I used to love Oysters.
And, Mussels.
And, Peppers of every kind.
I remember being younger, wondering . . . why do old(er) people always carry a stash of Tums?
“Need a Tums?” one would ask (as if offering up a treat).
“Sure!” one would say.
“Pass one my way,” (would say) another.
Recently, I went to the beach with my partner/love interest/boyfriend.
[Sidebar: My next story should be “what to call your mate when you’re over forty”.]
We treated ourselves to some oysters.
Mmmm, with just a dash of horseradish.
And, of course, a nice cold beer to wash them down.
Not long after, however, I had this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.
Uncomfortable in a burning, knotted-up, menstrual cramps (but, not) . . . sort of way.
We stopped at a gas (station) for some Zantec.
Fortunately, that seemed to relieve the discomfort.
I haven’t had oysters, since.
On a separate beach trip with my girlfriend (a girlfriend is a girlfriend, at any age),
we stopped for some mussels.
Bathing in a soak up the garlic and capers induced broth . . . they were DELICIOUS.
AND, a nice cold beer to wash them down.
BUT, similar to the experience with the oysters, my stomach started to turn.
This time, I went home and took a Tagamet.
I haven’t had mussels, since.
Maybe I’m developing an allergy to shellfish, I thought.
But, then there were the peppers.
There were two separate occasions, because I was not convinced the first time.
And, probably in denial.
Easy enough to avoid oysters and mussels, but PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GIVE UP MY PEPPERS!
So, I was hoping the first time was a fluke.
BUT, it was after the experience with my favorite Greek salad, topped with grilled chicken, feta,
pickled turnips, olives, GREEN and BANANA PEPPERS . . .
that I knew.
Monkey pickles? Okay.
Banana peppers? No more.
So, good-bye peppers.
Farewell, oysters, and mussels, too.
I guess I AM getting old(er).
Tums, anyone?
