Saturday, June 15, 2024
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HomeNonsenseFunny ArticlesComputer System Crash Causes Transatlantic Flights To Be Replaced By Bus Service

Computer System Crash Causes Transatlantic Flights To Be Replaced By Bus Service

Okay, not exactly … but,

Travelers scheduled on United Airlines flights were united in not going anywhere this morning as a 4900 flights worldwide were affected by what was described as a “network connectivity issue”.

01 cockpit

The airline denied that its systems had been hacked, news that somewhat eased the concerns of overjoyed passengers considering how far away technology was from making teleportation or flying trains a reality.

No doubt as a domino effect caused delays to stack up passengers may have passed the time by listing the reasons why they would never fly again.

Here are some of ours …

10 Reasons Not To Fly.

1. It makes your arms tired.

2. The in flight movie is Final Destination.

3. You are a fly and it would be an unnecessary indulgence.

4. Snakes.

5. You are Jeff Goldblum and it would be an unnecessary indulgence.

6. Bananas don’t keep well at 33,000ft.

7. Samuel L. Jackson will inevitably end up battling an army of wide eyed Japanese anime kittens that have escaped from the cargo hold.

8. The overwhelming logic defying realization that you are in a metal tube thousand of feet above the Earth and you are supported by nothing except the fear that if you think this shouldn’t work, it will stop working.

9. You are a controversial flag.

10. You are terrified that you will crash and get trapped in a TV that took 5 series ( or was it 7, it felt like 7 ) to finally reveal what everyone thought was going on by the end of the first series.

And also, that your movie career will be killed in the process.

Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.
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