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Eeeez Not My Drugs

“I swear Officer, they aren’t my drugs.”

How many times have we heard that line, on television? But this guy means it. The suspect, one Ricardo Magallanes, a student at the University of Texas at El Paso, is blaming the maker of the car he was driving at the time – specifically Ford Motor Company. He is so serious he is suing Ford.
Magallanes was caught crossing the border with 112 pounds of marijuana in the trunk of his Ford Escort. But as he says, “they aren’t his drugs.”
He believes that Ford Motor Company was so loose with the codes used to cut keys to their cars that the drug smugglers obtained the codes, then used said codes, had a key made to his car, broke in to his car, loaded it with drugs, and turned him in to a drug smuggling mule. Blamed is a Ford dealership in Dallas, Texas.
Even if his story is true and they aren’t his drugs, the entire thing begs questions to be asked even if they don’t have legitimate answers.

Questions such as:

  • A Ford Escort? Seriously?
  • And why Magallanes’ Ford Escort?
  • How did they know which car, located where, within the boundaries of Texas and Mexico, the key they had made would fit? There has to be at least 6 or 7 Ford Escorts in and around Texas.
  • How did the smugglers know when and where this specific Ford Escort was going to be in order to put the marijuana in it?
  •  Being that the drugs had to be put in the car south of the border, how is it that this car, once parked south of the border, still had tires, rims, and any part that made it still drivable?
  • Why 112 pounds and why marijuana? Is that the most lucrative drug the smugglers could think of at the time? And why not an even 200 pounds or even 500? I mean, seriously. How much profit can be made from 112 pounds of marijuana?
  • Did the smugglers make multiple keys and distribute them ahead of time across the country in anticipation of when and where said Ford Escort will appear so the drugs could be retrieved and distributed?
  • Are the smugglers losing their edge?
  • Are VIN numbers used to verify the car is one of the smuggling cars and if so, when did the smugglers learn to read?

As a TV crime aficionado I know the drill. If caught, no matter what, the catchee must uttered, “they aren’t my drugs,” even when the drugs are in their possession, in their vehicle, or on their person. When all else fails, blame the person with you, or in the case of Magallanes, the maker of the car you’re driving at the time. Then rush home and file suit, just to reinforce your claim of innocence.

Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickleshttps://monkeypickles.com
Monkey Pickles is a fun social media humor community centered on everyday nonsense. We base our humor in our community, reactions and comments. We enjoy building a community of friends not just followers. If you haven't laughed yet today, something is wrong!
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