

A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, “What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.” So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can’t believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.

So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he’s standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, “Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything.”

So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn’t say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can’t take it anymore.

“You know,” he says to the gorilla, “we don’t get too many gorillas in here.”

And the gorilla says, “At nineteen dollars a drink I’m not surprised.”

reddit/user/Zs2k

A Duck Walks Into a Bar…

Says to the bar tender, “I’d like to buy some peanuts.” Bartender says, “Sorry, don’t sell peanuts.” The duck leaves.

Next day, duck walks into the bar, “I want to buy some peanuts.” Bartender replies, “I already told you I don’t sell peanuts!” The duck leaves.

Next day, the duck walks into the bar, “I want to buy some peanuts!” Bartender yells back, “I told you, I don’t sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I’ll nail you to the wall!” So the duck leaves.

Next day, the duck walks into the bar, “Do you have any nails?” Bartender says, “Sorry, don’t have nails.” Duck asks, “Do you have any peanuts?”

Source

A Man Walks into a Bar…

He tells the waitress, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.”

When she returns with his drink, he asks “Still servin’ breakfast?”

When she says yes, he replies, “Then I’ll have two eggs- runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon ON END- well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee.”

Indignantly the waitress says, “We don’t serve that kinda stuff in here!”

The man says, “Funny… that’s what I had in here yesterday…”

Source

A Man Walks Into a Bar…

Goes up to the bartender, and asks for a beer. The bartender stops him, and says “Well, before you order, let me tell you about our special.”

He directs the man’s attention down to the end of the bar, where there are two huge chunks of meat hanging on meat hooks.

“If you can run down to the end of the bar, jump up, and take a bite out of one of those pieces of meat, you get to drink free here for the rest of your life. But I’ll warn you, if you try it and fail, you have to buy all of the drinks for the rest of the bar all night.”

The man replies “Well, let me think about it. Mind if I take a look?” The bartender lets him, so he saunters down to the end of the bar, and takes a nice, long look at the hanging meat, before turning around and coming back.

“Nah, I think I’ll just order a beer.”

“Alright, but just curious… why aren’t you taking the challenge?”

“Buddy, the steaks are just too high.”

reddit/user/catsfanuk87

How Do You Get To The Cold Side Of The Pillow?

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Nothing feels better than the cold side of the pillow. But it can be hard to capture the feeling.

How Do You Get To The Cold Side Of The Pillow?

Love Is A Marathon, Part 6: Gouda And Cough Syrup

Previously, on Love Is A Marathon: Lillian didn’t give birth to an ankle baby, but she was ordered to rest up her own ankle, given her injury. Instructor looks for a new marathon partner.

Read comics online, Love Is A Marathon, Monkey Pickles, cartoon popovers, funny comics, funny pics & vidsCome back next Saturday morning for the exciting conclusion of the saga!

Real Dill Comedy Contest #RealDillComedy

CONTEST CLOSED AS OF 5/2/17

Monkey Pickles #RealDillComedy Contest

Monkey Pickles is celebrating its 8th anniversary of enjoying laughs and mental recess with our fans! What started as a small group of goofballs connecting through humor has blossomed into building bridges with people from all over the world, creating relationships and breaking down walls through comedy. To celebrate this eight-year milestone, we are looking for some funny people to create a 2 minute video to showcase in our #RealDillComedy contest! Maybe you have a skit idea, tell a funny story, a comedy routine, a really amazing prank, a hilarious movie trailer, or any other comedic content you are ready to share with the world. We want to support your dream with prizes (see below) and possible future benefits with Monkey Pickles! Our goal is to present an opportunity for comedians, bloggers, YouTubers, etc. to exhibit and promote their work through our community at Monkey Pickles. This is a unique opportunity for you to engage with thousands of new potential fans (our Facebook page alone has over 100,000 users!) and boost your exposure with a diverse group of humor-lovers. Be creative, be a goofball, be unique!

Contest Guidelines and Rules

Eligibility: Only applicants 18 years of age or older may enter. Must be a legal resident in the continental United States. One video may be entered in contest per applicant. No purchase necessary to enter or win. Applicants must follow Monkey Pickles on our social media accounts: Videos will be uploaded to and voted for here Enter The Contest

#RealDillComedy Contest Submissions

All submissions must be received by 11:59 pm CST on Thursday, June 1st, 2017 in order to be eligible for prize. Voting will begin Monday, May 1st, 2017 and will end at 11:59 pm CST on Friday, June 30th, 2017. Video Submission Requirements:
  • Video must not be longer than two (2) minutes
  • Video must be an ORIGINAL idea
Video must not contain: Pornographic, violent, discriminatory, threatening, or otherwise obscene content or images; copyrighted images or content unless you own the copyright or have a license to use the material. Written permission must be provided upon request for all copyrighted materials at the request of Monkey Pickles. Monkey Pickles reserves the right to disqualify any entries for any reason, including but not limited to those that do not adhere to the content rules. By participating, each entrant grants Monkey Pickles permission an unlimited use of submissions (including all materials presented with submission) for any purpose on social media and website(s). Monkey Pickles reserves the right to edit any materials before posting.

The Winner of the #RealDillComedy Contest will receive the following:

Video submission, comic bio, and future gigs promoted on Monkey Pickles for the remainder of 2017 Featured in Monkey Pickles email newsletter blasts Official Monkey Pickles t-shirt and hoodie $500 Amazon gift card TBD priceless prizes Any Questions? Reach out to [email protected] for any questions.

CONTEST CLOSED AS OF 5/2/17

   

Three Guys Are Hiking Through The Woods When They Find A Lamp…

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Funny Joke Of The Day

Three guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms, “You have finally freed me after all these years, so I’ll grant each one of you 3 wishes.” The first guy immediately blurts out “I want a billion dollars.” POOF, he’s holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50. The second man thinks for a bit, then says “I want to be the richest man alive.” POOF, he’s holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion. The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says “I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life.” POOF, his arm starts rotating. The Genie tells them it’s time for their second wish. First guy says: “I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth.” POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm. Second guy says “I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want.” POOF, his looks change and the first guy’s wife immediately starts flirting with him. Third guy says “I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die.” POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions. The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish. First guy does, and after a while says “I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die.” POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don’t bother him any more. Second guy says “I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever.” POOF, he looks younger already. Third guy smiles triumphantly and says “My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth.” POOF, he’s now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around. The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways. Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: “I’ve invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I’ve never gotten so much as a cold in all these years.” Second guy smiles and says “Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I’m still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven’t aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed.” Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says: “Guys, I think I messed up.”  

Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

A Pizza Work

As the world quivers from fear or overeating at the introduction of The Hot Dog Bites Pizza, I pondering the question … Does it bite?
 
This pizza has been available for a few weeks and it is possible that you have tried one by now, in which case one of your relatives may be reading this to other members of your immediate family all of whom are likely wearing black and feeling tearful. My condolences.
01 Hot-Dog-Bites-Pizza-2
Taste: While, arguably, the entire concept is not in good taste, the actual taste is not terrible. … If you like fat … and salt … and regret. The pizza is very salty. For sure if you are being pursued by a fresh water predator ( and, let’s face it, you aren’t going to outswim it given your diet ) drop this pizza into water behind you to create an impenetrable saltwater barrier and you are certain to live to fight another day. … Thanks in part to not having eaten that pizza freshwater predator or not. And, with your stay of execution you can reflect upon how a life in which you made the decision to go swimming while eating a pizza is going.
 
Texture: The hot dogs are also not terrible. They are … tender ? This a relief. On a pizza that reminds me of 28 bar mitzvahs, the last thing i want is hard or rubbery sausage. As Hollywood’s Jason Biggs has taught us, that can ruin a good pie.
Social: This is a party pizza, a pizza to be enjoyed with company ’cause if you try to finish one by yourself you’re going to be in big trouble.
Mustard: Yeah …. Have you ever poured mustard on your pizza before? Me neither. There’s is probably a good reason for that.
Practicality: A low score here. Whether you tear off the hot dog bites beforehand or not there isn’t much of anything with which to hold a pizza slice by. Add extra topping and mustard into the picture and you might as well resign yourself to eating this pizza with a knife and fork.
Teenagers: Teenagers will poke the sausage out of the pizza dough blankets and proceed to be juvenile with them.
Slices: Apparently a slice of this pizza ( depending on toppings ) can contain up to 440 calories. If that is accurate then, in theory, an 8 slice pizza could weigh in at 3520 calories.
Limited Time Only: If you eat these you only have a limited time left.
01 fleeing hobbit6
Verdict: Okay to try one time in the company of good friends and/paramedics, so that you have witnesses to confirm that you did not dream the whole unlikely experience.