Wednesday, December 25, 2024
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Monkey Business

Are you sick of working for “The Man” ’cause its sexist? Do you try to embrace everyone equally? Is that why there is a restraining order out against you?

Why not start your own business?

There will be less time for troublesome hugging and you might just make your fortune.
It’s The American Dream.

Wake up and start dreaming that dream but don’t get caught dreaming because there are pitfalls and potholes to avoid. Also the wheel has already been invented so … try and avoid that boo-boo.

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As a golden rule, if you wake up inspired to invent a fantastic something that you dreamed about and there is a name for it … grab a few extra minutes of sleep before you go into full production.

You must be aware that starting your own business will involve a lot of blood, sweat and tears, especially in the first couple of months. This can be due to the fact that potential clients aren’t aware that you exist. But worry not; this is easily solved. There are multiple ways to get your name out there. One of the most important parts of setting up a business is getting your brand out there. This is usually through social media and a high-quality website. Building a website sounds difficult, but with the help of companies like Wix and Shopify, the job is much easier. Wix is a popular site builder because of its features and simplicity, meaning most people will be able to use this without experience. Getting your business up and running on the internet is a great place to start. After that, there are a number of little things you could do to grow your brand. Why not set up a stall at a business convention or trade show and have on display your own Custom Coffee Mugs so that whilst they’re having a nice cup of coffee, they’ll always be aware of your business.

But what else should you be aware of when entering the world of business?

Here are 10 Handy Business Tips

1. If you plan to float your company stockpiling corks or helium balloons on site will not help the endeavor. You will just reduce your storage space & people will laugh at you.

2. The Stock Market is not a place where you can exchange ideas or recipes for gravies & sauces.

3. Wall Street is not the hub of the construction district.

4. Understand the term hedge fund. If you run a beauty salon and you are saving up for a hedge then you are probably laboring under a misapprehension.

5. You should already be successful before conduct business by shouting insults at everyone while wearing a ginger cat on your head.

6. When interviewing prospective employees, do not tie them to a chair and shine a light in their eyes.

7. Business mergers do not have to be negotiated as you join the freeway.

8. When promoting an employee don’t waste money on expensive television and social media advertising.

9. Gardening Leave is not vacation time for gardeners

10. It is not necessary to dress up as King Midas when administering a golden handshake.

SonOfMonkeyPickles
SonOfMonkeyPickles
Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.
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