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How To Break Up With Your Boyfriend

We understand it can be tricky to let him down easy. Even if he knows your relationship is stale and on life support, your boyfriend is likely going to stick around for as long as he can. Unless you are real ugly, a guy will continue his relationship with you even when it is cold and meaningless, just because he fears being lonely.

Lucky for him, you aren’t afraid to set his soul free and make him the loneliest boy on the block. For his own good, of course.

Here are some tips to make the process effective and permanent.

1. Make It Quick

If it seems like you might possibly be happier without your boyfriend, drop everything immediately! Time has shown us that hesitation leads to pain and suffering.

Don’t think twice about breaking up, do it right now! We’ll wait.

2. Don’t Tell Him Why

It can be easy to fall into the trap of explaining the abrupt breakup. Don’t do it. The less you tell him about why you are leaving, the better.

This may seem counterintuitive, but if he knows why you are leaving, he will waste his own time trying to be a better person and waste your time trying to do nice things for you. You’re a busy girl. (Or guy. It’s a new millennium.) You don’t have time for his stupid promises and attempts to improve himself. Just cut him loose and get out of there.

3. Find A New Boyfriend Immediately

This is crucial for ending the relationship the right way.

Unless you are off the market, he will likely continue wondering if you might get back together. Nope. Find a guy — a friend of his, if possible — and start dating.

If you can, move in with the new guy right away. Let your ex-boyfriend know that you are shacking up with his best friend Kris and throwing all his crap out on the porch. That will encourage him to literally “pick up the pieces” of his life and move on, rather than moping and feeling sorry for myself. Himself. Whatever.

By shacking up with his best friend, you are doing the right thing: granting him a brand new life. A fresh start. Good for you!

4. Keep The Dog

You picked the dog out together. That means he is yours. The fact that the dog likes you less doesn’t matter. He’s yours. Keep him. For maximum effect, send pictures to your ex-boyfriend whenever the dog looks sad or tired.

5. Let Him See You In Public With Your New Boyfriend

Be sure to hang out at your ex-boyfriend’s favorite bars and restaurants, or maybe even his friends’ houses or his place of work. Bring Kris with you and don’t forget to engage in plenty of public affection.

This may seem unnecessary, but it is a very important part of teaching your ex-boyfriend how to behave without you in his life. Show him how happy you are without him so that he can feel happiness vicariously through you. He may think he is angry at first, but you and Kris know what’s best for me. I mean, him.

We hope that these tips will prove helpful when dumping your boyfriend. You are done with that guy anyway, so do him a favor. Set him free! Don’t worry about his long and lonely nights with nothing but the buzz of crickets and his own thoughts to serenade him. He won’t even care. Really.

If you liked this, look out for our companion piece coming soon: How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend.

Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickleshttps://monkeypickles.com
Monkey Pickles is a fun social media humor community centered on everyday nonsense. We base our humor in our community, reactions and comments. We enjoy building a community of friends not just followers. If you haven't laughed yet today, something is wrong!
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