It hit me like a 2 x 4,
although, the mark it left was measured at
2 1/2 x 1 1/2 (inches).
I was convinced it was the BIGGEST, most GNARLY bruise EVER.
Not to mention, it was MOST impressive in both shape and color.
Were it entered as an Olympic event,
it would have scored GOLD for “good form”.
“Best In Show”, for sure.
It happened at the ice rink.
Though, I was not ON the ice when it happened.
I was not even wearing skates.
I was on a mission – to pick up my son’s hockey blades.
All I had to do was walk in, go to the counter,
hand over my claim ticket, pick up the blades,
and walk out.
But, I walked in the wrong way.
I walked in on the OTHER side of where I was supposed to be –
the opposite of where everyone else was going.
I don’t know why.
And, there was one of those THINGS.
You know . . .
about waist high, with metal bars that move FORWARD when you walk into them,
frequently seen at sporting events, metro stations, amusement parks, and . . .
ice skating rinks.
And, if you walk into one from the wrong SIDE
(much like slamming into a defensive hockey player),
YOU do not move IT.
IT moves YOU.
And, people who witness it may laugh.
But, the humiliation is not nearly as bad as the physical pain.
I told my son about it.
I had to share my humiliation with someone,
otherwise, besides for the battle wound on my right thigh,
it would be a wasted opportunity.
“Oh, I do that all the time,” was his response.
Apparently, the “apple” doesn’t know how to walk through a turnstile any better than the “tree”.