More Amazingly Accurate Banana Reviews: Part II

By
Monkey Pickles
-
Bananas, Banana Review, Funny Review, Fruit, Food

We just can’t get enough banana reviews; yes, that’s a thing. Instagram account bananareview reviews… can you guess?… BANANAS! Great job. #realbananaguy is the Instagrammer behind bananareview, and we love his dedication to the craft of reviewing the best fruit out there. (We’re still talking about bananas, btw).

“What is!? Could be glistening #mermaid of tasty #fruit? Is magic #bananafish of legend, come grant me my #wish?”

“Look at the big #dog eyes… look they say, “What, I don’t steal your #human food. I’m just soft #pillow guy that poop on beach.””

#NOOOOOO! This is what I get, #sucked in by the soft ear and plushy #tummy. Look at the big #dog eyes… look they say, “What, I don’t steal your #human food. I”m just soft #pillow guy that poop on beach.” #Whoa! I fooled again! Sometimes even #realbananaguy gets caught up in the #snuggle and the #cuddle. Carried away in the #fluff yet debonair attitude of the #posh dog. AND I HAVE PAID WITH #BANANA! Oh yes, #bananafam… this #savage has firm control over my precious fruit, and it will meet a weird, four-legged end. Was it worth it, to lose the #fresh 4/5 #banana to spend quality time with #dog supreme? The heart might say yes, but the #tumtum says no… #bananatrap #tricked #george #thief #lilbatpig #imashamed #diet #dogs #beach #cryingwithadogonthebeach #harrystyles

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“If to love the 4/5 #bananscore is crime, then put me away!”

“I’m #RipeOrDie for my main bunch, but after that it’s all about the #bananjamins!”

OH #SNAPS my #bananafam! Ya’ll know who’s #freshest in #banana game. Who’s got that #ripe #fruitflow that got all the produce sections #poppin and all the ladies generally staying away altogether? That right, is #realbananaguy. Oh yes, I’m #RipeOrDie for my main bunch, but after that it’s all about the #bananjamins! Some people/college advisors might not respect the #street cred of the #banana. They might see its warm yellow curve as a “borderline dangerous distraction” from reality. But they #hatin cuz they hungry! Whoa. See how I be getting that paper? See how my Dad left his wallet out and I took a #swagpic? See how I’m crying softly onto my phone as I eat this 4/5 #ballinbanana? No, you don’t because it’s dark in this bathroom. #BALLIN! #bananaballer #cashmoney #sorry #dad #grounded #swag #diet #fit #actualdebt #dreambig #cryendlessly #gucci

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“See how it sits like dignified #fruitlord? Reign over other peasant snacks.”

#Honor. It come in many forms. Hold in your sneeze next to old ladies? Is honor. #Dad let you watch #Fast and Furioust? HONOR. Keep that a secret from mom? Ya sneaky honor. Honor is how you honor the things that are important. That why the noble munch, the righteous #banana, gets place of honor in cart. See how it sits like dignified #fruitlord? Reign over other peasant snacks. Look at the majestic peels, perched aloft like lofty crown on groceries of yore. #Whoa, other shoppers stop and stare and hold their kids while I take #honorpics and sing holy #fruithymns. Glory to thee, 5/5 #bananascore. May you rule from the top of the cart #forever until you’re on my counter, Amen. #bananaristocracy #fame #naturalorder #onelove #fit #cool #goodtimes #mikesflipflop #perfect #nutrition #harrystyles #alone

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“#Realbananguy lives for the weekend because it’s a time to cut loose, to munch #banana unashamed and “be yourself.””