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Household Uses for Cola

Next time you’re at the local grocery store, you should consider buying a bottle of cola. Why, you ask? After all, it’s nothing but empty calories and caffeine, and you’re just not interested in having to buy larger jeans that you’re going to have to run around in when you’re up all night. But really, there are all sorts of surprising household uses for cola that you probably never would have imagined. As interesting as these are, possibly even more interesting are the potential uses of cola that you can try out and explore in all the different areas of your home.

Defrost Your Poultry!

If you have ever prepared a Thanksgiving turkey, you are likely all too familiar with the fact that they take forever to defrost before you can finally put them in the oven on Thanksgiving Day. You can remedy this by using cola. One of cola’s surprising uses is that you can actually pour it onto your car windshield to get rid of ice build-up. If this is the case, what would really stop you from doing the same with a turkey that is taking way too long to defrost? And why stop at your Thanksgiving turkey? You can try this with all sorts of other poultry as well. Gone are the days where you have to be patient and buy your poultry days in advance. Now you can use cola to accelerate the process, which comes in especially handy when you have forgotten that Thanksgiving is actually the next day. As long as you don’t mind that your turkey will taste a little bit like your favorite soft drink, go for it!

Prevent Carpet Stains!

Cola is actually a really great stain remover. It can help remove all sorts of stains on carpets. If this is possible, why not take it one step further and use the cola for stain prevention as well? Why not just soak your carpets with it so that it is already there the next time your pet monkey has an accident on your carpet as a result of being uber excited about that day’s banana delivery? In fact, you could go all the way and soak everything in your home with cola. Tables, chairs, clothes, you name it. Stains don’t only happen on carpets, you know. You should bear in mind that if you do this, everything in your home will take on a brownish tinge and possibly be sticky to the touch, but won’t it totally be worth it if you don’t have to deal with those pesky stains anymore?

Make Your Food Less Greasy!

If cola can remove grease stains from clothing and other items, doesn’t it stand to reason that it can get rid of grease anywhere? A lot of people would like their food to be less greasy. Greasy food clogs the arteries and makes people gain weight that ends up slowing them down when they’re trying to take running leaps off of the tops of their cars into building entrances.

So here’s what you do. You mix a cup of cola into your macaroni and cheese with baklava bits or your peppermint patty meatloaf, and you just watch all the extra grease just melt away throughout the cooking process. Now, you get to enjoy your favorite hearty dishes grease free! The only downside is that now there will be a whole bunch of extra sugar because of all the cola that is now in them, but at least those extra calories are not coming from that nasty grease, which is what is really important here.

Improve Your Skin!

Cola has actually been shown to be a really great for the skin. It works as an excellent self tanner, and it also makes the skin really soft. So if small amounts of cola can do this to your skin, imagine what a huge amount could do! Imagine what would happen if you were to take long baths in cola. Better yet, why not spend every spare minute you have bathing in cola? Your skin would be so amazing that you’d constantly be pinching yourself to see if this is all a dream. Of course, the pinching could leave bruises, not to mention your skin would be so wrinkled on a daily basis from the constant cola exposure that no one would notice just how amazing your skin tone is and how silky your skin feels. But won’t be so worth it to know that you are putting that much effort into making your skin the absolute best that it can be?

Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickleshttps://monkeypickles.com
Monkey Pickles is a fun social media humor community centered on everyday nonsense. We base our humor in our community, reactions and comments. We enjoy building a community of friends not just followers. If you haven't laughed yet today, something is wrong!
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