My jeans, and my skin care products.
I can deal with losing anything else. BUT, if I could no longer find my jeans, and if, heaven forbid, they should stop making my skin care products,
I JUST MIGHT DIE.
Okay, maybe I won’t DIE.
But, for sure, I will be OUT OF SORTS.
Well, I am officially, completely, out of sorts.
Once upon a time, a reputable clothing company made the most BRILLIANT jeans. They camouflaged all of my flaws, leading the world to believe (and practically convincing ME) that I had long, slender, beautiful legs. Not to mention, they complimented my ass(ets).
Friends would ask me,
“Where do you get your jeans?”
Weeks later, modeling their newly purchased denim threads, they would thank me, declaring,
“These jeans have changed my life!”
BUT(T), sadly, this story does not end with a “happily ever after”.
For, when I went to the store where I normally shop, I could not find them. When I asked the sales clerk, she smiled, and in an overly-perky, overly-enthusiastic, overly-compensating way, she said, “You just did not recognize them, because we have IMPROVED them for the benefit of our customers.”
Improved??? Benefit??? WHAT customers??? I want names.
I’ll tell you what REALLY happened.
Victims of “fashion pressure”, they caved in, they gave up . . . THEY CONFORMED. Without asking permission, they CHANGED my jeans, giving them names like “SKINNY” and “TAPERED”-names that I had always tried to AVOID. These new imposters felt tighter around my thighs, made my legs look shorter, and most certainly, did NOT compliment my ass(ets). I’d like to see that sales clerk try to squeeze HER ass(ets) into a pair of skinny jeans.
Sadly, I left the store empty-handed.
I am now in search of a new “perfect fit”.
Maybe not “life-or-death”, but definitely “blog worthy”.