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HomeNonsenseFunny Articles4 Banana Life Hacks Scientists Don't Want You To Know

4 Banana Life Hacks Scientists Don’t Want You To Know

Most people know that bananas are an important source of niacin, vitamin B6 and potassium. They are great for energy after a long workout or run, and they are just plain delicious. However, bananas are more than just a tasty food. Here are four amazing life hacks that anyone can do with this amazing fruit.

1. Great For Cosplay

One of the best uses of a banana is for costumes and cosplay. For example, buying a proper VISOR for a Geordi La Forge Star Trek costume can be expensive. But it’s pretty cheap to paste a banana to your face. Bananas are also great as telephones, boomerangs, pistols, daggers and magic wands. Even the best Harry Potter costume becomes doubly awesome with a banana.

2. Personal Protection

Bananas are not just for food: They can be deadly weapons as well. For centuries, various martial arts schools have taught people how to use everyday objects as deadly weapons. The Kela School (kela is Hindi for “banana”) has taught the deadly secrets of the riboflavin-filled delight for centuries, since the first banana was discovered.

Many people fear home invasions, but not everyone is comfortable with owning traditional weapons like guns or knives. But even if you don’t have a Kela School master in your area, you can still safely wield a banana. All it takes is some quick sharpening of the outer peel and the banana can not be used as a fearsome instrument of destruction.

3. Beating Traffic

Anyone who has ever been tailgated by a flashy sports car knows how annoying someone experiencing a midlife crisis can be. Instead of brake checking that idiot or resorting to other physical violence, just chuck a banana peel out your window.

The key here is the throwing technique. You won’t be able to achieve Mario Kart results even if you do get it under their tires (physics don’t work that way, come on!), but if you get the proper elevation over the top of your own vehicle, you might be able to get the peel to smear all over the tailgater’s windshield. Bonus points for getting it stuck under a wiper.

4. Smooth Skin

The only thing that gets your skin smoother than a little banana is a lot of banana. Don’t just eat the bananas for their nutritional benefit: Banana is the beautician’s secret sauce. Some people smash it up into a paste and smear that on themselves, but the real trick is to apply it as nature intended, straight out of the peel. Open the peel a few inches and take a small bite off the top to reward yourself for your cleverness and to have a smoother applicator surface. Then hold it like a tube of lipstick and apply all over your face for silky smooth skin.

Koko the gorilla is over 40 years old, but you know she doesn’t look a day over 20! This pretty primate has unlocked the secret to eternal youth: daily application of the banana to the face.

Got any banana life hacks of your own?

Monkey Pickles
Monkey Pickleshttps://monkeypickles.com
Monkey Pickles is a fun social media humor community centered on everyday nonsense. We base our humor in our community, reactions and comments. We enjoy building a community of friends not just followers. If you haven't laughed yet today, something is wrong!
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