June 1: Go Barefoot Day

By
SonOfMonkeyPickles
-
10 Reasons To Go Barefoot

 

1. You don’t have a choice, you are a bear

 

2. You are an emperor with a matching outfit.

 

3. You have Quantum Leaped back to 1984 to help Mary Decker win the Olympics but if you wear shoes everyone will realize you are not Zola Budd and you will be disqualified.

 

4. You are a centipede. It’s just to expensive.

 

5. You are auditioning for a lead role in Barefoot In The Park.
 

 

6. You are trapped on Bouncy Castle World.

 

7. You are a contessa.

 

8. You have fundamentally misunderstood what a fete is.

 

9. You’re playing in a beach soccer tournament and the other competitors are casting evil looks towards your heels. … They’re just jealous.

 

10. An old woman has moved into one of your shoes while you were asleep. Now your shoe is full of cats.
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SonOfMonkeyPickles
Nick Jackson was born in the UK, the land of gunpowder tea, but moved to America to escape exploding cups of tea. He now lives in Florida where he attempts come to terms with concepts such as how flat everything is and whether the alligator is a golfer's natural predator. Nick has written for Monkey Pickles from the beginning, as established in Cern, Switzerland, with the discovery of the long-sought Monkey Pickle Particle. He is somewhat "freaked out" by writing in the third person. Nick is motivated to write for the pleasure of the experience rather than to pay the bills, but he does recognize that pleasure is still not an acceptable method of payment in most respectable retail outlets. He hopes to raise a smile or two before being ejected from the store.