It’s hard enough to get that job interview in the first place. So don’t blow it! The stress and pressure can be enough to crack even the coolest cats. Luckily, you’re prepared. Just follow these interview tips and don’t be fooled by your interviewer’s cleverly disguised trick questions.
Question 1: “Would You Like Something To Drink?”
The answer to this should always be yes.
Employers often use this tactic as a way to find out if you are paranoid of being poisoned. And while the truth is that they have probably poisoned other interviewees and former employees, it was probably not fatal and mainly just for tax purposes.
In the event that your interviewer offers you alcohol, you should always accept that as well. This is a tactic used by employers to see how much you can drink. A good tip for interviewees is to invite the potential employer to play an old drinking game: Whenever the interviewer refers to himself or herself as “we” or “the company,” the interviewer must drink. Whenever the interviewee rolls his eyes, he must drink. Games like these let the employer know you can get down, a truly valuable asset in any company.
Question 2: “Tell Me About Yourself.”
If you didn’t immediately say out loud, “Hey, that’s a statement, not a question!” then you aren’t paying enough attention. You probably won’t get the job at this rate. Pay attention.
Interviewers often use this one as a way to find out more about your habits: work habits, interpersonal habits and drug use.
The best tactic here is to be up front with the interviewer about your illicit substance history and even to offer to share from your stash. The interviewer is most likely trying to find out if you “know a guy.” Even if you don’t, it’s a good rule of thumb to tell them you do. Let them know you not only have a guy, but he has the “best stuff.” This is a surefire way to impress the interviewer and get that job for reals.
Question 3: “What Is A Time You Overcame An Obstacle?”
This question is the pinnacle of any interview. This is your time to shine.
Typically, employers ask this as a way to learn more about what you consider challenging and how your mind works when faced with problems. Don’t hold back.
“Real” obstacles are usually far too unimpressive to stick the interview. You are going to need to draw from what you’ve seen. One tried-and-true interview trick is called the “Batman Method.”
Without revealing your secret identity, share with your interviewer in a heartfelt way the problems you “faced” as a superhero. Let them know you only kill when it is absolutely necessary and always before police arrive. By giving yourself this pre-police edge, employers will be forced to recognize your capacity as a “go-getter, able to work under minimal supervision.”
Get creative here. Get your interviewer involved. If he was a villain, how would you kill him? Describe your process as you go. Explain which parts you would break and which ones you would sever. Like your first day in jail, you must establish yourself as dominant or you will find yourself underpaid and underappreciated.
Follow these tips and you will get the job of your dreams.