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Do’s and Don’ts of Pregnancy

Undoubtedly, pregnancy can be a very exciting time for soon-to-be parents. However, many people find that pregnancy proves to be just as daunting as it is exciting. Of course, all soon-to-be mothers want to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery with as little discomfort and pain as possible. Therefore, it should come to no surprise that many expecting mothers refer to pregnancy guidebooks. However, pregnancy guidebooks are frequently long and confusing.

If you’re looking for advice about pregnancy, look no further than this article of “Do’s” and “Don’ts” for a successful pregnancy. Fortunately, here at Monkey Pickles, we want to help our Monkey Picklers make sense of all the advice you’re likely receiving from family, friends, and pregnancy guidebooks. Simply follow these “Do’s” and “Don’ts” and you will be sure to have a healthy pregnancy and give birth to a healthy baby.

DO Go Out Clubbing in Your 8th Month

Now that you’re in your 8th month of pregnancy, it’s time to unwind and let loose. What better way can you do this than by going out to the club to celebrate with your girlfriends? Simply because your pregnant does not mean that you should stop having a social life. After eight months of morning sickness and cravings, you deserve to have some fun into the wee hours of the night. Bonus points if you go out clubbing with fellow pregnant friends!

When getting dressed to go out clubbing, be sure to wear 6-inch high heels even if your feet and ankles are swollen. Also, wear an itty bitty dress that complements and accentuates your baby bump perfectly. You definitely want everyone in the club to know that you’re heavily pregnant so that you can be the star of the show. To ensure you enjoy a night of unadulterated fun, be sure to consume as many alcoholic beverages as possible until you’re blackout drunk. Not only will you have plenty of fun, but your baby will surely thank you. Repeat at least once a week until you give birth.

DON’T Download Baby Apps to Track Your Progress

Whatever you do during your pregnancy, be sure not to download as many baby apps as you can to track your progress. Some mothers make the tragic mistake of downloading dozens of apps onto their smartphone to track their progress. If you ever feel tempted to download “just one app,” keep in mind that pregnancy is a natural process and should be treated as such. Therefore, you should not attempt to interfere with your pregnancy by tracking your progress and making changes to your lifestyle and habits accordingly.

You may be wondering, “What should I do instead of downloading baby apps to track my progress?” The answer is simply have faith and continue to live life as you normally did before finding out you were pregnant. After all, what did mothers do before these baby apps? Exactly. Therefore, there is no reason whatsoever to be wasting your time fiddling with baby apps. Your time is far better spent on more important tasks, such as going out clubbing. Even if all your other pregnant friends are downloading a new baby app every other day, don’t submit to the pressure. You will thank yourself later, trust us.

DO Sleep on Your Belly

As you probably know, lying on one’s back is often touted as one of the best positions for sleeping. However, if you happen to be pregnant, the sleeping position that will actually ensure the health of you and your baby is lying on your belly. Even as it becomes more and more uncomfortable to sleep on your belly, you should still continue to sleep lying on your belly until you give birth to ensure a healthy delivery.

DON’T Go to the Doctor for Routine Prenatal Visits

Another huge pregnancy no-no is going to the doctor on a regular basis for your prenatal visits after finding out that your pregnant. In fact, you shouldn’t even tell your general physician that you’re pregnant in the first place. There’s absolutely no point in telling your physician that your pregnant because prenatal care is entirely unnecessary for your health as well as the health of your baby. The supposed benefits of prenatal care, just like the supposed benefits of vaccines, are simply a hoax touted by physicians in order to produce more money for the healthcare industry. Don’t fall for the hype and save your money and time by skipping out on prenatal care entirely.

The supposed benefits of prenatal care, just like the supposed benefits of vaccines, are simply a hoax touted by physicians in order to produce more money for the healthcare industry. Don’t fall for the hype and save money and time by skipping out on prenatal care entirely. Certainly, your wallet will thank you.

Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickles is a fun social media humor community centered on everyday nonsense. We base our humor in our community, reactions and comments. We enjoy building a community of friends not just followers. If you haven't laughed yet today, something is wrong!
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