For as long as you can remember, you thought that tutus were the coolest thing ever. The opportunity to wear a tutu was the only reason you took all those ballet classes. The only problem is, you can’t dance to save your life. Saying you have two left feet would be a generous appraisal of your dancing abilities. Last time you tried to dance, you spent the last couple of minutes of it wondering what all of those ambulances were doing in front of your house. It turned out that neighbors had seen you dancing your heart out and thought you were dying.
But what you understand now as an adult is that you do not need to dance in order to wear a tutu. You can just wear a tutu for the sake of wearing a tutu. And you don’t even have to buy it in a store and have to deal with judgmental people wondering why a grown man would want an extra large tutu. You can make your very own!
In order to make a tutu that you can wear 24/7 until you smell like you actually have died, you just need the following supplies:
- Tulle or another type of stiff material
- Measuring tape
Once you have all that, you are that much closer to having the tutu of your dreams!
How to Make a Tutu – Choose Your Place on the Rainbow
The first thing that you need to do is gather tulle and ribbon. If you haven’t been able to find tulle, you can marinate some napkins in egg yolks or slimy garbage and let them dry, allowing them to become stiff yet pliable. You want the material that you use to be the very best color for you. Whether you’re using tulle or stuff that anyone else would see as garbage, it may be very hard to find material that is the right color. You’re the only person you have ever known that likes the color that is made when you mix traffic cone orange and lavender. So in order to make the material the right color, dump the paint of your choice all over it and smear it so that it covers all of the tulle or dirty napkins.
How to Make a Tutu – Take Your Measurements
What’s the point of making a tutu if you won’t even be able to wear it? Obviously, you will need to make your tutu so that it fits around you, not your sister’s new baby. You might wish you had the same waistline as said new baby, but alas, you do not. So take that measuring tape and measure your waist. Whatever it ends up being is the amount of ribbon you are going to need to go around your waist. If you want, you can add an additional length of ribbon for not only the bow you will have to tie but to accommodate any weight that you are going to gain from your new love for peanut butter and jelly pasta.
How to Make a Tutu – Cut from the Right Cloth
Now, it’s time to cut the ribbon, and cut a bunch of strips of the material. When you are cutting the tulle/dirty napkins, cut them into really thick strips so that you have the biggest, fullest, most flamboyant tutu possible. Normal instructions would recommend six inches, but why stop there? Make them as wide as possible, even wider than the length of the ribbon if you want. Make them so wide that you’ll end up having to wrap each piece all the way around the length of the ribbon. This may make the process incredibly difficult, but the end result should be worth it.
How to Make a Tutu – Tying Up Loose Ends
Now, it’s time to take all of your materials and actually make a tutu. Take one of the strips of fabric/dirty napkin you have created and fold it in half over the ribbon. Then, tie it into a knot so that you have both ends of it sticking out. Repeat the process with all of your strips of material. Or, if you’ve always preferred to do things assembly-line style, just put all of the strips on at once and then tie the knots. Of course, each strip of fabric would have other ones getting in its way while you’re doing it, but who cares if you sacrifice efficiency for the sake of efficiency, right?
How to Make a Tutu – Check You Out, You Tutu-Wearing Dynamo!
Once you’ve got all the strips of material on the ribbon, you are free to tie it around your waist and make a big pretty bow (or just an ugly plain knot, if you want a more masculine tutu). And now, you get to look at yourself in the mirror and see how amazing you look in your new creation!
And it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of…mostly. It doesn’t smell all that great, considering that dirty napkins went into its making. And the problem with the color you chose is that since no one likes that color, you don’t have any clothes in that color that would actually go with your tutu. But that’s okay! Simply dump the same color of paint all over your clothes, and you’ll be good to go!