Very few people have anything bad to say about honey. Even if you’re not Winnie-the-Pooh and wouldn’t be willing to spend days trapped in the entrance to your friend’s home to keep eating honey, you have to admit that honey is delicious. It can make a lot of sweet treats even better. What you may not have considered, however, is that there are many other uses for honey that are probably even more impressive than its ability to make that apple pie that you made from rotten apples somewhat edible. Read on, and you will see that there is so much more to honey than you would ever have dreamed.
Clean Up Messes!
This might not make sense at first. How can honey clean up a mess? It’s easy to imagine how you can make a mess with honey, but not how you can do the opposite. But just think about it. Imagine eating something you really hate, and not even being able to swallow it, so you end up spitting it out on the floor. You call your dog over to clean up your mess, but alas, the thing on the floor is so disgusting that even your dog doesn’t want to touch it. And that’s really saying something, because your dog licks his own butt.
So here’s what you do. You pour some honey on top of that crap on the floor, and then you call your dog back over. Chances are, he’ll be so attracted to the honey that he’ll just gobble up everything that’s there, including the disgusting gunk. And that, dear friend, is how you use honey to clean up a mess.
Glue Things Together!
Have you ever been desperate to glue two objects together and found that you were out of glue? This can be too frustrating for words! When you are needing to glue a candlestick to an empty milk carton and expect to find glue to make it an easy job, it can absolutely make you want to scream when you find out that there is no glue!
So what you should do is just find something sticky and use that as glue. And guess what’s sticky! That’s right, HONEY! So here’s what you do. You take that bottle of honey, and you pour it out where you would have put the glue. Then, hold the items together for a little while until it dries, and then voila! You’ve got items that are glued together! Sure, it’s messy and could attract all sorts of vermin, but you know nothing is perfect, right?
Cure Your Loneliness!
It can be really hard to see all of your friends in relationships when you are alone. No one meets your standards. You want someone who is sweet, doesn’t talk back to you, and is always there for you.
Have you ever considered a bottle of honey in place of a person? It fits all of the above criteria. And you know that people call each other “honey” as a term of endearment anyway. Now you’ll have them all beat, because you actually have honey as your significant other! They just have disgusting, stinky people, you have delicious and beautiful honey. You can do all sorts of things with it too. You can watch movies with it, cuddle up with it in bed, and go out to dinner at a restaurant with it. People might shoot you strange looks when you ask for a separate chair for your honey, but who cares what they think? And as a bonus, you’ll have something that can help you sweeten your iced tea!
Lure Bears Into Your Home!
It’s a pretty well-known fact that anyone with a soul loves teddy bears. How could you not? They’re so adorable, and they’re fluffy and cuddly too! The only thing better than a teddy bear is the real thing! If you are a fan of teddy bears, wouldn’t you love to have a living, breathing bear in your home?
Everyone knows that bears love honey. It’s fairly easy to lure a bear into your home using honey. All you need to do is pour a trail of honey from the woods leading into your home, leave the door open, and wait for your bear to make his appearance. Once he shows up, your pleasure might be short-lived because he might end up trying to attack you and you might end up fighting for your life, but think about how exciting it will be to have such an amazing creature in your home! It’s so amazing that it might actually be worth it to be eaten after a few minutes.
