My daughter could not eat a thing,
though she frequently fantasized about it.
So, I tried to refrain from cooking,
for fear that the aroma might cause her unbearable torture.
Her sense of smell, however, had suddenly taken on a canine quality.
She would send me texts from two floors up,
asking me what I was eating.
Turns out, carryout food has a much stronger smell
than I realized.
So, I tried eating non-smelly foods:
salad, raw fruits and vegetables, nuts, and cheese.
Fortunately (for me), all of the unhealthy,
non-smelly foods (e.g. potato chips)
had already been consumed.
There could be an advantage to this, I thought.
As my poor daughter was being forced to survive on
ice chips, popsicles, and jello,
maybe I could lose a few pounds, as well.
One problem.
Wine doesn’t smell.
At least, not in “that way” –
that lures starving tonsillectomy patients from the other room.
And, wine goes well with salad.
And, wine goes especially well with nuts and cheese.
And, there is plenty of wine in my house.
Willpower . . .
There is, also, a cooler on the back deck
that is overflowing with beer,
exceptionally chilled by the recent snowfall,
courtesy of mother nature.
Beer doesn’t smell (in “that way”), either.
Willpower . . .
Currently, I can only fit into one pair of jeans,
and a hole is developing in a very . . . conspicuous place,
which means that I either need to reduce
my eating (and drinking) habits,
or buy a new pair of jeans . . . shhhhh (in a larger size).
Gulp.
Willpower . . .
Maybe I should host a post holiday party
to get rid of some of this stuff.
In the meantime . . .
if I wear a long shirt,
I think I can still get away with wearing the jeans.
In the meantime . . .
pass the pistachios; they go really well with red wine.
But, I must crack those pistachios quietly.
My daughter has developed canine hearing abilities, as well.
