Some people are dog people and some people are cat people; it is simply a fact of life. The thing with dogs is they will go on walks, can be trained, and they can be taught to do tricks such as jump through hoops and catch Frisbees. This is not so with cats. Cats are stubborn animals who can’t really learn much besides going to the bathroom in a litter box and eating food out of a can. So, if you can’t train a cat to do something cool the next logical step would to do something cool WITH your cat, right? Wrong!
In the 1990’s someone decided to invent the furry sport of juggling cats; a small group of jugglers still exists today. Created by pot-smoking cat enthusiasts who needed something to do on their day off besides vegging out on their couches the general population through the strange fad would fizzle out within just a year or so. However, like Goldfish swallowing, this sport became a huge trend with the young crowd and has been sticking around for years now! However, this is a sport that you should consider not practicing. Why? Forget the possibility of animal cruelty; this is dangerous for you! Here’s why:
1. Claws
Have you ever really felt the claws of a cat. They are like small spears that can rip flesh from your skin. Did you have your cat de-clawed? Good for you; this is not really the biggest threat to you. However, for all those animals activists who think it is cruel to de-claw their cat; this can pose a real danger to you. Imagine that cat hitting your hands from a few feet above the ground. Those claws are going to hurt.
2. The Noise
Juggling baseballs, apples, or any other round object poses little threat. This is because they are naturally not dangerous, but also because they are quiet. Juggling takes all of your concentration and how can you concentrate with a cat meowing constantly in your ear; killing your eardrums with the loud sharp sound.
3. PETA Police
Yes, the animal activists have their own police force and yes they will hunt you down. The last known person to practice cat juggling was arrested by this police force and has not been heard form since. Where is he? What did they do with him? No one really knows… the only rumor who have is that he is locked in a kennel somewhere paying for the cruelty they said he was inflicting upon his cats by juggling them.
4. Catch The Feral Cat
In the small community of cat jugglers “Catch the Feral Cat” has become a popular game for dare devils. Those wishing to practice find a feral cat and toss it back and forth. They continue this until the cat becomes enraged and lacerates one of the two players. Once you are challenged to a game of Catch the Feral Cat” you must play. Therefore, it would be best to avoid cat juggling all together for just this reason.
5. Teeth
Is detail really necessary here? Just like claws; teeth are the equivalent to small knives. By juggling your cat, you accept the possibility of these tiny knives being driven into your skin on multiple occasions.
6. How Stupid Will you Look?
Really think about this one. Don’t you like the way you appear to your friends, your family, and the general population? You probably wouldn’t want to do anything that would tarnish your reputation. Above all, cat juggling does not make you appear to be the most sane or smartest person; maybe just stick to regular juggling.
Honestly, your life is in serious danger if you decide to take up the sport of cat juggling. This a sport that really should be avoided at all costs. However, if you are going to get into the sport be sure to first use Siamese cats and juggle them in sync; this can be impressive when done by the right juggler.
