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Household Uses for Sawdust

When you think of sawdust, you probably don’t think of it as anything useful. In fact, you probably only have negative connotations in your head when it comes to sawdust. You think that your neighbor’s homemade pumpernickel bread with baked-in chopped olives and diced bananas tastes like sawdust. Wordworkers are constantly trying to extract it with exhaust fans by Integrated Air Systems. And you almost definitely don’t think of sawdust as something that you would want around your home. But you’d be surprised. If you open your mind to it, you will see that there are many household uses for sawdust that make it so much more valuable than you could have ever imagined.

Make Surfaces Look Untouched!

You didn’t want to have to move back in with your parents, but you really didn’t have a choice. You lost your job because your boss thought it would be cheaper to hire a high school kid to come in and do your work, and you haven’t been able to find another job yet because your boss is going around telling all of your new prospective employers that you come to work in a monkey costume. It was ONE time, for crying out loud – why can’t he just let that go? But anyway, you’re stuck living with your parents until you can find a way to make money.

Your mom doesn’t want you to touch her antique table, but you enjoy putting your computer, phone, and rotten bananas on it when you’re chillaxing every afternoon. You don’t want her to find out, so one way you can keep your secret safe is to sprinkle an even layer of sawdust all over that table. You know how when surfaces haven’t been touched in months or years, they have thick layers of dust on top? Create a thick layer of sawdust on this table, so that your mom is none the wiser about your afternoon activities.

Prove People Wrong About Your Cooking!

As mentioned earlier, your neighbor’s bread is one of the nastiest things you’ve ever put in your mouth. And that’s really saying something, considering that you once ate a rotten raccoon carcass that had been outside of your building for months. But that same neighbor STILL has the nerve to tell you that everything you cook tastes like sawdust. So next time you have this curmudgeon at your home for a meal, feed him some ACTUAL sawdust and see how he reacts. Chances are, he will have trouble chewing on it and will be writhing in discomfort from having to chew on that crap. At this point, you will break the news to him that he is actually eating sawdust, and this is how real sawdust tastes. Clearly, nothing like your cooking. After this, it is very likely that you will never hear a peep out of him again when it comes to the quality of your cooking.

Create an Outfit!

You’re so sick of all of your clothes. It’s not that they’re not cool clothes. You have those plaid overalls with the raspberry juice stains all over, and the pants with all those images of horses wearing glasses and laughing at cows. Your clothes are AMAZING. It’s just that you’ve worn them all thousands of times. You don’t have the money to buy new clothes right now, so what you should do is make your own! You could try to get some needles and thread and knit some clothes, but why not try something more creative and exciting? Why not make those new clothes out of…you guessed it…SAWDUST?! All you need is sawdust and water, and you can sculpt that stuff into anything you want. A shirt, a pair of pants, shoes…anything! And then when you’re done with the sculpting and they’ve dried, you can paint them any way you want. It will be rather difficult to actually wear these clothes, but at least you have them looking awesome in your closet!

Hide Your Mistakes!

We all have things that we don’t want others to see. Whether we’re embarrassed by them or we just think they might make people angry, we just want to keep them hidden. Sawdust gives you an excellent opportunity to hide things. All you need to do is throw a bunch on top of whatever you don’t want people to see, and BAM – it’s hidden! This works with just about anything. Don’t want your friend to see the pair of shoes you stole from her while she was doing handstands on top of her TV? Throw some sawdust on top of them before she comes over! Don’t want your professor to see that ridiculous response to one of his essay questions that makes it obvious that you have no idea what you’re talking about? Cover that part of the paper with sawdust! You can avoid a lot of trouble this way.

Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickles is a fun social media humor community centered on everyday nonsense. We base our humor in our community, reactions and comments. We enjoy building a community of friends not just followers. If you haven't laughed yet today, something is wrong!
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