Kicked Your Monkey

Come on Gotye … There is never an excuse for kicking, slapping or spanking my monkey. Stop with your monkey abuse. Leave my monkey alone.


Meme monkey gun gotye logo.


What? …



Just ’cause you can’t grow a beard doesn’t give you the right to molest goats. And the name change isn’t fooling anyone, by the way. No one believes you are giant beard.

Accept the fact that you have a 14 year old’s ability to grow body hair and “Get Over It!”. Take up swimming … or Luge. You wouldn’t even need a suit for that. 

You could really transform that sport. It needs a little spice and you are always getting naked at the most inappropriate times. Turn it to your advantage.

What is that on my cat ??? Where did you even get the body hair to do that. I mean, clearly it’s not yours.

Give me the glue. 

You’ve really ruined this Wednesday. 

I swear … When I go out , you go out. You can’t be trusted in the apartment by yourself. 

Thank you Bad Lip Reading for exposing this monster. 

You’re a good friend.

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Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.