How many times have you arrived for a party, only to find yourself BORED out of your gourd 10 minutes in? There are several reasons for this boredom:
- Your friend/parent/sibling drags you to the party only to ditch you once they find someone to talk about Westworld with.
- All of the “good” snacks are gone, and the tapas table looks like the tail end of a Black Friday church bake sale.
- THERE ARE NO PETS. I REPEAT. NO CUTE PETS TO DOTE ON AT THIS PARTY.
Now you find yourself wanting to pluck your eyeballs out at this excruciatingly boring party. Don’t freak out: we’ve got some stellar ideas for what to do when bored at a party!
Panhandle
Panhandling will really convey how bored you are at the party AND how uncomfortable you like to make social situations. There are several options for this idea:
- Create an instrument from things you find at the party and play terrible songs for the party-goers. Throw a hat in front of you to collect money (tip: you will not really receive money, unless you’re a phenom with instrument-making)
- Find a piece of cardboard. Scrawl something on it, like “NEED $ FOR IN-GAME CONTENT.” Watch everyone’s faces contort in anger/confusion.
- Sit on the floor in the middle of the room. Grab the ankles of anyone who passes by, and mutter “Got any change?” This is tacky AND dangerous!
Give Non-Stop Toasts
Find a glass, a utensil, and something to stand on. Get everyone’s attention by lightly tapping the utensil on the glass and standing up on your desired object. Start with something like, “I’d like to propose a toast… to our amazing host/hostess.” Everyone will be enamored with your etiquette, and kicking themselves for not thinking of it first. Right after you toast to the host, hop down for 10 seconds. Get back up and tap your glass again. Pick a random person from the room to toast: “To that guy in the plaid shirt, thank you for dressing so much like a lumberjack. It really means the world to me.” Choke back a few tears for good measure. Repeat the toasts until you are asked to leave.
Play Spin The Bottle
This is an old standby; when the party gets boring, play Spin the Bottle! You’ll need a bottle, and a bunch of mirrors, because you’re going to be playing by yourself. Lay the bottle in the middle, and surround yourself with the mirrors. You’ll always be kissing the cutest person in the room: you. Play Spin the Bottle in a room with the door not quite closed all the way. When someone tries to enter the room, scream “OCCUPIED!”; make sure they get a good glimpse of your game before they back away, slowly.
Start Some Trouble
A favorite of the bored party-goer is the “stirring up some $hit” angle. This can work whether you know anyone at the party or not. Watch people interact, find a target, and move in on them. Tell them something ridiculous and untrue about someone else they were talking to. “Katie is hoping you don’t have another diarrhea incident!”; “When Ben saw you walk in, I thought he was going to have another heart attack! Oh you didn’t hear about that?”; “I heard Chloe was playing Spin the Bottle BY HERSELF. Weird, huh?!” The lies don’t have to be particularly funny or jarring; remember, this is to entertain yourself while bored at a party, so just give yourself a chuckle and don’t worry about the consequences!
