Double Monday
It’s cold & gray outside, the weekend has just been like 2 extra Mondays.
Nevermind Monkey Pickles now has a **** WARM SUNNY PLACE **** In fact, there is nowhere where the sun don’t shine.
Snug And Cozy
We are a stones throw from the golden sands of a private beach but you don’t have to throw the stone, there is a man for that.
Blue skies & delicate wisps of cloud are the norm but there is a refreshing sea breeze, which can be adjusted to suit.
Blue skies & delicate wisps of cloud are the norm but there is a refreshing sea breeze, which can be adjusted to suit.
Drinks
A free bar, of course, & light healthy snacks are available at the buffet. Don’t worry about insects. They all wear those little shoe cover things & aren’t allowed on the beach without membership. In fact they are really there for atmosphere. Plus, they also have there own sit down buffet like they had at finishing school.
More Drinks
Our barman is Chris. He is very friendly. No. He hasn’t lost half of his glasses. No one loses anything they don’t want to here ( wink ). That is a monocle. The tux is Lycra, ladies, not a tattoo. Chris is here to serve. I understand he does a good foot massage too. Chris’s hands automatically sterilize before preparing drinks.
Teetotal Animals
If you like animals there is a petting zoo ( well … reserve. It is fenced but their are no cages ). All the animals are friends but always pleased to meet new people. They are naturally impossibly cute, particularly the rabbits. Some you may not have heard of before, such as the Huggapotamus, the Elephantastic & the crocosmile. All are soft, fluffy & have oversized anime eyes. None are bigger than you want them to be.
If you like animals there is a petting zoo ( well … reserve. It is fenced but their are no cages ). All the animals are friends but always pleased to meet new people. They are naturally impossibly cute, particularly the rabbits. Some you may not have heard of before, such as the Huggapotamus, the Elephantastic & the crocosmile. All are soft, fluffy & have oversized anime eyes. None are bigger than you want them to be.
Jacuzzi? Yes We Cuzzi.
For those of you less into animals there is the ‘heavy petting zoo’. No animals here please . This facility is very discrete but guests are asked to be respectful of others. Here are saunas, jacuzzis & warm natural pools. And for those of you whom may need to dry small delicate wings, don’t fret the sea breeze ( which is available in doors ).
For those of you less into animals there is the ‘heavy petting zoo’. No animals here please . This facility is very discrete but guests are asked to be respectful of others. Here are saunas, jacuzzis & warm natural pools. And for those of you whom may need to dry small delicate wings, don’t fret the sea breeze ( which is available in doors ).
Celebrities
Back on the beech, if you fancy a dip afterwards a celebrity of your choice will bring you a warm dry towel, a drink & give you a back rub if you so desire. Please use some discretion as some celebrities may disturb other guests & Godzilla is not very good at back rubs.
The ocean is perfectly save but there lifeguards …or rather trained dolphins.
And the most dangerous thing in the water is too much fun.
A good read can complete a day at the beech, so why not stop by the Monkey Pickle Book Store. We only stock your favorites.
Back on the beech, if you fancy a dip afterwards a celebrity of your choice will bring you a warm dry towel, a drink & give you a back rub if you so desire. Please use some discretion as some celebrities may disturb other guests & Godzilla is not very good at back rubs.
The ocean is perfectly save but there lifeguards …or rather trained dolphins.
And the most dangerous thing in the water is too much fun.
A good read can complete a day at the beech, so why not stop by the Monkey Pickle Book Store. We only stock your favorites.
Well, that is the quick tour BUT there is much more to discover. So come & enjoy, then share your experiences and whatever else you discover so that others can follow.
