10 Reasons To Go Barefoot
1. You don’t have a choice, you are a bear
2. You are an emperor with a matching outfit.
3. You have Quantum Leaped back to 1984 to help Mary Decker win the Olympics but if you wear shoes everyone will realize you are not Zola Budd and you will be disqualified.
4. You are a centipede. It’s just to expensive.
5. You are auditioning for a lead role in Barefoot In The Park.
6. You are trapped on Bouncy Castle World.
7. You are a contessa.
8. You have fundamentally misunderstood what a fete is.
9. You’re playing in a beach soccer tournament and the other competitors are casting evil looks towards your heels. … They’re just jealous.
10. An old woman has moved into one of your shoes while you were asleep. Now your shoe is full of cats.