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What To Do When Your Car Runs Out of Gas

Don’tcha hate that shuddering thing your car does when you’re just about to run out of gas? By the time your car does that...

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man, Part 4: Glee Mandrills

Last time on Tartan The Ape-Man ... Tartan gave a Glaswegian Kiss to a curtain of jungle paper, we learned about the anatomy of...

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man, Part 3

Previously on Tartan The Ape-Man.... Derek Shirtless survived but at the cost of confusing thoughts, Ance-cat quit the team and a rhino's last meal was...

The Continuing Adventures Of Tartan The Ape-man – Better Lake Than...

In a time that land forgot, a time when porridge roamed the Earth and man was not meant to fly, an ape happened upon...

Cinderella Pumpkin, Part 2: The Conclusion

Choking black bilious smoke rolled across the royal dance floor. "4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 !" shouted one terrified guest from near the buffet table. It...

Cinderella Pumpkin Part 1

Once upon a time there was a poor serving pumpkin called Cinderella... who dreamed of growing up to be a real wooden boy, marry...

The All New Old Adventures Of George, The Hastily Revised Contrived...

George woke up all of a sudden. Today his new life began. Never again would he work long hours at the diary delivering absinthe...

You May Think It’s Funny, But It’s Snot (And It’s Frozen)!

The text came in at 4:30 a.m. : TWO HOUR DELAY Several hours later . . . "Mom, can you drive me to school?" asked Sam. Charlie: Drive? Drive?...

The Tonsillectomy, Part 3: The Party

The patient has gone back to college. Left behind, is a refrigerator filled with PUDDING AND JELLO. Left behind, is a freezer filled with POPSICLES AND ITALIAN ICE. And, the cooler...

The Tonsillectomy, Part 2: Wine Doesn’t Smell

My daughter could not eat a thing, though she frequently fantasized about it. So, I tried to refrain from cooking, for fear that the aroma might cause...

Pickled Nickel