Amazingly Accurate Banana Reviews

Instagram account bananareview reviews… can you guess?… BANANAS! Great job. #realbananaguy is #hardcore about his love for bananas (and Harry Styles, apparently), and we have mad respect for that. Here are some of bananareviews banana reviews!

#Whoa! Can you smell my #fear!? Well I hope not because you’re on a phone and that’s for ear/eye stuff! But this giant does smell it, as well as the irresistible #bananaroma of the precious fruit. Do you tremble like the big #baby guy? Me too. For if I make the sudden move, I will be surely eaten by nature’s fiercest/well-groomed predator! See how he eyes the #banana even though it is the #humanfood!? He has no respect/manners. He just want to steal my speckled #snack and get hair all over my jeans. Maybe if I stay still with this 4/5 #fearbanana he’ll pass me like #JurassicPark guy. Whoa #help. #dog #terror #instagood #instafear #bananattack #swag #bananajax #beautiful #love #dogsofinstagram #illdieformybanana

A post shared by @bananareview on Nov 5, 2015 at 8:55pm PST

“See, one day you are #plump and ripe and #yellow and fresh and have lots of friends on the Internet. Then #GAH! You are a #flattened piece of #banana jerky left on the sidewalk. So live #today!”

#Whoa listen hotshot. #Realbananaguy is not just about #fruit and games. No, sometime stuff your face with the #flavor sometimes #STUFF #YOUR #MIND! Is life-lesson time #buddy. And this time is about #time. Time is a #mysterious and powerful thing and also a #clock. See, one day you are #plump and ripe and #yellow and fresh and have lots of friends on the Internet. Then #GAH! You are a #flattened piece of #banana jerky left on the sidewalk. So live #today! You must #banana without compromise. Life is full of crazy rules that you mustn't give in to. Oh what, I am supposed to "not"'ride my bike through puddle? Oh I am supposed to "not make my own puddle" by pouring #fanta all over the store? Oh I'm "not" supposed to bike in the store anyway!? LIFE IS SHORT! Before you are the squishy, sad 0/5 #zombiebanana all dusty in the parking lot… make sure you #BITEYOURLIFE! #yobo #beautiful #truth #noregrets #thisisagrossbanana #bananaeveryday #fit #ew #love #taylorswift

A post shared by @bananareview on Oct 14, 2015 at 6:44pm PDT

“Why you step your #bananarrogant little #feets on my tasties!?”

Whoa gross I am filled with #realbananarage! Who dare #defile my sacred #banana pile? Think because you have the #extra legs you can just hop on my #fruit like delicious cushion? #HMMM? You see me #jumping all over the #foods like some #savage who jumps on food! No! And you can't read these questions because you are the #gross and #dumb #flyguy. Oh I hate you like tiny #bird! Why you step your #bananarrogant little #feets on my tasties!? I didn't ride the #bus for forty minutes to get you those #bananas! Those are #for eating/whispering my secrets to. I'm gonna smoosh you so #hard… oh you are #gone. Well buzz buzz you 0/5 #bananajerk. I can't feel my hands. #banananger #disrespect #bug #beautiful #lol #lovelife #hateflies #1d #gocubs

A post shared by @bananareview on Oct 8, 2015 at 8:30pm PDT

“#Shhh don’t wake #nuzzliesnugglies! Like they say, “Let sleeping #banana lie.””

#Shhh don't wake #nuzzliesnugglies! Like they say, "Let sleeping #banana lie." So ya, just take in the #soft splendor of #munch relaxed. Are you not soothed? Forget about your worries/legitimate #fears regarding your student loans. Think of a calm fruit, soft like #baby lamb and smooth like @vindiesel. Know that beneath the peel of #dreams there is comfort. Warm and #squish. Easy to chew. Oh boy my eyes are #heavy and my tum #at ease. 3/5 #zzzzbananas. #snooze #rest #thebachelorette #bananap #fruitnotfriends #beautiful #laugh #nightmares #harrystyles #fit #amieverswake

A post shared by @bananareview on Oct 10, 2015 at 9:40pm PDT

“I do #like taking my #fruit for the sunny walk. Maybe watch the kids #slide like young peels on the #garage floor. Maybe cry #near a hay bale. Maybe fight with #carnival #guy about what “too old” really means on a slide.”

WHOA what wholesome #banana fun. Don't you love spending the #day doing suburban #chuckling and munching with your family? Me neither. But I do #like taking my #fruit for the sunny walk. Maybe watch the kids #slide like young peels on the #garage floor. Maybe cry #near a hay bale. Maybe fight with #carnival #guy about what "too old" really means on a slide. Ah 3/5 #bananascore. #love #notaweirdo #beautiful #bananafam #banalone #again #swag #fit #diet #drake

A post shared by @bananareview on Oct 6, 2015 at 5:12pm PDT

“The hardcore is maybe #eating a whole #banana without breathing!”

Ok ya everybody #shutup and let a guy talk about #hardcore! Whoa yes, a #realbananaguy knows about hardcore. What is the hardcore you ask? IF YOU HAVE TO ASK THEN YOU'LL NEVER NOT KNOW OK! Maybe you are not hardcore enough, but I help with #street cred and #fruitpassion. The hardcore is maybe #eating a whole #banana without breathing! Is maybe looking the #tollbooth guy in his weird eye! Is #thinking about #spooky #bird! Oh, and maybe is getting the #tattoo of your #bananafam to tel their #banambitions! Oh yes, totally #inked and whatnot. 5/5 #hardcorebananas! #bananalife #lol #beautiful #crying fearofneedles #fearofbirds #dtftour

A post shared by @bananareview on Oct 24, 2015 at 8:56pm PDT