What Are Some Interesting Or Odd Jobs You’ve Had?

0
We all had to start in odd jobs somewhere. Maybe you got your start at a local farm or an animal shelter. If you’re of a certain age, your first job might have been operating telephones or delivering newspapers. Everyone has a unique career path filled with cool jobs and fun careers. What’s yours?

What Are Some Interesting Or Odd Jobs You’ve Had?

What’s A Food You Really Hate?

0
Come on, get it out. Sound off! Vent! If you could, you’d make all of this food disappear forever.

What’s A Food You Really Hate?

 

What Would You Hit With A Riding Lawnmower?

After a holiday weekend, there’s not much to draw you back to the office. In fact, you might even feel a little grumpy about having to go back. Would it help if you had a powerful garden management tool to ride to work? If you do own a riding lawnmower, you may want to consider metal storage over plastic storage to decrease the chance of damage and keep your lawnmower secure and in the best condition you possibly can.

What would you hit with a riding lawnmower?

Two Children Told Their Mom To Stay In Bed One Mother’s Day Morning…

0

Funny Joke Of The Day

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. “As a surprise for Mother’s Day,” one explained, “we decided to cook our own breakfast!”  

Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

What A Coincidence!

Funny Joke of the Day!

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, “How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!” “What a coincidence,” the farmer said. “This is a special day for me; I am celebrating.” “This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,” said the woman. “What a coincidence!” said the farmer. As they clinked glasses, he added, “What are you celebrating?” “My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!” “What a coincidence!” said the man. “I’m a chicken farmer, and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.” “That’s great!” said the woman, “How did your chickens become fertile?” “I used a different rooster,” he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, “What a coincidence!” Source

More Funny Jokes Here!

11 Of The Best Personal Life Hacks

0
There are so many things we do in a day that we just take for granted. We figure we’re doing it correctly because that’s how we’ve always done it. But the truth is that there’s probably a more efficient, effective way to do just about everything if you’d only pull your head out of your– uh, that is to say, if you’d take a moment to rethink how you’re approaching everyday tasks! Here are just a few.

1. Drinking Beverages

It’s 2016. If you aren’t taking your hot cocoa through your nose in order to clear your sinuses while you sip, you’re basically a caveman at this point.

2. Sleeping

A full eight hours? Try 16. Sounds like a big chunk of time out of your day, right? Not if you break it into little chunks. Grab 30 seconds of sleep once a minute or so. You’ve never felt so rested!

3. Brushing Your Teeth

Forget the brush. Just cake the toothpaste onto your choppers, dry it with a ceiling fan or a hair dryer, and enjoy a minty shell of hardened paste protecting your pearly whites all day.

4. Electrolyze Your Scalp

Tired of wasting time and money at the hair salon? Invest in a wig and a one-time electrolysis treatment to stop your head from growing new hair. Problem solved.

5. Reading

If you’re using your own two eyes to read this text instead of paying an outsourcing firm in India to read it out loud to you, then wow, how do you even have time to eat every day? Pick up the phone and call customer support for literally any product you own. It’ll save you time, dummy.

6. Eating Shellfish

Indulging in a little surf and turf? Eat the lobster shells. Don’t ask why! You’ll do as the life hackers tell you.

7. Home Repairs

The best way to save time and energy on home repairs? Just don’t do them. If you’ve got a bucket to collect the rain, then why bother patching up a leaky roof? An even better hack is to hire someone to fix the leak in your roof, like austin roof repair companies… That way, you don’t need to lift a finger and there’s no more leak!

8. Stop Cleaning

Who needs a trashcan? There’s no law against just throwing garbage out the window, now it’s someone else’s problem.

9. Start Cleaning Again

Okay, we’ve just been informed that pretty much no matter where you go in the world there are tons of laws against throwing garbage out the window. Maybe go ahead and keep your trash can for now. Although it might be a good idea to get that window fixed using somewhere like Maui Windows just in case you want to keep your stuff safe.

10. Exercise

Don’t waste money on a gym membership! Save money by making your own protein shakes and then not working out at home. You can watch attractive people working out on YouTube to still get that gym feeling. All jokes aside, you don’t need a fancy gym membership to stay in shape. You can easily get some affordable gym equipment. You can get some of the best elliptical under 500 dollars. You’ll feel better when you start exercising too and maybe you can start doing some of the other stuff on this list.

11. Funeral Arrangements

Getting on in years? Why waste money on funeral arrangements when you could just jump right into a wood chipper? No muss no fuss! The “normal” way to do things, more often than not, just makes life more complicated. Simplify, simplify, simplify! Whether that means having an eye removed so your glasses prescription costs half as much or riding to work piggyback-style with your largest co-worker. Simplicity is the essence of, uh … keeping things simple. Right.

Help Us Write A Never-Ending Story

0
Everyone takes turns posting 1-2 sentence comments that continue the story. You don’t necessarily have to follow what the previous person was going toward, but you should use the starting point they left you. Most importantly, have fun! Here we go:

In a dark forest far, far away, the night was young. In that forest was a village, and in the village lived a man named Tom …

What’s The Best Way To Get Motivated?

0
Do you need energy? More energy than you currently have? Or do you have more energy than you currently want?

What’s The Best Way To Get Motivated?

 

5 Things Shaped Like A Banana

Bananas are everywhere. Not only are they one of the first foods we ever eat, but they are known for offering an abundance of nutrients. On the other hand, they are often seen in video games, especially those made by Nintendo, and a frequent punchline for jokes- those appropriate for all ages and those that lean slightly more towards offensive. Finally, there are quite a few everyday objects that oddly resemble this popular fruit. Here’s a quick look at 5 items that are shaped like a banana.

The Moon

Quite a few children’s books involve not so bright characters who manage to stand on a rickety ladder and eat the moon after confusing it for a banana. When you think about it, it totally makes sense. The moon, when it is in certain phases, definitely has a banana-esque appearance.

Macaroni

Whether they are stringing it together as a part of a fashionable necklace or gluing it on a plate to make a smiley face, many a kid has noticed the strikingly similar features of macaroni to bananas. They are right, which leads to one big question. Aren’t these kids a tad too advanced to be crafting with macaroni?

Natalie Portman, Nicole Kidman, and Anne Hathaway

Yes, bodies can be shaped like a banana and these three Hollywood stars are classic examples. Think about it. Their shoulders and hips are about the same size and they have a short, non-defined waist accompanied by a booty that could desperately benefit from a few billion lunges. Essentially, they are shaped like a banana. Need a few more examples? Take a look at Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz. Again, a classic banana shape.

Canoes

Simply add a coat of bright yellow paint and it looks like people are careening across the lake on a huge banana, doesn’t it?

… Well… You Know…

Let’s not even pretend like this part of the male anatomy wasn’t the first thing that came to your mind when you read the words “shaped like a banana.” Everything else was just an afterthought, right?

Ladies Razor Stops Car Theft!

0

Her car got broken into. Well, not broken into since it seems she had left the passenger door unlocked.

The crime scene seemed a bit odd to her so she decided to be an amateur CSI tech(she really wasn’t one in real life nor did she play one on television, but she did pretty good playing the interactive game on Facebook) and piece together the sequence of events.

It was obvious that the thief

(it was a small car and the other car doors remained locked so it was probably just one person) had taken the 98 pennies and her Aldi quarter from the change cup. For those of you who don’t know what an Aldi quarter is, let me explain briefly: You use a quarter to get a shopping cart but you get your quarter back when you return it. The innovative part is how they do it. ALDI’s uses a small system created by Systec called a duraloc. The mechanism is simple. All shopping carts are daisy chained together using these small duraloc devices. To release a shopping cart for usage you need only put a quarter in the device and it releases the cart via a simple latch system like a seat belt. When you return the cart you clip it back onto the chain of carts and it releases your quarter.

It appeared that the perpetrator or ‘perp’ had started going through the center console.

The top items were thrown around but not taken. The thief looked through then tossed aside the bag containing her jewelry. It was sitting on the front passenger seat. At first, she figured someone had walked by and scared off the thief. But upon closer inspection of the center console, she saw that the head of the razor she kept in there (for on-road shaving emergencies ) was bent and broken. The perpetrator must have started digging and jammed his/her hand on it! BWAHAHAHA!!!! Sweet justice! Thankfully, she didn’t see any blood so she is pretty sure her car doesn’t have any blood-borne diseases. Though, it really is a shame if you think about it. Maybe she could have gotten DNA from it to help the police track down the thief. Anyway, the arch-criminal can use the $1.23 taken to buy a band-aid. Thus, not profiting from the crime.              

How Hungry Are You? – Quiz

How Hungry Are You?

We’ve all been there: sometimes you just need help figuring out EXACTLY how hungry you are. No worries, fam. We put together this scientifically engineered quiz to hypothesize your personal hunger percentage. Enjoy!

What do you feel like eating right now?

How many baskets of fish and chips could you eat?

What does this Rorschach inkblot look like?

Advertisement

A fresh slice of your favorite pie was delivered to you! However, it is suspiciously missing a bite-sized morsel. You:

Which color is most appealing to you?

When will you most likely eat next?

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man, Part 8: Pirate Panties

Previously on Tartan The Ape-Man
Rat-dogs attack, Morag flees from squirrel poop, Quickbooks continues to be ineffective in jungle pursuit scenarios and cinnamon sticks prove not to be satisfactory remuneration for an elephant ride. What will Tartan ride after the elephant? What does Dr. Blancface reveal? How much sunblock is too much sunblock? All this and more is exposed in the next episode of  ….
Tartan The Ape-Man: Pirate Panties…
Tartan The Apeman Story1 Page 8a

Carbs, not the enemy of a diet

0
I’m not sure how many times I’ve spoken with a friend or new client and when I’ve asked what steps have they taken to lose weight in the past and the answer was “I cut carbs out of my diet.” Even celebrity diets, like the Emily Ratajkowski diet plan, don’t cut carbs and she especially always looks phenomenal! Anyway, I usually shake my head and ask if they’ve had any headaches or loss of energy while trying this method and, sure as C4 give you the beta burns, they reply with “Yes.” Even though you can take a herbal stimulant like Kratom to tackle that tiredness, which you can find out more about at https://www.mitrascience.com/, there are so many reasons as to why you shouldn’t completely cut carbs out of your weight loss diet. First and foremost, carbohydrates are your main source of energy. Even with proteins and fats in a diet, they act more as fuel seeing the body takes longer to process proteins and fats than it does carbs. Carbs, when consumed are usually the first and immediate source of energy during an activity. We need a lot of fuel and energy to keep our bodies working when we’re at the gym or doing any daily life activity. When you cut out carbs completely during a diet, it may seem as if the weight is just shedding off but you’re depleting your system of a valuable source of energy which can turn out to be harmful to your muscles and liver. With so many contrasting opinions on what is and isn’t good for our bodies, it can be easier to simply have healthy, balanced meals delivered to their door. Have a read of these Meal Kit Advisor reviews to see which companies offer this, and if it could be a sensible option for you. However, it is a good idea to have a general understanding of what each food type has to offer. Glycogen is the product after carbs are broken down. Your liver and muscles both store glycogen as a source of fuel and energy but when you deplete your system of the necessary glycogen needed your body uses the glycogen reserve stored in your liver and muscles. You can use up the glycogen in your liver and muscles as quickly as two days. With the loss of glycogen, it may look on the scale as if you have loss some weight, but instead you are losing valuable fluid necessary for your body to function. Typically, you will find that those who are on low carb or no carb diets tend to quit working out and have more bodily aches due to the high stress put on the body. Without carbs, your muscles become fatigued quicker and take longer to recover. If you’re looking to lose weight, you should keep moving, and if you have no energy to move, you can’t lose weight. With the loss of carbohydrates, you are probably dehydrated. In a low or no carb diet you may find that fats are usually the replacement. You may see a diet with a meal consisting of nuts or adding healthy fats like coconut oil. As much as those are healthy alternative choices for snacks and unhealthy fats they can linger in your system for longer than you’d like. Fats can provide up to tens of thousands of calories to fuel your body, but the down fall is that it burns slower than carbs. It’s also easier to eat fats than carbs and with that can cause you to add a surplus of calories to your diet which will result in weight gain. Instead of feeling like every carb is a BAD carb, there are GOOD carbs as well. Good carbs consist of foods such as sweet potatoes, leafy colorful vegetables, whole grains and fruit (which should be consumed in moderation as well due to their high content of natural sugars.) Limiting and eating carbs in moderation and before physical activity helps you create the energy needed for your body to perform while still being able to lose weight. Carbohydrates are a key Macro in any diet, may it be for weight loss or muscle building, and are necessary for a healthy diet plan. Misusing the stored glycogen in our bodies can end up having long term effects on our liver and muscles. Not only are headaches and fatigue a side effect but studies have shown low carb diets have attributed some cancers. Instead of restricting ourselves of some of the pleasures of carbs, we should embrace our energy giving foods (in moderation of course) and expel the extra energy enjoying life.

Hilarious Ventriloquist Act – Nina Conti

Check out Nina Conti, one of the funniest ventriloquists we’ve seen.