Monkey Mascot & The Spiders From Bars

Monkey Mascot & The Spiders From Bars

This works to Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie. So push play on video and read the “new lyrics below”

Monkey tends the bar,
dressed up but with no poo to throw…
The ciders were Pa’s
He displayed them as canned
Insane cocktail plans
Mixed up with cats & jams
Wearing medical bands

Wooed orangutans,
Lubed up thighs
& spoke in Urdu
From a flat in Japan
They could pick up his ironing
Or dine on meringue
Bring on the midgets man
A bung & the Snow White clan


Getting bare with some spiders
Not sure why but wanting oars
Just the mere sight of spiders
So we hitched ’em to the van
And “mushed” ’em along sweet sands

Splashing the shoreline
Driving the tarantulas cuckoo
It was too much mass
He wet his ass
Let out some gas
But he took it all too far
In the cab with a floater

Making love with his lego
Little bricks up his **hind
Like a leather pariah
When the arachnids left the van
He had to wade back to land.

Oh yeah


In panties & a bra – ah.

I reckon that is 20 minutes well spent. My version certainly has more spiders in it :))

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Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.


  1. I really like the Bring on the midgets man, A bung & the Snow White clan & He wet his ass, Let out some gas verses!! lol

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