Save The Turkeys (Feed Them Carbs) !

turkey, thanksgiving,

So, I recently saw a disturbing news story flash across the television screen: BUTTERBALL REPORTS A SHORTAGE OF TURKEYS.

A shortage of turkeys?

YES. Apparently, the turkeys have not gained enough weight, this year, causing a shortage of available turkeys over 16 pounds. The experts at Butterball cannot explain the reason behind this phenomenon. Since I have experienced the OPPOSITE “phenomenon”, lately, I thought I would write a letter to Butterball, offering them my expert advice. Dear Butterball: Send your turkeys to my house. We will eat a lot of CARBS, drink a lot of WINE (more carbs), sit on the couch and watch a lot of FOOD TELEVISION and, no matter how much they beg me to exercise, I WILL NOT LET THEM. I GUARANTEE your turkeys will gain weight. Sincerely, Concerned Turkey Consumer