June

Welcome Picklers !

Here is your guide to enjoying the Juniest June possible.

June is the month to be outside, hopefully not because your home has been repossessed but to revel in the sheer majesty of nature’s splendor.

It’s a great opportunity to encourage kids to learn about nature, exercise and appreciate the importance of protecting the environment. It is also a cheap day out. ( Sorry kids, that seals it. Prepare to be educated. )

Why not plan stay out for 2 days or a week, maybe for the entire month, since June is also Camping Month … And that means MARSHMALLOWS ( now extinct in the wild ).

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Before you set off, however, make sure you whip up some good old homemade Country Cooking. None of that instant microwaveable country cooking on a stick, mind you. The point is to try make those wholesome dishes from scratch, as Mother Nature intend, … y’know … after pots, ovens and stoves were invented.

But if you are not into baking the fancy nettle pies and skunk burgers eaten by the country kings and queens of old, you can celebrate June through the medium of Soul Food. Cook up a veritable storm of humble 1960s African American deliciousness from unappealing scraps you find in your kitchen. Although, you should avoid spare parts left over parts from any motorcycle maintenance conducted next to the stove because it was raining outside. ( Bikers deservedly have fearsome reputations but there are limits. )

Failing that, if you foster no desire to cook at all, you may satisfy your hunger with dairy products or candy.

Enjoy dipping your toasted marshmallows into your campfire cheese fondue but in moderation and as part of a balanced campfire diet or June may become known as  the month of cholesterol and diabetes.

Lastly, avoid taking Gummy Bears on your camping trip as real bears may take offence.

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Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.