Friday, July 19, 2024
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HomeNonsenseFunny Articles*Fire-Breathing Banana Battles Giant Sea Pickle Dressed As Pirate*

*Fire-Breathing Banana Battles Giant Sea Pickle Dressed As Pirate*

*Fire-Breathing Banana Battles Giant Sea Pickle Dressed As Pirate *
 japan-banana pirate logo
In keeping with the polite nature of Japanese society the Japanese Navy have been deployed to respectfully ask the monstrous combatants, if they wouldn’t mind battling a little less destructively slightly further away from shore . . . providing that wasn’t too much trouble.
In response to questions about when the navy would launch the attack, a spokesperson was reported to have said, that this would take place just before drinks after a feast in honor of the terrifying abominations.
Thermonuclear petroleum puppy slapping company, Ronsanto was not available for comment on whether their practices may have played a part in the unfolding drama. A statement was released,  however, claiming that the incident was taking place off a mutated section of the Jersey coast which was a very very long way away from any of the company’s highly ethical facilities.
Something about this fantastic boast smelled fishy to us . . .  but maybe that was because we were at the beach. Nevertheless we continued our smelly investigations and happened upon a disgruntled whistle blower who we interviewed after complaining that his whistle was spoiling a nice day at the beach.
The apologetic Ronsanto employee explained that he was simply frustrated to the point of violent exhalation through a tin whistle by the decision to tip any fruit and sushi out of company vending machines into the sea as healthy snacks conflicted with Ronsanto’s corporate ethos.
A representative of the government, dressed in pink motorcycling gear, assured our report that the situation was well in hand.
” The situation is well in hand. Bananas only have a shelf life of a few days. After that the sea pickle will lose interest & just drift off.”
The Ministry Of Employment echoed this, protesting that . . .
“There is no record of giant sea pickle holding down any kind of long term job since political reform in 2008.”
When asked if the government planned to take a more active role, the minister for being dressed as a pink motorcyclist said, ” Regrettably, the government will not be able to follow its usual colossal space robot strategy. New health & safety regulations prevent my colleagues ( gesturing toward four colorful  companions ) and I from forming a human pyramid.” Adding, ” The insurance premium is just too prohibitive “
Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.
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