PLEASE READ: Monkey Pickles Guidelines
The following Terms of Service apply to your use of the Monkey Pickles Network. Hey, are you paying attention? This means you! Put the sandwich down for a moment and read this.
You are solely responsible for your conduct and your content on the Monkey Pickles Network and making sure you’re in compliance with the legal mumbo-jumbo we’re about to throw at you. First, it would be irresponsible if we didn’t also let you know that cleaning up our world happens one piece of litter at a time. Second, by registering with us, using or browsing this network, you acknowledge that you have read, understood and agreed to do your best not to burn the place down or otherwise compromise Monkey Pickles’ structural integrity. There’s little enough of that to go around as it is.
Monkey Picklers: It is okay to let your freak flag fly here, but do keep some things in mind! We reserve the right to block or remove trolls. Users that get their knickers in a bunch over petty, meaningless arguments over controversial topics are serious buzzkills, okay? No one wants to be around that. If you insist on being a killjoy, we reserve the full right to delete or remove any type of comment that we deem as trolling or capable of virtually killing someone else’s joy. If you would like to discuss those topics, take it into a private conversation somewhere else so the rest of us can get back to our monkey business.
You agree to the following Terms of Service and Use by using this site and its network.
1) DON’T: Post anything that would be considered pornographic or give the colorful image as such. Monkey Pickles just isn’t that kind of website, we like it when you leave a lot up to our imaginations.
2) DON’T: Post any links related to drugs, porn, malware, hidden re-directs, advertisements and or illegal activity. What you do in your free time away from Monkey Pickles is just simply none of our business.
3) DON’T: Spam, heavily advertise, or use any form of automation for posting or interactions. NO BOTS! Heed this rule, or beware the wrath of the Monkey Pickles administrators. Really, all we’re going to do is ban you. But then you don’t get to participate in our monkeyshines!
4) DON’T: Post any targeted personal attacks on anyone. It is okay to have fun, chide and jab each other a bit, but textual assault is an internet community crime the Monkey Pickles patrol takes very seriously.
5) DON’T: Post or use this network as distribution of unlawful or copyrighted content. Monkey Pickles will not be your infringement mule.
6) DON’T: Use any of our services or network to stalk or harass any other members. That’s really not going to help you get a date. Or a job. Or anything but a restraining order. (You’ll also be banned.)
7) DON’T: Use our logo for any purpose unless you ask us for permission. The mischievous monkey may look like just another pretty face, but that mug is copyrighted!
8) DON’T: Use any member’s profile information for commercial use. Seriously, who do you think you are, Google?
9) DON’T: Use any ****ing profanity or swearing. If you abso-****ing–lutely must use it, be ****ing creative. You don’t have to fracking say naughty, dirty, filthy words. There could be kids around, smurfing use your imagination. If you have no **** imagination, you could always resort to using &!@%ing symbols.
10) DON’T: Blame us if you are easily offended or don’t agree with any content posted or discussed. You are free to leave at anytime. If websites had doors, we’d tell you to make sure it doesn’t hit you on the way out. Get a sense of humor and come back!
FINAL THOUGHTS
We reserve the right to remove anyone from our network at anytime without cause and justification. We are not personally responsible for your emotions, loss of income, flat tires, lost puppy, the mustard from your sandwich that just dribbled onto your shirt, or anything else. Hitch up your britches and buckle your seatbelts: Monkey Pickles is a site you must use at your own risk. If you accept these terms, be prepared for a mouse-clickingly good adventure. If you do not accept these terms, well … we aren’t really sure what to tell you. We hope you have a nice day, but move along, there’s nothing to see here.
