Funny Joke Of The Day
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa and summoned him to the IRS Office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” said Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”
The auditor thought for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”
Grandpa said, “I’ll bet you $1,000 that I can bite my own eye.”
The auditor thought a moment and said, “It’s a bet.”
Grandpa removed his glass eye and bit it. The auditor’s jaw dropped.
Grandpa said, “Now, I’ll bet you $2,000 that I can bite my other eye.”
Well, the auditor could tell that Grandpa definitely wasn’t blind, so he took the bet.
Grandpa removed his dentures and bit his good eye. The stunned auditor then realized he had wagered and lost three grand, all with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He started to get nervous.
“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asked. “I’ll bet you $6,000 that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side and never get a drop anywhere in between.”
The auditor, twice burned, was cautious, but he looked carefully and decided there was no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agreed again.
Grandpa stood beside the desk and unzipped his pants, but although he strained mightily, he couldn’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinated all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaped with joy, realizing that he had just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa’s own attorney moaned and put his head in his hands.
“Are you okay?” the auditor asked.
“Not really,” said the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me $25,000 that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”
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(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)