Monkey Pickles & Me
(Allergy Information : This article may contain nuts :D)
My first contribution to The Monkey Pickles Universe was a piece suggesting that its creator would merrily bounding around happily licking faces in innocent greeting & offer the quirky promise of a refuge from reality. Little did I know how right I was.
Before Monkey Pickles I was mildly enjoying a snowball fight in less sparkly group when Mr M.Pickles bounded through with his MP business cards ( written in Cheese Whiz on crackers ). I took one … & very tasty it was too.
Having washed it down with a scoop of snow I considered its message.
“ Don’t eat the yellow snow.” …. I probably should have thought on that sooner. … But there was also the invitation to this land of treasures.
” Yarrr !! ” thought I, duct taping a parrot to a shoulder & poking myself in one eye. “This be for me, says I to thee. Yarrr! ”
Further posts reported Bigfoot style sightings of Mr. Pickles, with his following of feral cats & his adventures in staying one bound ahead of the befuddled authorities.
Still nothing bad happened to me and no men in black suits & dark glasses appeared at my door with a special pen that …………………………… sorry. … what was I saying?
…… Oh yes, ” How curious. ” I thought. ” At this point there are usually white coats & butterfly nets. It is almost as if I am being encouraged to express the side of me that one school report described as …. complicated.”
” Cool ! ” I exclaimed to my dog, which didn’t really appreciate my revelation or pass comment upon it, ” I think I could enjoy myself here. ”
And it was with the profile picture of a flaming cat that I discussed the topic “What would you do with the person above you?”… suggesting I crawl slowly across window sills pretending to be the sunrise while my accomplice set off a cockrel. This, too, seemed to go down well ( but not until sunset ) & again nothing bad happened. People continued to get up in plenty of time, continued to be friendly & welcoming & the sun rose as normal … & mewed at them.
There were fewer than 300 Monkey Picklers back then but like moths to a cat of fire ( Stoopid moths. I’m not The Moon. I’m a cat & I’m in trouble. Fetch help. No, don’t come closer yo ….. Well now you’re going to have to walk home, aren’t you? ) … more wonderful individual minds arrived to find that they too could ‘share’ without the fear of medical intervention.
And such adventures I had.
I invented the game, ” What’s The Anti-Matter? “. Created new species such as Soap Bubble Puppies & the Hugapotamus ... And became a King.
I even survived a challenge to my throne, tricking the simple turncoat, through his love for chocolate, into lordship of what was actually The Royal Kitty Litter.
” What has that to do with chocolate? “, you say.
Well sadly .. kitty isn’t in th best of health these days. But …shush. Don’t say anything because Lord Kitty-Litter is still really pleased that the chocolate isn’t fattening.
I now know the wonders of duct tape & of BRWBBs, have mastered the ninja battle cry of SPARKLES! I HAZ DEM, appreciate the value of the Wong answer and now realise that what is missing from a good snowball fight is a variety of interesting & suspiciously pungent soft centres. And yet there is so much more from too many under recognised brilliant minds.
And although it is wonderful exploring my imagination, getting lost & not finding my way out again … despite the trail of bread crumbs (very tasty) it is YOU, my fellow Picklers, that make it all possible. I have learnt & enjoy so much from you. My horizons have been expanded to such an extent that they contain shipping lanes.
Thank you all so so much.
(Compliments contain dairy product & must be consumed by egos within date)