Monkey Pickles Gives You A Lift

Monkey Pickles Gives You A Lift

How do you get to the Hammetschwand

on the Bürgenstock plateau overlooking Lake Lucerne?

Aside from having to go to Switzerland, the answer is by elevator.
Europe’s highest exterior elevator, in fact. Located 847 ( 926.29 yards ) above sea level the Hammetschwand Lift whisks passengers 153m ( 167.32 yards ) up to spectacular views in less than one minute.

But what do you do, if by remote chance, the elevator you are in, has less spectacular views and takes longer than a minute to get you to your desired floor? Give up?

Don’t despair. Monkey Pickles has some ideas to help the hours breeze by.

1 ) Say, “Ding!” at each floor.

2 ) Ask if you can push the button for other people but then push the wrong ones.

3 ) Explain you are holding for open just for a moment as you are waiting for your friend. The, if no one walks in, stare into space and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”

4 ) Pretend that you’re a flight attendant and demonstrate emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

5 ) Make explosion noises every time someone presses a button.

6 ) If there is only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

7 ) Dress up as Steve Tyler but get your videos confused and bang furiously on the walls screaming for Run DMC to shut up.

8 ) Insist that everyone must produce a golden ticket before they can get in

9 ) Decorate each surface of the lift with MC Escher stairwell posters, lie down on the floor & fix a smile on people as enter. Reply to requests to get up with ” … or are you lying down. ” …. continue grinning.

10 ) Enter the lift wearing SCUBA gear and feign suffering from the bends as the lift goes up.

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Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.