When navigating the tricky waters of the zombie apocalypse, there are several Do’s and Don’ts one must follow in order to survive. Planning for the ultimate demise of mankind when the undead will walk the earth doesn’t have to be a difficult task. If you follow this advice then you should make it through until a cure is found and life can be restored back to normal. Just imagine what all those naysayers who said you were crazy and “needed to get outside more” will think when you end up being the one who saves their lives, or in this case pushing them into the horde to save your own.
DO stock up on room deodorizer
Zombies stink. There is no way to get away from that fact. Putrefying flesh, rotting teeth, and oozing wounds can create quite the odor, so stock up on some of your favorite scents. My personal favorite is springtime lilac. The flowery freshness will cover up the odor of decay and leave your zombie infested dwelling smelling like a country meadow.
DON’T try to give zombies directions
It is not a good idea to hire real zombies for that super cool idea you had for a post-apocalyptic music video just because you think it would be ultra-realistic. Zombies are notoriously difficult to give direction to and they will eat you.
DO surround yourself with the right people
By this, I mean people who are slower and larger than you are. This is a classic apocalypse mistake of thinking that it is better to be in a group of competent and strong people. When you are attacked by a hoard, the fastest of the group is the one who gets away. Make sure you are always the one in the best shape.
DON’T run the wrong way
Don’t run towards a cliff or some other area of no escape when being chased by zombies. Run towards other people, preferably the large slow people mentioned previously and then push them down, or tie their shoelaces together. It is imperative to slow them down long enough to get the horde off your back. Always say sorry, though. Let’s maintain some civility.
Follow these simple steps and take the guesswork out of surviving the zombie apocalypse. It doesn’t have to be a stressful time; you can make new friends and develop new skills while avoiding the rotting corpses trying to eat you!