A Man Walks Into A Bar Jokes
You’ve heard ‘a man walks into a bar’ jokes forever, even before you were of legal drinking age. Walking into a bar is apparently hilarious. Actually, it isn’t, BUT the punchlines derived from ‘walks into a bar’ are! The setup is so simple that the punchline- usually a play on words combined with many other variables, like the ‘man’ that walks into a bar can be a woman, a sandwich, or a unicorn. It doesn’t matter as long as the old-school setup of ‘walks into a bar’ is the same distinct theme. Here are our favorite ‘walks into a bar’ jokes!
A Man Walks Into a Bar…
The bartender says, “Congratulations, you are our thousandth customer! Enjoy this complimentary beer.”
Man:Â “Hey, thanks!”
Bartender: “Of course, and it’s only five dollars!”
Man: “I thought you said it was complimentary?”
Cashier:Â “It is”
Beer: “You have beautiful eyes.”
A Man Walks into a Bar…
He tells the waitress, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary and a menu.”
When she returns with his drink, he asks “Still servin’ breakfast?”
When she says yes, he replies, “Then I’ll have two eggs- runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon ON END- well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee.”
Indignantly the waitress says, “We don’t serve that kinda stuff in here!”
The man says, “Funny… that’s what I had in here yesterday…”
A Duck Walks Into a Bar…
Says to the bar tender, “I’d like to buy some peanuts.” Bartender says, “Sorry, don’t sell peanuts.” The duck leaves.
Next day, duck walks into the bar, “I want to buy some peanuts.” Bartender replies, “I already told you I don’t sell peanuts!” The duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks into the bar, “I want to buy some peanuts!” Bartender yells back, “I told you, I don’t sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I’ll nail you to the wall!” So the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks into the bar, “Do you have any nails?” Bartender says, “Sorry, don’t have nails.” Duck asks, “Do you have any peanuts?”
Short Funny Math Joke
Last night I dreamed that I was weightless. I was like, 0mg.
Funny Math Joke
I’ll do algebra.
I’ll do trig.
I’ll even do statistics, but
graphing is where I draw the line.
Funny Math Joke About Trigonometry
How do deaf triangles communicate?
Sine language
Funny Math Joke About… Math Jokes
Math jokes never work on me.
I have trouble differentiating them, they aren’t an integral part of the my life, and most of the time they just don’t add up.
Funny Math Joke About School
Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?
Student: 10.
Teacher: … Ok, well what if somebody forcibly takes 2 of the cakes, how many would you have left then?
Student: 10 and a dead body.
Funny Math Joke About Beer
Why is beer never served at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive.