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HomeNonsenseFunny ArticlesWacky Racers: Rick Pe? ... Rick P? ... Er ... Oops!

Wacky Racers: Rick Pe? … Rick P? … Er … Oops!

If you are going to be 21 by the time the next election rolls around or if your ancestors fought for American Independence in the 16th Century revolution or if you dislike barking carnival acts run by dogs, Hercules and Demagoguery, then Rick Perry may be the candidate for you.
Wacky races white-house Perry
1. Campaign Goals:

To win the Republican nomination, to be elected President and …. Geez! … What was the other thing?

 

 

2. What’s Different?:
Glasses!
Many speculate that Perry has the bearing of a man twice as intelligent as when he last ran for President although others maintain that his IQ score would remain unchanged regardless of what you multiplied it by.
 

 

3. Friends:
Previously played Chandler in Friends.
 

 

4. Famous:
Famous For inventing Perry Perry Chicken.
 

 

5. Siblings:
Brother to Luke Perry and Chuck Berry.
 

 

6. Stance On Gun Control:
Believes a good strong stance is essential … if you’re wobbling about all over the place you can’t hit anything.
 

 

7. Rumors:
Denies rumors about having a small periwinkle. Perry has been dogged by environmental groups for years, groups that claim a trouser pocket is not moist enough for a small crustacean to survive or … shouldn’t be.
 

 

8. Zombie In Chief:
In 2012, Rick was of the belief that Woodrow Wilson ( 1913 – 1921 ) was issuing executive orders as recently as 2002. Political analysts speculate that the governor may have confused the phrase “second term ‘ with ” second interment “
 

 

9. Lone Star State:
Upon taking office as Governor of Texas in 2000 there is evidence that staff covered up Perry’s attempts to order more stars for the state’s night sky.
 

 

10. Favorite Song:
Oops! I did it again.
SonOfMonkeyPickles
SonOfMonkeyPickles
Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.
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