What Was The Best Cafeteria Lunch At School When You Were A Kid?

0
At some schools, the hamburgers were always bad but kids went nuts for the chicken burgers. At others, pizza reigned supreme.

What Was The Best Cafeteria Lunch At School When You Were A Kid?

On Juicing. And Messing Up My Kitchen. And Taking Care of Me.

0
I was raised healthy. Being from Southern California, my normal meals included yogurt and raw sunflower seeds. My mom was way in front of the curve. My dad, being from the south, just wanted his butter beans and collard greens – so it was not unusual to eat a meal that included cornbread, butter milk, salad with bean sprouts, avocados and homemade blue cheese dressing. Mom and Dad were always healthy. They may have had different ways to show it, however. Dad always made sure he had something green, which means he would have at least two olives in his martini. Mom carried around bags of pumpkin seeds and homemade granola wherever she went. Staying healthy was always on the agenda, and I will never forget the time they went through their juicing stage. I think dad wanted homemade tomato juice for his Bloody Mary’s (which of course included the green stalk of celery). Mom liked Jack La Lane, who even then was anciently healthy. Anyway, I remember Mom and Dad drinking pints of carrot and apple juice. (No vodka added as far as I know.) They were certain – and it was true – that it would help with their overall health. But above remembering my parents drinking their healthy concoctions, I remember them trying to tear apart and clean the dang machine. It took half an hour to make a glass of juice. And, even though we were above the curve in health, my suburban Orange County home wasn’t a place to compost. So there was always the issue on what to do with the “scraps”. Juicing was in its’ infancy, and mom and dad were among the first of the frustrated followers. So, fast forward a few decades, and the daughter of these trailblazers in health has decided to do some juicing of her own. Yes, I bought a juicer. And, eager to try it that second, I also bought enough veggies to fill the salad bar at Golden Corral. Except one minor detail – all my veggies are organic (and have not been sneezed on or manhandled by the early bird crowd). My first attempt to put the machine together was a tad bit frustrating. I faltered. I may have said something rude a few times. I pushed when I should have pulled. This left-handed, right-brained woman really has no time for puzzles. Especially when I’m hungry. Or would that be thirsty? Regardless, I came to the realization that my efforts would not be a quick in any way, shape or form. Once I finally put the dang thing together, I still had to wash and cut my veggies. (Side note: Beets DO stain. Everything. Including the white dog that was begging for carrots.) However, I did it. I completed my juice. I washed the juicer. I bagged and froze the “remains”. And, most importantly – I drank the juice. Did I mention I hate beets? Fast forward six weeks. My thoughts? It’s worth it. I rise 20 minutes earlier so I can juice. I still buy my organic salad bar. I found a friend that wants my left-overs for her compost. I still feed my dogs carrots. I still spill beet juice on the floor and the dog. I’ve found pieces of apple and parsley on my cupboards across the room. (Another side note – do not remove the “plunger thingy” while the food is still in the tube.) And I feel great. I sleep great. The “issues” I was experiencing have all but disappeared. I have energy. And there are even more benefits that I haven’t even begun to notice – such as the long term health benefits. I need to be clear here that I still eat solid food. I am not on a “juice fast”. However, I do eat as healthy as I can. For me, that means gluten free, less sugar and no processed foods. Unless the culprit item is one (box) of Mint Girl Scout Cookies. I also try to avoid sugary drinks as much as possible. Looking after your oral health is fundamental and therefore making healthier choices is vital if you want to look after your teeth and avoid cavities or tooth decay. Of course, you should also schedule regular check-ups with a Dentist in Kennewick or a dentist in your area too to make sure your teeth are as healthy as they could be. However, there are definitely some choices you can make at home to give your overall health a boost. Juicing is a pain. But the struggles – for me anyway – far outweigh the inconveniences. Why am I talking about juicing, you are wondering? Well, being a business owner, an entrepreneur, a multi-tasker and a juggler, I knew I needed to step up my health routine big time. I knew that I needed to add energy, get rid of the brain fog and feel good enough to be all that I can be for the things that matter most to me: my husband, my kids, my grandkids, my dogs, my friends and MYSELF. (Ok, not always in that order.) Taking care of me is how my business will thrive. Taking care of me first is how my family will be happy. Juicing may not be for you. But I’ll bank on the fact that there is something out there that is. And it’ll take effort. And you may need to wash the dog and get up early in order to do it. But in the end, it’ll be worth it. You will thrive and so will your business. Trust me. And if you want juicing tips – well, honestly, go online. The best tip I can offer is to stand back and have plenty of towels on hand. Here’s to a happy, healthy you! (Oh, yes, the fresh Bloody Mary mix is sublime).        

BEEP BEEP LIKE A SHEEP FOR AN HOUR!

Do you know how to Beep Beep Like A Sheep? Well, after this hour-long tutorial, you may just master the complex world of beeping like a sheep and its corresponding “dance.” Enjoy this funny video!

Do’s and Don’ts of Window Tinting

Window tinting is a great option for different reasons. Window tinting ensures privacy and prevents the rays of the sun from getting in the car and destroying the interior. It also allows you to make all the faces as you drive without wondering who could be watching. The truth is that settling on the right window tinting is as hard as hiding a ballad. Most people have ended up settling for less. Knowing how to maintain window tinting is also important as that is what gives your window that perfect look.

DO Consider Doing the Tinting Of the Window Yourself

This does not mean mixing different paints and applying on the window. You can always get a do-it-yourself kit sold in the nearby auto parts stores. This will help you to do the tinting that suits your needs. However, those that cannot manage to polish a shoe evenly may find it hard doing a window tint. To perfect the window tinting, you may first try tinting your shades.

DON’T Fail To Clean the Windows

Though the window tint may not display dust, it does not mean the tint scares dust off. Ensure you wash it with a fine brush, some water, a cotton clothing, and soap. It is possible to have dirt locked on the tint and this may cause some issues on the window. Avoid using anything close to ammonia to clean your window as this will alter with the tinting. However, if you want your window clear, you can try out some still and detergents. You of may use oil to maintain the shiny look the tint.

DO Avoid the Spray Window Tinting

The traditional window tinting has its advantages despite the spray tinting being easier to install. Ones you go for the spray tint, you will not be able to get the results you are looking for. Wait until you go for a spray window tinting and by mistake, you spray on a side mirror. The spray tint may be uneven and this means the window will not have a standardized tint. Despite how professional you may be, you may not be able to control the amount of tint that falls as you spray.

DON’T Forget To Check On the Areas Regulation and the Warranty

The window tinting for vehicles is regulated by the local government. This is mainly for security reasons. You don’t have to do a kind of window tinting that will make you collide with the law. Be sure of what the law demands before embarking on the window tinting of your choice. Failure to consider the area’s regulations may cause you to clear the tint on a day when you need it most especially when you meet with the hungry cops. The warranty should be reasonable in a manner that makes you secure as you wash your windows. However, a warranty covers only the tint and not the vehicle so don’t go complaining to the dealer that your car has engine issues.  

Post-Tonsillectomy Party Update – BYOP

0

Due to the “winter vortex”,

I can now say WITH CONFIDENCE that the beers (in the cooler) are “ice-cold”. In fact, the cooler, itself, is FROZEN SOLID. Please bring your own ice pick (BYOP). And, no worries. There are still plenty of POPSICLES and Italian Ice in the freezer.

There is still plenty of

JELLO and PUDDING in the fridge. You won’t need an ice pick for those, though the little foil covers on the JELLO and PUDDING cups can be tricky 😉  

No, Thank You

0

Tito Turkey lost his best friend Tom one Thanksgiving.

His friend gorged himself every time the farmers came around with food.  Tito realized that the closer November came the more the farmers became gracious with the feed. “Hey Tom,” Tito said to his friend. “You ever noticed that after every November some of us go missing.  And it’s always the fattest ones.”  Tom never answered Tito.  He just kept eating.  Tom became on of the fattest turkeys on the farm.  And sure enough, Tito awoke one morning at the end of November and his friend was gone.  

Tito asked everyone if they knew what happened to his friend.

No one had any idea.  Until that night one a turkey Tito barley knew hiding in shadow and muffling his voice with his wing came to Tito and said, “The great turkey under the coop wishes to speak with you.”  Tito went under the coop.  Two very thin turkeys lifted a rock and Tito was shocked to see small stairs leading down a scratched out hole.  He descended into blackness until he came to a large nest and in the nest sat a scraggy, grey, decrepit looking turkey.  He stared at Tito with one eye, the other covered in a milky haze. “Yo friend is dead.”

The decrepit turkey said in a country accent.

“Dead?” Tito said. “Yeah fool, he’s dead.  They ate him.  They call it, Thanks Given.  But should we be thankful?  Fo what?  For making us think you love us, given us all this food for a few weeks only to cook and eat us later on, while your slappen each other on the back and thanken each other for what eva.  I said naaah.  No thank you.” “So, how did you survive so long?  How did you get down here?”  Tito asked. “I quit eating.  Except for just enough to keep me alive.  Lived on a talon full of feed and a whole lot of water.  They thought I was sick, and let me go.  I clawed a hole under the coop one night and hid down here ever since.  Many have followed my example and took off on their own.  Others stick around the farm for my advice.  But I ain’t no leader, just a survivor.”

Tito left the great turkey’s lair angry and sad.

He quit eating, and once he lost nearly all his weight he took off on his own upon his release.  Tito travels the country, warning other coop turkey’s of the annual genocide known as Thanks Given.          

Time Flies By…

1
Here is a great waste of time message that came across. We dont take credit for creating this just take credit for bloggin it 🙂 Only a true ceritifed goofball would come up with this. HAHAHAH You could totally mix it up and add in some flies, beetles etc.. to make a really great story.. Any takers? What to do when you are bored at work… 1. Kill a few flies (look at the size of these!) 2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour. 3. Once they are dry, pick up a pencil and paper… Let your imagination flow.  

A Jockey Is About To Enter A Race On A New Horse…

0

Funny Joke Of The Day

A jockey is about to enter a race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘AAALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.” The jockey thinks the trainer is just fooling around, but he promises to shout the command. The race begins, and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey decides to ignore the trainer’s ridiculous advice. The horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers, “Aaallleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens — the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “AAALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problem. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is steaming mad. He hollers at the jockey, “What’s wrong with you?! What the @#$! happened out there?!” The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me! It’s this dang horse. Is he deaf or something?” The trainer replies, “Deaf? Deaf?! He’s not deaf. He’s blind!”

Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

What Popular Food Do You Really Hate?

0
It seems like food fads come and go faster than ever these days. Remember rainbow bagels?

What Popular Food Do You Really Hate?

An Elderly Couple Noticed They Are Getting More Forgetful…

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don’t forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. “You might want to write it down,” she said. The husband said, “No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream.” She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. “Write it down,” she told him, and again he said, “No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.” Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. “Write it down,” she told her husband and again he said, “No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.” So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, “Where’s the toast?” (Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

If You Can’t Run With Scissors, What Can You Run With?

0
Don’t run with scissors. Just don’t do it. But you still have to be able to get the job done!

If You Can’t Run With Scissors, What Can You Run With?

How Did You And Your Best Friend Meet?

0
Was it during your childhood? Maybe at college or at a later job?

How Did You And Your Best Friend Meet?

 

10 Reasons To Eat Monkey Pickles

We get email from the outer planets constantly asking what the top ten reasons asking “why?” They can trail off in a variety of directions after that but we’re just focused on the folks asking about us today. You asked for for ’em and now you got ’em. 10 reasons to wrap your lips around a Monkey Pickle. Go head and dig in, our treat. Numero X: Can you list off ten reasons why not to eat Monkey Pickles? I didn’t think so. Go on, get in there have your self a snack a some a that Monkey Pickle. They’re healthy and nutritious, never go out of style and you can wear them with anything! The best part is they come in nearly every color imaginable and we always have your size. ::humming::: reedle lee deedle lee, snip dap ba dee bop This excuse, ahem I mean reason is number 9. It was deported for crimes back in its country of origin. No one knows. 😉 ATE Bananas. Some people just think their monkey is better pickled. For their dollar there is no way they’d rather enjoy a flaming hot bag, and I mean the bag’s on fire now…not spicy, Monkey Pickles. The flames really open up your taste buds and allow the flavor crystals to cut their way in there. ::in a terrible Italian accent:: Delicious-a, the recipe is a unmatched-a. Seven: Tom Cruise is coming over for Christmas dinner. So be sure to set out the fruit bowls and cue up the unicycle riding squirrel ninjas. It is time to party. Also do not forget about the great pickled monkey dish we gave you in number ATE. It’s a group favorite around our place and really sets things off. The answer is 42. Monkey Pickle is also an excellent promotional agency that can show you how to get your message to the masses with tools like Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tumblr, Twitter and other social media channels. To learn more about our services contact us with your campaign ideas and we will put together a nice comprehensive plan that incorporates the best practices available for your business. Put your brand into sticky Monkey hands you can trust. Here at the Agency we offer SEO practices like blogging and other content development, graphic design and social media management. We are glad to help progress your brand’s creative strategy utilizing client consultations and training to roll out the new technology. Promoting a great websites well means good market research with high quality analytics. Be sure you spending your dollars in the most effective way possible for advertising or other marketing outlets. 5.) This is a red herring. FORE! Go for a longshot. Enter a contest we hold them regularly here at Monkey Pickle and love to reward people for getting involved. We offer things like photo caption contests and Top 3 article submissions too. A t-wooo! Blah blah blah, yakkity schmackity. No one ever, clearly reads number 2, do they? It is right before one, the anticipation is way too high. Most people are thinking “why even include it? I just wanna argue with what the producers picked to put in the number one slot anyway…pfff…” Well you’re right let’s get on with it. And the NUMBER ONE reason: Any time is the right time for a Monkey Pickle! There you have it ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s Top Ten list. We hoped you enjoyed it and thank you for tuning in. Please join us next time when our guests will be a a cat from weird lady’s house and an old stinky leather boot with no laces found at an unfinished construction site. Good night every body! Join the Monkey Pickles Mash Potatoes Club

What To Do When Bored At A Friend’s House

Have you ever been invited by a friend to his/her house but once you get there you really don’t see why you came in the first place? Well you are not alone. It happens. We tend to force ourselves to liking what our friends do even when they suck at it. But pretending can be fun sometimes. But what if you can’t pretend anymore? Well there are some activities you can do when bored at a friend’s house. So this means that you don’t have to force yourself to be active and lively. You can actually do the following activities and you won’t believe how fun it will be to be at your friend’s place.

Change Your Accent

Yes, pick that funny French accent you have always admired. Just be sure not to chock out of it. If you love Mexican soap operas, you have all it takes to pull a Mexican accent. Just make sure you don’t miss raising one eyebrow to make a point. So anything your friend says, reply with an accent. If he says something you don’t agree with, or you want to show anger, pull out a Russian accent and your point will be clear.

Make Faces Behind Your Friend

Did you know that you could actually make yourself useful when bored at a friend’s house? Yes you can. And the most constructive thing you can do is to make faces behind your friend but make sure he doesn’t see you doing that. It is simple—you are bored because he is not there to keep you company. He is probably busy doing something else and not involving you in it. Make use of this chance and look stupid. If you are standing, dance behind him and when he looks back, play dumb. Make it look like you were not doing anything; it’s entertaining AND annoying!

Go Online

This is the best treat you can ever give yourself other than sand-bathing in Mauritius. Go online and surf the web. There is no doubt that Google was invented by someone who was just bored at a friend’s house. In fact, 80% of the people who go online are normally bored. Oooh boy, how the internet cures boredom is a miracle. Things you can do on the internet include going to entertainment type sites. There are many web sites out there, where you can spend hours and hours of flipping through blog posts, videos, pictures, etc. And you can really have a good time without having to talk to anyone at all.

Watch Videos

If you are the type of a person who can spend hours glued to the TV then why don’t you find videos to watch? This could be funny clips, cartoons, music videos or adult films. Wait a minute… scratch that last one maybe. So gather as many videos as you can find on the shelves. If you can’t find any, grab your friend’s computer. No human being is too boring not to have any videos in his/her computer. Unless he is an alien.

The Tonsillectomy, Part 3: The Party

0

The patient has gone back to college.

Left behind, is a refrigerator filled with PUDDING AND JELLO. Left behind, is a freezer filled with POPSICLES AND ITALIAN ICE.

And, the cooler on the back deck

is still overflowing with beer, though the temperatures have risen above freezing, so I lack the confidence to tell you that they are still ice-cold. However . . . I am considering having a “post-tonsillectomy” party. Pro hockey players, babies, and the elderly are welcome.