There are so many things we do in a day that we just take for granted. We figure we’re doing it correctly because that’s how we’ve always done it.
But the truth is that there’s probably a more efficient, effective way to do just about everything if you’d only pull your head out of your– uh, that is to say, if you’d take a moment to rethink how you’re approaching everyday tasks! Here are just a few.
1. Drinking Beverages
It’s 2016. If you aren’t taking your hot cocoa through your nose in order to clear your sinuses while you sip, you’re basically a caveman at this point.
A full eight hours? Try 16. Sounds like a big chunk of time out of your day, right? Not if you break it into little chunks. Grab 30 seconds of sleep once a minute or so. You’ve never felt so rested!
3. Brushing Your Teeth
Forget the brush. Just cake the toothpaste onto your choppers, dry it with a ceiling fan or a hair dryer, and enjoy a minty shell of hardened paste protecting your pearly whites all day.
4. Electrolyze Your Scalp
Tired of wasting time and money at the hair salon? Invest in a wig and a one-time electrolysis treatment to stop your head from growing new hair. Problem solved.
If you’re using your own two eyes to read this text instead of paying an outsourcing firm in India to read it out loud to you, then wow, how do you even have time to eat every day? Pick up the phone and call customer support for literally any product you own. It’ll save you time, dummy.
6. Eating Shellfish
Indulging in a little surf and turf? Eat the lobster shells. Don’t ask why! You’ll do as the life hackers tell you.
7. Home Repairs
The best way to save time and energy on home repairs? Just don’t do them. If you’ve got a bucket to collect the rain, then why bother patching up a leaky roof?
8. Stop Cleaning
Who needs a trashcan? There’s no law against just throwing garbage out the window, now it’s someone else’s problem.
9. Start Cleaning Again
Okay, we’ve just been informed that pretty much no matter where you go in the world there are tons of laws against throwing garbage out the window. Maybe go ahead and keep your trash can for now.
Don’t waste money on a gym membership! Save money by making your own protein shakes and then not working out at home. You can watch attractive people working out on YouTube to still get that gym feeling.
11. Funeral Arrangements
Getting on in years? Why waste money on funeral arrangements when you could just jump right into a wood chipper? No muss no fuss!
The “normal” way to do things, more often than not, just makes life more complicated. Simplify, simplify, simplify! Whether that means having an eye removed so your glasses prescription costs half as much or riding to work piggyback-style with your largest co-worker. Simplicity is the essence of, uh … keeping things simple. Right.